Passive Aggressive comments

[Lamb]

UGH! I REALLY really really hate it when people are passive aggressive. I have a very difficult time not smarting off whenever a friend makes a passive aggressive comment...for example, "You're too busy for me." I just want to respond, "Why, yes, I'm way to busy for that junk."

Do you know a lot of people who make passive aggressive comments? How do you stop from biting their heads off? :smashfreakb:

 

[Tigger]

Is this thread intended towards me! *hands on hips* Hahahaha!

 

[Lamb]

Is this thread intended towards me! *hands on hips* Hahahaha!

I hope not or you'll have an earful! LOL

 

[Krissy Cakes]

What does passive aggressive really mean?

 

[Lamb]

Passive aggressive people tend to express the negativity they have in an indirect manner. Like saying, "Can't you take a joke?"

Here is another example:

Has your internet been down?
Oh, I thought it might be because you didn’t say anything about my last blog post.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Passive aggressive people tend to express the negativity they have in an indirect manner. Like saying, "Can't you take a joke?"

Here is another example:

Has your internet been down?
Oh, I thought it might be because you didn’t say anything about my last blog post.

Oh okay. Thank you for helping me understand better. :hug2:

 

[tango]

UGH! I REALLY really really hate it when people are passive aggressive. I have a very difficult time not smarting off whenever a friend makes a passive aggressive comment...for example, "You're too busy for me." I just want to respond, "Why, yes, I'm way to busy for that junk."

Do you know a lot of people who make passive aggressive comments? How do you stop from biting their heads off? :smashfreakb:

I seem to be exceptionally gifted at missing that sort of nuance in someone's comment, replying in a way that's sufficiently genuine nobody can complain about it yet sufficiently deflecting that the passive aggressive type just gets more annoyed at me. Which can be kinda fun, in its own way.

 

[visionary]

Passive-aggressive people are good at knowing how to push a person's buttons.

 

[MoreCoffee]

I reckon that being polite while being contentious is probably better than being rude and contentious.

 

[Lamb]

Well, instead of saying, "You are too busy for me" or "You are too busy to worry about me" I'd rather the person say, "I know you're a busy person but I'd like it if we could talk sometime." or even "I miss talking to you and would love for you to write when you have time."

I'd rather the person tell me how he/she feels. The passive aggressive comments tell me nothing about how the person feels but tries to put a guilt trip on me. I hate that.

 

[MoreCoffee]

"Passive aggressive" is psychobabble terminology. If what one means is that somebody confronts you with a polite expression of criticism of some kind then say so. If the criticism is valid then the good manners count.

 

[psalms 91]

Iwould prefer not having a backdoor type of saying I disagree

 

[Alithis]

UGH! I REALLY really really hate it when people are passive aggressive. I have a very difficult time not smarting off whenever a friend makes a passive aggressive comment...for example, "You're too busy for me." I just want to respond, "Why, yes, I'm way to busy for that junk."

Do you know a lot of people who make passive aggressive comments? How do you stop from biting their heads off? :smashfreakb:

its really annoying if they add to it by making the comment.. "as they turn passively and walk away " ,, grrr lol not only is it like sticking a little knife in the ribs ..its also running after doing it .. in some ways its a form of cowardice . they don't want to face the consequence of their comments

 

[visionary]

Persistent undermining all the while saying it is up to you.

 

[ValleyGal]

I often make passive-aggressive comments as a form of contempt. If someone is parked in a non-parking spot, I will say (just loudly enough that they probably can hear me), "I guess some people feel like they are entitled to just park where they like rather than in a spot like the rest of us." I only do it with strangers, though, not with friends or people I know. Well, maybe with our stinkie neighbour....

