People absentmindedly walk off with the lighters (and other accoutrement) without being aware of it at the time. I don't see this act as stealing, but more as carelessness. Now, if the person later realizes that they have an item belonging to someone else, of course they should return it with an apology at the first opportunity.
Now, when you told your friend that he had taken your lighter, he should have apologized and promised to return it the next time he sees you. I think if he had done this, you would not have felt compelled to give him the warning.
Whether or not he felt accused and wanted to leave is one thing, but the fact that he took back the drink he had brought for you was a very small act, IMHO. With rare exceptions, if you give something to someone, you should not take it back, no matter what transpires in the meantime.