Borderline Personality Disorder - Journal

[Krissy Cakes]

Being married and having borderline personality disorder is super HARD. There are days where I just want to give up and let Jordan go. (for his sake) But then he reminds me he loves me so much but he knew about my problems before we got married and he STILL wanted to married me. What a guy!!

 

[MoreCoffee]

Being married and having borderline personality disorder is super HARD. There are days where I just want to give up and let Jordan go. (for his sake) But then he reminds me he loves me so much but he knew about my problems before we got married and he STILL wanted to married me. What a guy!!

May the Lord take your anxieties and sufferings and use them for the saving of souls and the comfort of all the faithful who are in need of help with their own anxiety and their own suffering.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

May the Lord take your anxieties and sufferings and use them for the saving of souls and the comfort of all the faithful who are in need of help with their own anxiety and their own suffering.

Thank you :hug2:

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Having BPD, I also have PTSD from past abuse. Nights are SUPER hard for me. If I stay up super late things usual go wrong. I "freak" out. I think horrible thoughts and cry a lot. So Jordan has been trying to get me to go to bed before the sun goes down. Well I took a 3 hours nap today so I'm not that tired. I feel like such a failure as a wife. I have so many problems that I can't do much. I don't drive. Also we don't have a sex life. ( ) As I "freak" out cause of my past abuse. Sometimes he understands but other times I know it hurts him. Another reason I feel like a failure of a wife. :banghead:

 

[Rens]

Having BPD, I also have PTSD from past abuse. Nights are SUPER hard for me. If I stay up super late things usual go wrong. I "freak" out. I think horrible thoughts and cry a lot. So Jordan has been trying to get me to go to bed before the sun goes down. Well I took a 3 hours nap today so I'm not that tired. I feel like such a failure as a wife. I have so many problems that I can't do much. I don't drive. Also we don't have a sex life. ( ) As I "freak" out cause of my past abuse. Sometimes he understands but other times I know it hurts him. Another reason I feel like a failure of a wife. :banghead:

God can fix it all. Don't blame yourself. Did you ever get counselling and inner healing? My ex would get a slam as an automatic reaction if he tried to touch me. Poor thing.

 

[Rens]

They said I had a mild form. Someone abused me as a kid. First years of my marriage it was physically impossible to have sex. We went to a marriage retreat from Larry Stockstill in Baton Rouge and she prayed for women who were abused and had problems with it just for the group, put your hand in the air and all of a sudden that was normal.

 

[Rens]

On cf a guy Always preached, Gideons, he had been a porn addict for years and then he gave up and met God who said He was well pleased that he now saw that he couldn't do it, he had to confess that he died and raised with Christ and was a new nature and all of a sudden he was set free. I was living in sin then, he warned me and I thought: hey if that works with him, I'm gonna do that too although I didn't immediately see a change in my behaviour, I kept confessing that I was a new creation and died with Christ and He lives in me. Stopped sinning, repented and I had to forgive people and He just healed me and a woman in church who had 5 mental diseases, bipolar and the rest I don't know what she had, she saw the change in me and got faith and I told her and she did the same, also got a lot of prayer in church, she went back to the psychiater and didn't have to come anymore. He said you're a healthy woman. People on cf hated him, because of how he preached, but that and prayer in church, just knowing who you are in Christ, really helped me.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

God can fix it all. Don't blame yourself. Did you ever get counselling and inner healing? My ex would get a slam as an automatic reaction if he tried to touch me. Poor thing.

Its hard not to blame myself. I feel like everything is my fault. I am going to counseling tho.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

They said I had a mild form. Someone abused me as a kid. First years of my marriage it was physically impossible to have sex. We went to a marriage retreat from Larry Stockstill in Baton Rouge and she prayed for women who were abused and had problems with it just for the group, put your hand in the air and all of a sudden that was normal.

I've been praying for years. I also have been praying for me and still nothing.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

On cf a guy Always preached, Gideons, he had been a porn addict for years and then he gave up and met God who said He was well pleased that he now saw that he couldn't do it, he had to confess that he died and raised with Christ and was a new nature and all of a sudden he was set free. I was living in sin then, he warned me and I thought: hey if that works with him, I'm gonna do that too although I didn't immediately see a change in my behaviour, I kept confessing that I was a new creation and died with Christ and He lives in me. Stopped sinning, repented and I had to forgive people and He just healed me and a woman in church who had 5 mental diseases, bipolar and the rest I don't know what she had, she saw the change in me and got faith and I told her and she did the same, also got a lot of prayer in church, she went back to the psychiater and didn't have to come anymore. He said you're a healthy woman. People on cf hated him, because of how he preached, but that and prayer in church, just knowing who you are in Christ, really helped me.

That guys seems awesome

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Today I went to see my psychiatrist. She upped my sleeping meds a little. I see her again next month and then we will see about change my anxiety meds as its just getting worse.