- Joined
- Jun 12, 2015
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- Conservative
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- Married
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- Yes
Yup, I'm announcing, I'm a candidate for President of the USA in 2020 (I need a bigger house).
I want to get rid of Trump, and since that can't be done from the Right, I'm registering as a Democrat and will run from the Left.
Personally, I have to offer:
1. I'm younger and better looking than anyone else who will run.
2. I'd be only the third president in US history to have a doctorate.
3. My wife is even better looking than Trump's and unlike him, I can tie a necktie.
4. I'm poorer than anyone else who will run for the Dem nomination.
5. I've never held a political office.
6. I know the lyrics to the songs of almost every musical ever done and to a lot of those 60's rock and folk songs.
My TEN POINT PLAN (making me more of a Democrat than any others who will run)....
1. To stem poverty, EVERYONE 18 and over who resides in the USA at least 16 weeks a year (obviously including those here illegally) will automatically get $1,000.00 per month (African Americans will get double to make up for they once being slaves). None to those under 18 (I want to discourage children and the global warming population causes).
2. A Constitutional Amendment that works to get more women in congress (I won' apply this to the presidency for obvious reasons). Elections will be controlled by odd/even congressional numbers to start (half must be filled by a woman, the others MAY be), but there will be no term limits just when there is an open seat, it MUST flip to a women if the current holder is a male. Another amendment to drop the requirement that the president, senators and representives must be American citizens or residents. Another than AFTER my two terms, candidates for any federal office who identify themselves as "non-male" or "people of color" only need 40% of the vote to win. (Note: None of these Constitutional Amendments may actually materialize but no Democrat voting in the primaries will realize that).
3. To reduce the horrible population of the USA (which is destroying the planet), I'd give all abortion clinics a big stack of $5,000 VISA gift cards so they can hand them out to anyone who gets an abortion (which will be free in my administration). All full time elementary school, middle school, high school and college students will get two gift cards if they get an abortion.
4. Eliminate the military. It's mean.
5. Eliminate the borders. They're mean.
6. Replace the National Anthem with "Won't You Be My Neighbor"
7. All law enforcement will be forbidden to have guns or other unkind things. It will be illegal for them to say or do anything unkind. They will be required to dress like Mr. Rodgers. Require that all cop cars be Toyota Prius' with a happy face painted on each side.
8. The poor can exempt themselves from all federal taxes; each will determine if they are poor by whether they feel poor or not. The rich will have their taxes doubled but only if they are registered Republicans.
9. Eliminate all private schools and make homeschooling illegal. These are mind control institutions of conservative idiots. LIBS must control the minds of children so we need all in public school The Federal government will control what is taught in all schools in our country. Tuition and fees at all schools, colleges and universities will be illegal, but to dissuade professional students, this will end once a college student has completed 14 years or 500 college units (unless they have yet to earn a degree or feel unfinished).
10. So as to improve the environment, require all cars and trucks be painted green.
I think I will get the nomination of the Democrat Party. And can defeat Donald Trump.
Can I count on your support?
Josiah in 2020
.
I want to get rid of Trump, and since that can't be done from the Right, I'm registering as a Democrat and will run from the Left.
Personally, I have to offer:
1. I'm younger and better looking than anyone else who will run.
2. I'd be only the third president in US history to have a doctorate.
3. My wife is even better looking than Trump's and unlike him, I can tie a necktie.
4. I'm poorer than anyone else who will run for the Dem nomination.
5. I've never held a political office.
6. I know the lyrics to the songs of almost every musical ever done and to a lot of those 60's rock and folk songs.
My TEN POINT PLAN (making me more of a Democrat than any others who will run)....
1. To stem poverty, EVERYONE 18 and over who resides in the USA at least 16 weeks a year (obviously including those here illegally) will automatically get $1,000.00 per month (African Americans will get double to make up for they once being slaves). None to those under 18 (I want to discourage children and the global warming population causes).
2. A Constitutional Amendment that works to get more women in congress (I won' apply this to the presidency for obvious reasons). Elections will be controlled by odd/even congressional numbers to start (half must be filled by a woman, the others MAY be), but there will be no term limits just when there is an open seat, it MUST flip to a women if the current holder is a male. Another amendment to drop the requirement that the president, senators and representives must be American citizens or residents. Another than AFTER my two terms, candidates for any federal office who identify themselves as "non-male" or "people of color" only need 40% of the vote to win. (Note: None of these Constitutional Amendments may actually materialize but no Democrat voting in the primaries will realize that).
3. To reduce the horrible population of the USA (which is destroying the planet), I'd give all abortion clinics a big stack of $5,000 VISA gift cards so they can hand them out to anyone who gets an abortion (which will be free in my administration). All full time elementary school, middle school, high school and college students will get two gift cards if they get an abortion.
4. Eliminate the military. It's mean.
5. Eliminate the borders. They're mean.
6. Replace the National Anthem with "Won't You Be My Neighbor"
7. All law enforcement will be forbidden to have guns or other unkind things. It will be illegal for them to say or do anything unkind. They will be required to dress like Mr. Rodgers. Require that all cop cars be Toyota Prius' with a happy face painted on each side.
8. The poor can exempt themselves from all federal taxes; each will determine if they are poor by whether they feel poor or not. The rich will have their taxes doubled but only if they are registered Republicans.
9. Eliminate all private schools and make homeschooling illegal. These are mind control institutions of conservative idiots. LIBS must control the minds of children so we need all in public school The Federal government will control what is taught in all schools in our country. Tuition and fees at all schools, colleges and universities will be illegal, but to dissuade professional students, this will end once a college student has completed 14 years or 500 college units (unless they have yet to earn a degree or feel unfinished).
10. So as to improve the environment, require all cars and trucks be painted green.
I think I will get the nomination of the Democrat Party. And can defeat Donald Trump.
Can I count on your support?
Josiah in 2020
.
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