Terminal illness and comfort

[Andrew]

My mom is terminally ill, she was supposed to be released to go back home and enjoy her days with family but because her oxygen supply being so great she won't be able to come home soon
Me and my sister cleaned up the whole house and decorated it for thanksgiving a little early and we were going to have a family thanksgiving sunday..
There are some real spiritual differences on how family members are reacting to her illness.. My aunt goes to Joel Osteens church in Houston and she has been really bombarding my mom with miraculous healing preaching and prayer, telling us to keep preaching to her healing scriptures and implying that our faith is weak, she says she knows that she will come out of this and we believed and prayed but after a few days she got worse but she just keeps on and my mom is exhausted by being forced to man please my aunt... I believe she needs to stop giving her false hope that if she gets worse then we weren't really believing and we thus lack faith.. :/ of course we pray for healing but what I really want is for my mom to be comforted and to not be afraid knowing that she is in God's hands.
I know she does, she even kind of hints that her sister is being a little too hokey because she just never stops, it really offended my dad because she said something about "some of us don't really believe" and my dad looked at her asked "do you really think I don't believe?", him being a Catholic she probably has been taught that Catholics aren't really believers by Joel Osteen, that really makes me mad.
I absolutely have nothing against Catholics and I consider myself apart of the Catholic faith, I would live and die a happy Catholic over being a member of a prosperity mega church.. I love my aunt but she needs to lay off of being judgmental and know when it's time to comfort instead of preach because my Mom has grown very spiritual and very close to God the past year and I don't want anyone to shake her faith at this moment.
A priest gave her her last rights this morning and she felt such comfort and relief! My heart rejoiced after my dad told me that, he said it reassured her and that she's ready whenever the time comes
This is what it's all about, the promise of everlasting life won on the cross SHOULD comfort every believer in the hour of their death.
I got to tell her a while back that she had already died with Christ crucified and was buried in his baptism and was raised a new creation and that she was sealed and not to fear death, it was through a text and she never responded to it but I wasn't meaning to scare her, it obviously didn't and I hope it gave her reassurance and comfort.
I'll get to see her tomorrow and was wondering if you all can share some comforting advice, maybe some scripture, I was reading psalms today which is such an inspiring and hope filled book that I notice my uncle nor aunt rarely mention.
I was also reading Mathew today about the angel rolling away the rock and how Jesus told mary to rejoice when she saw him again

 

[Particular]

For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God, whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another. My heart faints within me!
Job 19:25-27

 

[tango]

This is a really difficult time (not that you needed me to tell you that) - I've been there in only slightly different circumstances and frankly the garbage the likes of Joel Osteen and Bill Johnson spew out makes me want to be sick. The last thing anyone needs at a time like this is someone telling them that they lack faith, they aren't true believers, or that someone has hidden sin or some such. We are mortal and our bodies die - the reason we die is because God decreed that we would die right back in Eden after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit.

Verses I like would include (some for her, some for you):

Hab 3:17-18 NKJV Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls— (18) Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.
I like this verse because it suggests that even if everything has gone as badly wrong as it can, the writer will still rejoice in God and take joy.

2Ti 4:6-8 NKJV For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. (7) I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (8) Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.
Paul describes how he has reached the end of the race, his life will soon be done and he is ready to receive his reward.

Rom 8:23 NKJV Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body.
God will always heal us, in a manner of speaking. Sometimes that healing takes the form of redemption of our physical body as we pass from now into eternity...

Rev 21:3-5 NKJV And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. (4) And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." (5) Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful."
... to the place where there really is no more death, sorrow, pain etc. and everything is made new.

1Th 4:13 NKJV But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.
This one surprised me at first. My mother asked for it to be included in her memorial and at first I struggled with it. But the idea isn't that we don't grieve - losing a loved one is difficult and the loss is very real. The point is that we don't grieve in the same way as those who have no hope. The hope of resurrection to the new heaven and the new earth means that death isn't the time we go from being alive to being worm food, it's the time we go from this body to our immortal body and spend the rest of eternity with God.

