I'm concerned about my wife. We entered into a debate because she is considering working on Sundays. As part of her job search, she is open to applying for jobs that include working on Sundays. I have explained to her that I don't think it is a good idea because it would be good for us to both rest in the Lord on that day after a busy week of work. I also explained how it would feel to go to church on my own without her. My exact words were, "It would mean a lot to me for us to attend church together because doing that will show others at church that you and I are united. It will show that we are one in Christ, just as we became at our wedding. It sets an example to others. In attending together, we will shine the light of Christ forth to the other members of the church."
What is distressing is that she doesn't agree with this. Just because we are facing a few problems in our marriage, she thinks that going to church together will be "pretending to be united". I say that we are already united in Christ because we are married. We might be experiencing a few problems, but I think that gives even more weight to going to church together. I believe that not attending church together will make our problems even worse because we will be spiritually misaligned.
She seems stuck in stone, immovable in her opinion. She can't see how important it is to go to church together, and this is worrying. It is also worrying that she is willing to prioritise work and make God fit around it, rather than make work fit with God. After all, we should give God all of the glory.
What should I do?
It seems you have a few things going on here and some of them are more about coming to an agreement with your wife than us giving you a list of Things You Should Do.
A few things I noticed in what you said.
Firstly, going to church to "show others.... that (you) are united". It's good to go to church, without a doubt. But are you going to church to spend time with God or to put on a show for other people? Your unity doesn't depend on whether you go to church. You can "shine the light" even if you aren't attending together. It's one thing if you aren't doing stuff together because your marriage is on the rocks but doing stuff separately because you have different schedules doesn't necessarily mean you can't shine lights. There are times my wife goes to church and I go for a walk in the woods. People at church know me, they know sometimes I need to be in the mountains and the woods, and it's affectionately referred to as me doing church in the mountains.
Your second paragraph mentions problems in your marriage, which leaves me wondering even more whether this "showing we are united" is more of an act than anything useful. Without knowing what the problems are (and don't feel you need to share on a public forum if you'd rather not) it's hard to comment much about that. I'm not sure that not attending church together will result in you becoming "spiritually misaligned" if you are spending quality time together. If you aren't spending quality time together then an hour every week putting on a show won't help your spiritual alignment.
You commented that "she seems... immovable in her opinion". Are you any less immovable? Have you considered what, if any, merits her arguments might hold?
Does your church offer services at other times? Could you attend on Sunday evenings, or Wednesday evenings, or some other time? For a long time I attended church on a Sunday evening. I didn't work on Sundays but was usually tired after the week and wanted the chance to lie in. So I went to the evening service and slept late in the morning.
I think a few other points you made seem to be a kind of spiritual jargon to try and bolster your side of things. Yes, you should give God the glory but how that relates to the issue at hand isn't clear. Over the years I've known people who worked different shifts that sometimes included Sundays but who took a different day off during the week. A friend of mine works in a grocery store and sometimes has to work Sundays. On those days her husband comes to church without her. Nobody thinks less of her, or of them. They have bills to pay just as everyone else does.
If a job requires you to work every Sunday, perhaps you can attend a Bible study with a small group. What matters is the meeting together with others, rather than the being in a specific building. If you don't have an announcement time and six hymns during your small group's meeting, does that matter? If anything a small group allows people to be a lot more real than a church service on a Sunday because you develop a closer sense of fellowship and trust.
Consider are whether you need her to be working to pay bills or if she wants to work for a sense of self-worth. If you're a hedge fund manager and she feels she Should Be Doing Something and ends up mopping the floor at McDonalds every Sunday, maybe she doesn't need the job as badly as she thinks and could find something else to do. On the other hand if you're six months behind on your mortgage and are getting the letters threatening repossession, perhaps it's better to take the job that will make the problem go away and reassess later.
