Forgivness... Another layer of the onion

[Alithis]

I recently learned a deeper layer of the topic of forgivness which rocked me.causing me to reevaluate those i thought i had forgiven.
Not that i had not forgiven them.but that
I had not in every case forgiven them to the extent God forgives me.

I did not realize that i was attributing layers and levels of forgivness to different people
Dependant of the offense i had needed too forgive. And how ..though forgiven..i was allowing "a Seed" of it to remain in my heart .
What this means is..i was not fully forgiving them.and it was a painful conviction to have and deeeply troubling.

I would not allow that seed to be watered..everytime that occurance was brought to remembrance i would declare that forgivness anew.
But the fact that the seed of it was still in my heart was an uncomfortable revelation.
And God can see that seed.he sees EVERTHING in our heart.NOTHING IS HIDDEN from him .

The scripture warns us. To beware,lest ANyRoot of bitterness spring up ..as it defiles many ,not just me.such a root springs not from no where..but from a seed of unforgivness. Not from the plant of unforgivness but from its seed.

And it is this seed that god showed me was hiding in my heart and he wants it OUT. The Holy spirit will not tolerate unforgivness.
It is the most serious of all sin that a believer could fall into the error of.it must be repented of ,turned away from and dealt with.

 

[Alithis]

How do we know if we have seeds of unforgivness...
What the lord showed me was shocking and simple .

We treat that person differently then we did before and hold a greater preference towards those that have not made an offence against us.

It is not that we have not forgiven them..but the seed of it remains in us and is made evident by how we treat that person.we hold them off at arms length.we say we have forgiven them..and we have.but not fully..we still have the seed of it in our heart.
We have forgiven but we dont go out of our way to invite that person for lunch.. We reason it away.but god knows it is because we are treating them differently to a person who hasnt offended us. And that this behaviour comes from that seed hiding in our heart.

In contrast.. When God forgives us...
He does not treat us differently.
He does not say ,i forgive you but just stay over there on that side of the room..
He rather..fully embraces us.so joyed to be reconciled to us as one.

When we look at forgivness and measure our version of it against gods reality of it.we see we harbour the seeds of unforgivness more then we admit.
And he knows they can destroy us.so in his love for us he wants to make it known and he wants us to forgive properly
Like he forgives us .and treat that person like it never ever happened. Like he does to us.
----
I know this will be deeply challanging to many ,as it was and is for me.

But worth the freedom of dealing with the issue.
It is so serious.
jesus said.. If we do not forgive those who sin against us..neither will god forgive us.
Unforgiven people simply Do Not Enter the joy of the Lord.

We have to deal with this.

 

[Rens]

I had that too. I thought I had totally forgiven my ex until he said something in church, can't even remember what, some years ago and I flipped out there, also at the 2 ladies who helped take my baby away from me and such. So I thought: oops. What's in comes out LOL. Then I really forgave every wrong word spoken. I couldn't, but God showed me whatI had done to him and then I could choose and He did it. I get along great with them, but one woman just thinks how she thinks is great and I trudted her again but it was not possible. Not that I hold anything ahainst her but it's no sin to use your brain. I would never invite her over simply because I don't want the gestapo here or problems with my ex.

 

[visionary]

Complete forgiveness, remembers no more.

 

[Alithis]

Complete forgiveness, remembers no more.

We remember.. And we choose to do so when we dont forgive.
So we can also choose to forget..by not purposly calling it to remembrance... It takes time ..untill though we may know it took place .we no longer relive it..

 

[Rens]

Normally it's like it was or even better, but then the other person is sorry. When they have no idea they're doing anything wrong I don't care, but I do protect myself. Not gonna share personal stuff. Last year I tried to tell her but she didn't understand. Doesn't matter. I'd go there, but my house is not open for visitors with a dust problem LOL. Hahahahahahaha especially not now that I have bunnies. There's 2 parents in school. The guy barked at me. My son doesn't play there anymore. I don't care that they're not sorry, but the relationship is not like it was. They just walk past me and say nothing, but normally I don't even notice, because I never wear glasses and never see anyone. They have to yell at me to get my attention. It is really weird though, but whatever. I'm still nice to that boy and his brother and sister. Only was friends with him anyway. Parents would let me out in the rain before this problem. Not welcome inside, only to babysit outside, so the relationship hasn't changed much. It's just more honest now. No fake doing nice.

 

[psalms 91]

Remembering is not the problem it is the dragging it back up that is

 

[Lamb]

Where do healthy boundaries fit in (since we're still on this sinful earth)?

 

[Rens]

Remembering is not the problem it is the dragging it back up that is

Yes holding it against someone or just the way you think. If you still get mad and want to think about it over and over it's not forgiven and healed yet. Some things I also really forgot. Sometimes I wonder why we even divorced, because I have only nice memories lol.

 

[psalms 91]

Yes holding it against someone or just the way you think. If you still get mad and want to think about it over and over it's not forgiven and healed yet. Some things I also really forgot. Sometimes I wonder why we even divorced, because I have only nice memories lol.

That is a good thing. Time softens our memories as well. It seems to heal many wounds

 

[visionary]

I had that too. I thought I had totally forgiven my ex until he said something in church, can't even remember what, some years ago and I flipped out there, also at the 2 ladies who helped take my baby away from me and such. So I thought: oops. What's in comes out LOL. Then I really forgave every wrong word spoken. I couldn't, but God showed me whatI had done to him and then I could choose and He did it. I get along great with them, but one woman just thinks how she thinks is great and I trudted her again but it was not possible. Not that I hold anything ahainst her but it's no sin to use your brain. I would never invite her over simply because I don't want the gestapo here or problems with my ex.

