Boss who bullies you

[Jazzy]

What can you do if you have an abusive and mean boss who bullies you emotionally but won't fire you because he/she needs your job skills?

 

[Messy]

I got help from a guy from the works council. Just quitting was no option since I have kids. Else I would have simply left.

 

[Albion]

What can you do if you have an abusive and mean boss who bullies you emotionally but won't fire you because he/she needs your job skills?

That would seem to depend--as Messy indicated--on your own view of the job.

If you value it and don't want to look for another job, you probably can't do much other than put up with the boss. But if you are truly offended by the boss' behavior and can find good work elsewhere, quit without indicating that this is the reason.

 

[Stravinsk]

What can you do if you have an abusive and mean boss who bullies you emotionally but won't fire you because he/she needs your job skills?

I suppose I would look at it in terms of a person who, should I find comparable work elsewhere, would not give me a good reference and therefore treat it as such. I have such an employer listed on my resume. The amount of years I worked there can be proven, which indicates the employer could not/would not let me go for habitual incompetence or misconduct, while at the same time I listed this employer as one who would not likely give me a good reference.

If I were in your position I would start cutting expenditures in order to save money and quietly look for another job.

 

[tango]

That would seem to depend--as Messy indicated--on your own view of the job.

If you value it and don't want to look for another job, you probably can't do much other than put up with the boss. But if you are truly offended by the boss' behavior and can find good work elsewhere, quit without indicating that this is the reason.

If you can get good work elsewhere why not let it be known the boss is the problem? If enough people complain they might get fired.

 

[tango]

What can you do if you have an abusive and mean boss who bullies you emotionally but won't fire you because he/she needs your job skills?

Look for another job, and in the meantime play them at their own game. Work exactly to your contract, practise malicious compliance to the maximum extent possible and, to the extent you can, give them the impression you really don't care about what they are doing. It's a paycheck, not a social life.

 

[Albion]

If you can get good work elsewhere why not let it be known the boss is the problem? If enough people complain they might get fired.

Well, that's for several reasons.

For one, it's unlikely that the boss WILL be fired if you do that, since his manner has probably already been reported by other people or observed by management.

For another, that boss most likely will have an opportunity to retaliate by creating a critical dossier on you that can be used against you if some prospective employer in the future wants a recommendation before hiring you.

And perhaps most of all, because what you're thinking of doing is usually only good for getting yourself some satisfaction that you 'got even' with the boss, at least to some degree, before moving on. You can live without doing that.

This assumes, of course, that the boss is an unfair, egotistical, tyrant or whatever. That's what I took from the description we were given. If your question was keeping open the possibility that he or someone like this was also endangering the safety of those under his supervision or seriously violating company policy, etc, that would be different.

 

[tango]

Well, that's for several reasons.

For one, it's unlikely that the boss WILL be fired if you do that, since his manner has probably already been reported by other people or observed by management.

For another, that boss most likely will have an opportunity to retaliate by creating a critical dossier on you that can be used against you if some prospective employer in the future wants a recommendation before hiring you.

And perhaps most of all, because what you're thinking of doing is usually only good for getting yourself some satisfaction that you 'got even' with the boss, at least to some degree, before moving on. You can live without doing that.

This assumes, of course, that the boss is an unfair, egotistical, tyrant or whatever. That's what I took from the description we were given. If your question was keeping open the possibility that he or someone like this was also endangering the safety of those under his supervision or seriously violating company policy, etc, that would be different.

Personally I'd counter those on a number of bases.

If you're a good employee then a single boss saying you aren't is more likely to represent a conflict of personalities or a bad boss than anything about you as a worker.

If a boss causes a lot of good people to leave there is a chance they will be fired. And if everybody simply keeps their head down and decides not to say anything then it's more likely that bad behavior from a boss will go unhandled.

Getting even with someone can bring some satisfaction but that's not the only reason for wanting a bad boss to be removed. There's also something to be said for removing a bad boss so they can't cause more problems for other people in the future.

As you say, if the boss is doing things that break laws or endanger safety it's more serious still. That said a tyrannical boss can cause serious mental health issues that plague people for years even if they can't be directly seen.

