thinking about sitting out church for a while

[NewCreation435]

I have been really dissatisfied with the church I joined last year. I know that covid19 is going around and there has to be social distancing, but I have never found a place in the church I attend to serve even though I have asked about it. I don't know what other church in my area to go to and really don't know what I want at this point. I feel distant from others when I do go to church and like I never seem to be able to find a place to fit in. I didn't go today to church, but watch another area church online, which is what I have done most of the time lately. I think maybe I need to sit it out until I figure out what I want. I'm tired of getting into a church and getting involved and then dropping out.

 

[Albion]

Hi. It may be necessary to sit it out for awhile and consider alternatives. But only for awhile.

You've looked around, but without success. There could be a number of reasons for your frustration.

Some times, and in some areas of the country, the choices are limited and not much can be done about that. However, you want to play a role in the church of your choice, and it strikes me that aside from joining a Bible Study group or the choir, newcomers are not likely to be tapped by a new church to be in an important leadership position, no matter what the denomination is. Not until they have become much more of a familiar face, etc.

If you have abilities and experience and would benefit the congregation if you were given a chance to "serve," the only place in which you are likely to have success in the short run would be in a very small congregation that really is in need. Of course, each congregation has its own personality, so when it comes to "fitting in" and being warmly welcomed aside from the issue of serving in the capacity you hope for, that's a somewhat different matter.

 

[tango]

Serving in a church can be a tricky one. In anything like a teaching or leadership role it's entirely normal for a church to want to get the feel of someone before they are invited to teach, simply because any church worthy of the name will want to make sure that you'll be teaching sound doctrine, a suitable leader etc. And then sometimes a church has more than enough people doing a particular thing (teaching or otherwise) and don't feel they need any more, which can leave a new person with a desire to use and develop their gifts feeling excluded. Churches may have opportunities to teach children's classes but unless you already have child abuse clearances that can sometimes take a while to come through, and it can take a lot of patience to teach a roomful of small children.

I'm often conscious of the way a church can end up with the same person doing something for so long it's always assumed there's no point anyone else stepping up because, you know, the Joneses have that all fixed up for themselves. Except perhaps the Joneses would dearly love to hand over to someone else but nobody steps forward because they figure the Joneses will have it. Then, when nobody volunteers and the Joneses reluctantly agree to do it for another year it just confirms the viewpoint that they've got it all sewn up and won't let anyone else get a look in.

The issue of distancing makes everything more difficult, particularly if you're more vulnerable and therefore more inclined to keep your distance and leave a slightly larger buffer than is technically necessary. It's not easy to maintain, let alone build, a close fellowship from several feet away with everbody's faces covered.