Joh 14:27 NKJV Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
I pray that God grants you and your mother the peace that passes all human understanding over these next days.

 

[Andrew]

This is a really difficult time (not that you needed me to tell you that) - I've been there in only slightly different circumstances and frankly the garbage the likes of Joel Osteen and Bill Johnson spew out makes me want to be sick. The last thing anyone needs at a time like this is someone telling them that they lack faith, they aren't true believers, or that someone has hidden sin or some such. We are mortal and our bodies die - the reason we die is because God decreed that we would die right back in Eden after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit.

Verses I like would include (some for her, some for you):

Hab 3:17-18 NKJV Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls— (18) Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.
I like this verse because it suggests that even if everything has gone as badly wrong as it can, the writer will still rejoice in God and take joy.

2Ti 4:6-8 NKJV For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. (7) I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (8) Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.
Paul describes how he has reached the end of the race, his life will soon be done and he is ready to receive his reward.

Rom 8:23 NKJV Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body.
God will always heal us, in a manner of speaking. Sometimes that healing takes the form of redemption of our physical body as we pass from now into eternity...

Rev 21:3-5 NKJV And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. (4) And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." (5) Then He who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." And He said to me, "Write, for these words are true and faithful."
... to the place where there really is no more death, sorrow, pain etc. and everything is made new.

1Th 4:13 NKJV But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.
This one surprised me at first. My mother asked for it to be included in her memorial and at first I struggled with it. But the idea isn't that we don't grieve - losing a loved one is difficult and the loss is very real. The point is that we don't grieve in the same way as those who have no hope. The hope of resurrection to the new heaven and the new earth means that death isn't the time we go from being alive to being worm food, it's the time we go from this body to our immortal body and spend the rest of eternity with God.

Joh 14:27 NKJV Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
I pray that God grants you and your mother the peace that passes all human understanding over these next days.

Thank you for these verses and personal commentary tango, these are the verses of scripture she needs to hear! My aunt and uncle just focus on healing verses that are mostly one liners and are rather useless for her knowing that the context lacks and the poetry lacks as well, no insight just a quick "be healed" line, she'd much rather be comforted by those verses you shared!

 

[Bluezone777]

I think it might be best to keep your aunt away from her. She(your aunt) isn't a Christian and neither is Joel Osteen because no Christian would willingly sit under his teachings and believe it to be truth. He is a false teacher who will make shipwreck of the lives of any who sit under his teachings. Joel is the kind of man who would lock the doors of his church and prevent people from using them for shelter following hurricane Harvey and then only opening them after he was guilt tripped into doing so when the news reported on it. What kind of Christian preacher does that?

I think what would bring her comfort in these days is being able to know she has done her job well as a mother and has raised fine upstanding children who will honor her name and follow the Lord all the days of their lives. A part of that is making the time to be with her so she doesn't have to go through it all alone.

 

[Lamb]

Andrew, your mom got sick before my mom did and I've been praying for her often and think of her when I pray for my mom as well at night.

Planting seeds from scripture don't return to God empty: Isaiah 55:11 so My word that proceeds from My mouth will not return to Me empty, but it will accomplish what I please, and it will prosper where I send it.

As much as I would love a miracle to happen for your mom it's also rational to keep in mind that someday God will call her home. He will send the angels to gather her to Him and that is always comforting to remember.

 

[ValleyGal]

I'm so sorry your mom is sick. One thing the prosperity people don't seem to get is that we are all subject to the world in this life, including sickness and death. There is a life beyond where there will be no more suffering, but that is not the case with life in this body.

I had a similar situation with a boyfriend 18 years ago, when he was dying from brain cancer and his sister preached the faith healing and prosperity gospel to him. He was a great man of God and had more faith than anyone I ever knew. God did heal him, yes, but it was through freedom from the constraints of a sick body.

Prayers for your mom, and prayers for your family as you work through this very difficult time.