 

[Albion]

Personally I'd counter those on a number of bases.

If you're a good employee then a single boss saying you aren't is more likely to represent a conflict of personalities or a bad boss than anything about you as a worker.

Could be, but why take the risk that it will go the other way?

After all, the boss is more than likely to be an employee of longer standing and one that is in a position where supervising people under him is part of his job.

If a boss causes a lot of good people to leave there is a chance they will be fired.

There was nothing said about the boss having caused "a lot of good people to leave."

And if everybody simply keeps their head down and decides not to say anything then it's more likely that bad behavior from a boss will go unhandled.

You are assuming once again. Nothing was said about the boss' behavior or attitude towards anyone other than the one individual being asked "what would you do?" So, you or me or someone else on the forum.
.

As you say, if the boss is doing things that break laws or endanger safety it's more serious still. That said a tyrannical boss can cause serious mental health issues that plague people for years even if they can't be directly seen.

But I don't find anything in the OP that even hints at that situation.

 

[Lees]

What can you do if you have an abusive and mean boss who bullies you emotionally but won't fire you because he/she needs your job skills?

This may sound very over simplified, but pray about it. I have been in these situations with both the head boss or a foreman I was under. And it makes life hell.

I was in a position where I couldn't quit. And I prayed hard every morning before going to work. And many times I saw God work miraculously to deliver me out of certain situations that had been set up for my failure.

So, I endured, and God would always deliver me. But the antagonism was always there. And after a certain tme, it was time to go. I remember praying to God one morning,'God, even your martyrs get to die'. So I left and it was difficult, but always for the better.

These kind of situations are why Unions are important. If your in a Union you would have a representative to address your grievances to.

Lees

 

[tango]

Could be, but why take the risk that it will go the other way?

After all, the boss is more than likely to be an employee of longer standing and one that is in a position where supervising people under him is part of his job.

It's a personal decision. The question was "what can you do...". Not "take endless speculations what someone else might think is the right thing to do".

There was nothing said about the boss having caused "a lot of good people to leave."

Equally nothing was said about anything else either. If a boss is bullying towards one person there's a fair chance they either have done it before, or will do it again, or both.

You are assuming once again. Nothing was said about the boss' behavior or attitude towards anyone other than the one individual being asked "what would you do?" So, you or me or someone else on the forum.

For someone who complains I pick arguments for the sake of it your posts are really rather tedious.
.

But I don't find anything in the OP that even hints at that situation.

Please accept my sincere apologies for thinking about real life situations rather than confining everything to the exact wording used

Don't bother replying, I've grown sufficiently bored of your posts that you can join my ignore list.

 

[Messy]

Could be, but why take the risk that it will go the other way?

After all, the boss is more than likely to be an employee of longer standing and one that is in a position where supervising people under him is part of his job.


There was nothing said about the boss having caused "a lot of good people to leave."


You are assuming once again. Nothing was said about the boss' behavior or attitude towards anyone other than the one individual being asked "what would you do?" So, you or me or someone else on the forum.
.

But I don't find anything in the OP that even hints at that situation.

I just let it go, cause I thought that he was only bothering me, but when I heard others got a burnout or stayed home sick because of his micromanaging I decided to join some others to get rid of him.

 

[Albion]

For someone who complains I pick arguments for the sake of it your posts are really rather tedious.

"Tedious" because I didn't fall for you changing the topic of the thread?

I recognize the aim of that gimmick, you should know by now. It's done mainly in order to see if you can get a rise out of some other member, in this case me.

.Please accept my sincere apologies for thinking about real life situations rather than confining everything to the exact wording used.

Nope. And that's because you didn't simply stray from "the exact wording used." Instead, you ignored the issue as it had been presented to the readers for their comments and posted your thoughts on different facts of your own choosing. And all I did was attempt to return to the subject put to the readers by the Original Post..

If any reader finds some topic here to be disinteresting, the right thing for him to do is pass over that thread and look for a different one.

 

[Albion]

I just let it go, cause I thought that he was only bothering me, but when I heard others got a burnout or stayed home sick because of his micromanaging I decided to join some others to get rid of him.

All those factors really do need to be carefully considered, I agree.