It's finally gone, this stupid crushing all the time and looking for someone to fill a gap only God can fill. The last crush was on that American guy and then I realized he's never coming here and I'll never go there, so it's no use. Rather have him as a friend. He did help me out and let me go after God again after that last crash I survived. That was great. I wake up with Jesus now, better and if He wants me to be single always, that's okay. I had a good talk with God. I never want a rotten relationship anymore, then I'm rather single. The kids are so glad that that guy left. He barked at them and changed all the rules all of a sudden. Made me realize it's better to be single when you have kids. All that fuzz you get, ain't nobody got time fo that.