When she stated that she can not even remember, it was because it was completely forgiven and forgotten...So this is a perfect example of completely forgiven.. and forgotten...remember no more.

 

[Alithis]

When she stated that she can not even remember, it was because it was completely forgiven and forgotten...So this is a perfect example of completely forgiven.. and forgotten...remember no more.

the post youve replied to are somewhat
missing the center of the point.
the importance of not harbouring
the seeds of unforgivness after forgiving.
but the point of remembrance is important because it is in remembering that we treat that person different then we did before. displaying that the seed of it remains in us. ..more soon

 

[visionary]

I have instances of my own where I know there was something, but for the life of me I can not remember... all I really remember was that it was wrong, I forgave and now it is forgotten and can not be brought to mind.

 

[Alithis]

isnt his peace and joy we find in him when we ovey him ,absolutley wonderful.. beyond expression.

 

[Rens]

the post youve replied to are somewhat
missing the center of the point.
the importance of not harbouring
the seeds of unforgivness after forgiving.
but the point of remembrance is important because it is in remembering that we treat that person different then we did before. displaying that the seed of it remains in us. ..more soon

But you have to sometimes. Later she picked me up for church and she just always well she's not a Jude but she does that and thinks it's normal and they took my kids again. Last year I was in my ex's house and there were 3 crumbs on the floor and she called him. Then I was sick of it and told her and it's good now but she thinks what she does is good. She will not stop. What about the pervert I dated. I forgave him but I can't be just friends with him. Just common sense.
Parents who treat me like crap. No problem, I pray for them, but I told the kids they can only invite kids over with normal parents that have normal decency. I won't let myself be treated as a doormat anymore.

 

[visionary]

Good for you... Is this lady in cahoots with ex?.. like a wanna be affair or something more?.. She needs her own life, and if she thinks this is it, then she might have ulterior motives. Just saying...

 

[Rens]

Good for you... Is this lady in cahoots with ex?.. like a wanna be affair or something more?.. She needs her own life, and if she thinks this is it, then she might have ulterior motives. Just saying...

No she's just from church. His wife is sweet. She just messes in other people's affairs. I said something about it last year. She didn't even understand, so I just let it go. Who cares? I just make sure she can't bother me, but for the rest I'm nice to her in church.

 

[Alithis]

But you have to sometimes. Later she picked me up for church and she just always well she's not a Jude but she does that and thinks it's normal and they took my kids again. Last year I was in my ex's house and there were 3 crumbs on the floor and she called him. Then I was sick of it and told her and it's good now but she thinks what she does is good. She will not stop. What about the pervert I dated. I forgave him but I can't be just friends with him. Just common sense.
Parents who treat me like crap. No problem, I pray for them, but I told the kids they can only invite kids over with normal parents that have normal decency. I won't let myself be treated as a doormat anymore.

few will grapple with this .. becasue it IS a difficult one. But the dilllema that arise in these scenarios is based in the fact that we do not desire thier salvation... the scenariois being raised are all based around self worth ,self comfort ,self safty etc .. its difficult to grapple with but the lord jesus showed us the example ... dipping bread with the very one who HE KNEW was about to betray him to a death most brutal .

as for a weirdo one dated... we reap what we sow . whenw e acknowledge the lord in ALL ur ways he directs our paths -he is true to his word .
so many tangled scenraios ariss form the truth that we are not about oiur fathers business .. but we are about our own worldly business .

 

[Rens]

few will grapple with this .. becasue it IS a difficult one. But the dilllema that arise in these scenarios is based in the fact that we do not desire thier salvation... the scenariois being raised are all based around self worth ,self comfort ,self safty etc .. its difficult to grapple with but the lord jesus showed us the example ... dipping bread with the very one who HE KNEW was about to betray him to a death most brutal .

as for a weirdo one dated... we reap what we sow . whenw e acknowledge the lord in ALL ur ways he directs our paths -he is true to his word .
so many tangled scenraios ariss form the truth that we are not about oiur fathers business .. but we are about our own worldly business .

I do desire their salvation. I dated that guy because I got a dream I thought was from God, but it wasn't. I actually wanted to marry him and got some great advice from Gideons. Of course it was my fault to be that stupid. I told him I don't hate him. I just can't be just friends. Still pray he gets saved. That dad who barked at me, I dreamt before that happened that he got saved. Still pray for them, but I'll just let the Lord fix that. My own comfort? Yes also. I'm not a doormat. I can't havee 3 kiids plus one that doesn't listen to me anymore. Sweet kid but not raised. He went to the water with my kid when they played there. Parents just stay inside and don't watch them. My son could have drowned. His dad doesn't want that anymore either. If I watch them he throws my eggs over the balcony. If I say don't do that he throws another. No idea why I did that for 2 years. I just felt sorry for the kid that his parents just throw him outside and don't watch him. The other parents are from a special school. They don't want their kid to play with any kid. Too much effort. Not much I can do. Not gonna keep begging. That kid asked my son to go somewhere where he alsowent with his parents, but the dad gets angry. Go away. And we just stood there waiting all the time. Look, I'm sorry, but just play with him in school. The parents don't want it. Jesus couldn't even gather the kids of Jerusalem.
It's just a pity for the kids, but it will get better. My son dreamt that all the kids in his class came to the Lord.

 

[Rens]

few will grapple with this .. becasue it IS a difficult one. But the dilllema that arise in these scenarios is based in the fact that we do not desire thier salvation... the scenariois being raised are all based around self worth ,self comfort ,self safty etc .. its difficult to grapple with but the lord jesus showed us the example ... dipping bread with the very one who HE KNEW was about to betray him to a death most brutal .
.

That example of Jude, I've thought about that when I was mad that someone took my money and then I thought: oh who cares? Jesus knew that he stole the money and He just let him.