Anyway, passive-aggressive comments are often a form of contempt, indignation or self-righteousness. I suppose if someone were to hear me and respond, I'd like them to explain the rationale for parking where they did. So if you have to answer about a blog, maybe you could say "it sounds like you are upset that I have not read your blog yet." This way, you make the person take responsibility for their own feelings without giving in to the guilt trip they are trying to put on you. You don't have to answer to their self-pity. You do not owe them an explanation of why you didn't read it. But you can respond to their underlying issue and get them to own up to it.

Or if you want, you could go really deep and say "it sounds like you are resentful of the fact that I am too busy to read your blog as soon as it's posted." That will certainly get them to take a look at themselves, and let them know that your whole world does not revolve around them. It would be important to state this as matter of fact rather than expressing your own contempt over their passive-aggressive nature, though...

 

[Brighten04]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5znh58WITU8

 

[Alithis]

I often make passive-aggressive comments as a form of contempt. If someone is parked in a non-parking spot, I will say (just loudly enough that they probably can hear me), "I guess some people feel like they are entitled to just park where they like rather than in a spot like the rest of us." I only do it with strangers, though, not with friends or people I know. Well, maybe with our stinkie neighbour....

Anyway, passive-aggressive comments are often a form of contempt, indignation or self-righteousness. I suppose if someone were to hear me and respond, I'd like them to explain the rationale for parking where they did. So if you have to answer about a blog, maybe you could say "it sounds like you are upset that I have not read your blog yet." This way, you make the person take responsibility for their own feelings without giving in to the guilt trip they are trying to put on you. You don't have to answer to their self-pity. You do not owe them an explanation of why you didn't read it. But you can respond to their underlying issue and get them to own up to it.

Or if you want, you could go really deep and say "it sounds like you are resentful of the fact that I am too busy to read your blog as soon as it's posted." That will certainly get them to take a look at themselves, and let them know that your whole world does not revolve around them. It would be important to state this as matter of fact rather than expressing your own contempt over their passive-aggressive nature, though...

luv a good honest reply but it would be best methinks , that if your going to comment then speak straight (though polite )ie- excuse me you shouldn't park there .
its a bit of let your yes be yes . type thing .

uumm and if they pul a gun and shoot you (which these days is a real sad possibility ) that's ok too .. God is able to raise us up again

 

[ValleyGal]

luv a good honest reply but it would be best methinks , that if your going to comment then speak straight (though polite )ie- excuse me you shouldn't park there .
its a bit of let your yes be yes . type thing .

uumm and if they pul a gun and shoot you (which these days is a real sad possibility ) that's ok too .. God is able to raise us up again

Yes, I know my responses are passive-aggressive, like I said. I'm normally a pretty tactful person, so I'm sure I could say something much more tactfully, but like I said, passive-aggressiveness is a form of contempt - this is a character flaw I know I need to work on. Then again, I have a few other character flaws, too. lol. Working on them.... :sigh:

 

[Rens]

Passive aggressive people tend to express the negativity they have in an indirect manner. Like saying, "Can't you take a joke?"

Here is another example:

Has your internet been down?
Oh, I thought it might be because you didn’t say anything about my last blog post.

Oh hahahahaha I like that. I do that too. Hahaha now I understand why people sometimes don't respond.

At the office everything you say is like that, a joke with a bit of truth in it, but when you bring it as a joke it's lighter and the person gets the message. Everyone does that where I work.
Guess it's Dutch.

 

[visionary]

Pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to everything like they are the devil's advocate. It is annoying and turns a thoughtful, meaningful discussion into a feeling that one must constantly defend themselves. Not that defending themselves achieves anything with these people.

On a forum, where threads are started to share, and get insights, expressions of negativity to all postings in non productive and not helpful to learning process, insights, or reconsideration of position with alternative presentations because the passive resistance doesn't give any alternatives. The indirect expression of hostility, stubbornness, sullenness, or deliberate or repeated failure to bring anything to the threads except negativity is a big dose of wasted breath. They show purposeful inefficiency for the sake it seems to kill the life and spirit of God moving upon His people. I call it obstructionist resistance.