Do you remember? **Possible trigger**

Krissy Cakes

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Do you remember your abuse?
 

Krissy Cakes

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I don't remember as it happened at the age of 12. I think my body remembers though as sex is so very hard for me. I "freak" out every time we try and be intimate. Makes life hard. :(
 

Rens

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No I was 4 and asleep and blocked it totally. Dont remember anything. Only thing I remember is that apparently I was afraid at night so my mother wanted to comfort me and sleep with me. Didn't want to sleep alone. I remember I beat her up and then I awoke and saw it was her and said sorry I thought you were my brother, but she just left sad. They never knew what happened. After the suicide attempt the psychiater said 80 percent of borderline women commit suicide because of sexual abuse so I had to know if it had happened or not and just called my brother and asked him. No I couldnt get my *** up with 12 was the answer. Weird response. Then I knew it was only an attempt which made sense because only touching was frightening but not sex.
 

Rens

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I got over it with my second ex and fell in sin. Wish I had just staid like that. Sex only means hurt and people leave.
I asked God to heal me. He did, the fear left and then I fell in sin because my ex dumped me and didnt want anything for 3 years except once a year to get a kid. Wish I hadnt prayed that but if you're married God can heal you and its not evil.
 
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Rens

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My new friend was raped by his sister who said let's play doctor. He's don't know a decent word for that too in that regard.
 

Rens

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I used to have nightmares all the time. I was always afraid to sleep, rapists chasing me in my dreams. My ex always had to pray for me before I went to bed. Then a friend of him said: that's weird. You're not all of a sudden out of control when you sleep. Your spirit stays awake and God watches you when you sleep. He doesnt slumber or sleep. That was a real eye opener. Then the fear left and the nightmares too. Devil couldnt haunt me anymore. I got counselling and inner healing prayer in Canada for it which was weird. I saw it happening in an image God gave me. She thought I was raped because of how I acted and always dressed like a boy to protect myself. He never admitted but come on, I remember one filthy other thing he did and that response, a normal one would be: What? No of course not! I'm upset that you think about me like that. Doesnt matter. He tried to make up for it the rest of his life. I forgave him. He was just a kid watching porn. That's also child abuse if you ask me.
 

Ruth

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I remember some of the abuse and then bits and pieces and have blocked out a lot. There are different episodes at different ages in my life.
 

brinny

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which episode?
 
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