Reconciliation

[MoreCoffee]

When you have wronged another person - say by spreading gossip that you do not know to be true - what do you do to make amends for your complicity in harming their reputation and is there any rite or theological provision in your faith tradition for making amends?

Do you confess your wrongs to the one you have harmed or to anybody else?

 

[Lamb]

Our egos don't always allow us to see our crimes against other people, especially in regards to gossip. Sometimes we have to be told by someone the wrongs we've done. I find it best to go to that person and apologize. If there is a way I know of to reverse the wrong I will make an attempt to do that.

 

[MoreCoffee]

Our egos don't always allow us to see our crimes against other people, especially in regards to gossip. Sometimes we have to be told by someone the wrongs we've done. I find it best to go to that person and apologize. If there is a way I know of to reverse the wrong I will make an attempt to do that.

Harmful gossip is a little like spilled milk or a pillow that breaks and spills all its feathers outside on a windy day. One cannot gather the milk back into the container to restore it to its original condition and one cannot gather all the feathers to refill the pillow. The way gossip spreads is chaotic and pretty well irreversible.

 

[Rens]

When you have wronged another person - say by spreading gossip that you do not know to be true - what do you do to make amends for your complicity in harming their reputation and is there any rite or theological provision in your faith tradition for making amends?

Do you confess your wrongs to the one you have harmed or to anybody else?

LOL after our divorce I went to my old neighbour to gossip about my horrible ex.
Then later we said sorry to each other and we got along again and I said: hey do you talk to those neighbours? How are they doing?
He said: No after you went there to gossip about me they don't talk to me anymore, oh never mind he said lol.
It was such a filthy divorce. Half of the church picked his side and I was insane and the other half picked my side and he was a monster.
Then later I talked to one who picked my side and she said: that's horrible how he treated you, this and that. I said yeah well you didn't hear the whole story and I just told her. Then she understood. Otherwise by my fault people may keep a grudge against him.

 

[Lamb]

Harmful gossip is a little like spilled milk or a pillow that breaks and spills all its feathers outside on a windy day. One cannot gather the milk back into the container to restore it to its original condition and one cannot gather all the feathers to refill the pillow. The way gossip spreads is chaotic and pretty well irreversible.

Not all gossip will continue on for years as truth though. It (truth) can be restored.

 

[visionary]

Apologies go a long ways. Correcting the ears that heard the errors helps. Praying for forgiveness helps. But like feathers to the wind, there is often no way to gather them all back up from whence they have flown.

 

[MoreCoffee]

Can you be reconciled with the one against whom you spread harmful gossip?

 

[Lamb]

Can you be reconciled with the one against whom you spread harmful gossip?

Yes! Sometimes it takes a long time to work out though since our human egos are very proud and gets in the way.

 

[MoreCoffee]

Yes! Sometimes it takes a long time to work out though since our human egos are very proud and gets in the way.

In Catholic teaching the sin of calumny is accounted very serious because of the harm it does to the one about whom the untruths are told. A reputation once lost is permanently damaged. That is not to say that calumny cannot be forgiven but its harm may never be expiated even with the passage of time. We ought to be very careful not to hurt the reputation of another by wickedly repeating stories we do not know to be true and even if we know the truth of it we ought to be very careful about spreading the information for fear that in so doing we will cause greater harm than wherever wickedness they have done caused in the community.

 

[Lamb]

Gossip in the Jewish culture is also seen has having great consequences as a very serious sin and so I see the connection between Jews and Catholics in this.

 

[psalms 91]

In this regard I wish other denoms would see it this way as well, as it is true that the harm can never be totally undone