If someone is paying for dinner:

[Jazzy]

If someone is paying for dinner should you order the cheapest, mid level, or most expensive item on the menu?

 

[Lamb]

I tend to order the cheapest thing that I know I'd like to eat, unless that thing is a plain grilled cheese sandwich. Then I'll go for more mid-line.

 

[Albion]

I'd never order one of the most expensive meals under those circumstances, but I would also see it as defeating the kind offer of the other party for me to merely order soup and half a sandwich, for instance.

 

[Josiah]

In the business world, the guest is free to order anything they want in terms of food. And the protocol is

But it's different with booze, appetizers and dessert. Unlike the entree, there's no assumption with these, so to make it work, the host simply takes the lead and it's polite for the guest to follow suit (if they want that). I don't order booze at lunch, so when asked by the server what we'd like to drink, I violate the protocol of guest orders first and I just speak up "I'd like iced tea" - and guest knows to order a soft drink, not booze. And if that's fine with me, I'll make a point and specifically say, "Feel free to order ________, I'm just a iced tea drinker." Same with appetizers and dessert (neither do I order at lunch). I just take the lead: "I'm not a dessert person (because I'm not) but feel free to order dessert." But for the entree, yeah the guest is free to order anything on the menu and it's not at all inappropriate to order an expensive (even most expensive) item - no problem (of course, I'm not personally paying for this, the company is).

In dating, thinking WAY back when I was dating. It kind of depended on the situation and the restaurant - but yeah, she's welcome to order whatever she wants; my job is to please, honor, take care of her. A fancy place at dinner kind of assumed to include wine, appetizer and dessert. Hey, a guy is winning her over! Don't be cheap!!!! If you take this beautiful lady to a grand place, you are prepared for a big bill (and that's what you'll get) - she's worth it, and a lot more.



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[tango]

If someone is paying for dinner should you order the cheapest, mid level, or most expensive item on the menu?

So much depends on the circumstance.

If I'm meeting a friend and we take turns to pay, or they are celebrating, I'll typically choose the same sort of thing I'd normally eat. If a friend is paying to mark an occasion I'll tone down my order a bit if I know they aren't awash with cash - I can appreciate the gesture without necessarily having to drain their finances. If it's a friend who is celebrating their lottery win (yeah, I know, not a regular occurrence) there's less need to tone it down so it will probably be the steak and lobster.

As a matter of routine in a social setting I order based on the assumption I'm paying, and my selections are usually somewhere around the middle of the price range. Every once in a while I really want the fillet steak but seldom choose it if I'm paying and wouldn't choose it if someone else was paying unless they had ordered something similar first.

It's not a bad idea to let the host order first and take their order as a cue. If they order the green salad keep it cheap, if they order the steak and lobster there's no need to be too restrained.

In a business context I'd order something I wanted to eat that wasn't going to be messy. In a situation like that presumably the intention is to do business worth much more than the cost of the dinner, so rather than fuss over whether I could have saved a few bucks I'll just have what I want that won't leave me looking amateurish as something drips down my shirt because it's so messy to eat.

 

[Stravinsk]

Ha! As a Vegan probably the cheapest option is going to be among the few items I could actually order. Potatoes with salad and bread, please.

In a dating situation, as a guy I don't get asked out a lot by females (few are that direct) but it has happened. I don't consider the $$ spent as an indicator of a person's worth to me. If she want's my unvaxxed pure seed, she'd have to impress me in other ways. Don't assume.

 

[Josiah]

A couple of actual CHEAP DATE stories....

Both are from friends of mine when I was in grad school.... both science NERDS - nice enough guys, not bad looking, very smart but very shy and inexperienced.

The first was like 24 or so and had never been on a date in his life. He confessed there was this girl we all knew that he really wanted to ask out and with considerable pressure from several of us, finally did. He took her out to Hometown Buffet. We were shocked - and ask if he was broke or what and he said he really liked the chicken there. Let's just say he never got a second date. I'm not saying the meal was the only reason but...

The second was similar. This guy actually had been on a few dates. Nothing ever worked out. Anyway, he took the girl to this hotel bar that had abundant and free appetizers during happy hour. He didn't even grant drinks for them, he ordered both of them a coke. And invited her to eat all the appetizers she wanted. No dinner afterwards, no nothing afterwards. No second date.... he asked us what went wrong.



.

 

[Stravinsk]

A couple of actual CHEAP DATE stories....

Both are from friends of mine when I was in grad school.... both science NERDS - nice enough guys, not bad looking, very smart but very shy and inexperienced.

The first was like 24 or so and had never been on a date in his life. He confessed there was this girl we all knew that he really wanted to ask out and with considerable pressure from several of us, finally did. He took her out to Hometown Buffet. We were shocked - and ask if he was broke or what and he said he really liked the chicken there. Let's just say he never got a second date. I'm not saying the meal was the only reason but...

The second was similar. This guy actually had been on a few dates. Nothing ever worked out. Anyway, he took the girl to this hotel bar that had abundant and free appetizers during happy hour. He didn't even grant drinks for them, he ordered both of them a coke. And invited her to eat all the appetizers she wanted. No dinner afterwards, no nothing afterwards. No second date.... he asked us what went wrong.



.

If I were either of those guys I'd count my blessings. Who want's a high maintenance female? Even if you can afford one, the minute one has troubles in life, or she decides she doesn't love you anymore, or cheats on you - some of them will go after everything you have. I've never liked overly materialistic people - they are typically the kind that will do anything for fame and fortune and are shallow shells of people. Not limited to females either, as I have a male relative who is this way and I despise this aspect of him.