 

[Michael]

I got to tell her a while back that she had already died with Christ crucified and was buried in his baptism and was raised a new creation and that she was sealed and not to fear death, it was through a text and she never responded to it but I wasn't meaning to scare her, it obviously didn't and I hope it gave her reassurance and comfort.
I'll get to see her tomorrow and was wondering if you all can share some comforting advice, maybe some scripture, I was reading psalms today which is such an inspiring and hope filled book that I notice my uncle nor aunt rarely mention.
I was also reading Mathew today about the angel rolling away the rock and how Jesus told Mary to rejoice when she saw him again

Amen brother. There indeed is Life beyond this life. The temporary separations we will experience can be hard, even when our faith cleaves to God's promises.
But yes, there is a hope that is unseen to our physical eyes. Yet Jesus tells us of a Resurrection to come. May your Mom and each of you remember the words of Paul as his time drew nigh -
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing." (2Tim 4:7-8)
May Christ's Peace & Hope rest upon all your family in this difficult season. God is still in control; His eye is on Eternity. He sees what is ahead for your Mom, as well as each one of us.
Blessings & Love to your family.

 

[ValleyGal]

Andrew, I'm sorry, I meant to say this in my post and forgot. Canadian Thanksgiving is Monday, Oct. 14. Since you are decorating for Thanksgiving, and if you are worried your mom won't make it till the end of November, you could always celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving with her.

 

[Andrew]

Thank you all for your advice and prayers!
My Mom is with the LORD now, she passed away this morning peacefully, we all got to say our goodbyes intimately yesterday (taking turns) and I believe it finally gave her peace to let go.

 

[psalms 91]

May your family be comforted in this time of loss and may you be surrounded by Jesus presence

 

[tango]

Thank you all for your advice and prayers!
My Mom is with the LORD now, she passed away this morning peacefully, we all got to say our goodbyes intimately yesterday (taking turns) and I believe it finally gave her peace to let go.

So sorry to hear this. When my mother passed I was thankful that my brother and I, and my father, were there with her right until the end. It didn't make her passing easy in any way, but at least for that time we were all together.

I believe that in the months and years to come you will treasure those final memories with her. It's been 8 years since my mother died and I still vividly remember a brief conversation we had a couple of days before she died. It meant (and still means) a lot to me.

 

[Michael]

Thank you all for your advice and prayers!
My Mom is with the LORD now, she passed away this morning peacefully, we all got to say our goodbyes intimately yesterday (taking turns) and I believe it finally gave her peace to let go.

"Precious in the sight of the Lord Is the death of His saints." - Psalm 116:15

So sorry for your loss, brother.
Praying Christ's peace & comfort upon all your family.
May the Hope we have in Him give you strength.

"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live." - John 11:25

 

[Albion]

Thank you all for your advice and prayers!
My Mom is with the LORD now, she passed away this morning peacefully, we all got to say our goodbyes intimately yesterday (taking turns) and I believe it finally gave her peace to let go.

Andrew, I'm terribly sorry to learn of this. While our faith is comforting, there is little in this life that eases the pain very much, I realize.

 

[Lamb]

God bless your family as they mourn.

There is a wonderful book called Mourning into Dancing by Walter Wangerin Jr that a former pastor told me about years ago and loaned his copy to me. It is about death that happens around us daily and also about the resurrections that happen daily as well.

Here is a little bit about it:

""Death doesn't wait till the ends of our lives to meet us and to make an end," says Walter Wangerin. "Instead, we die a hundred times before we die; and all the little endings on the way are like a slowly growing echo of the final BANG!" Yet out of our many losses, our "little deaths," comes a truer recognition of life. It is found in our relationships with ourselves, with our world, with others, and with our Creator. This is the dancing that can come out of mourning: the hope of restored relationships. Mourning into Dancing defines the stages of grief, names the many kinds of loss we suffer, shows how to help the grief-stricken, gives a new vision of Christ's sacrifice, and shows how a loving God shares our grief. We learn from this book that the way to dancing is through the valley of mourning--that grief is a poignant reminder of the fullness of life Christ obtained for us through his resurrection."

 

[George]

Memory eternal. My God grant you and your family peace, and know that she is in a place where there is no pain, sorrow, or suffering, but life everlasting.