When Christians are bullies...

[Lamb]

Back in my old town there is some huge drama going on over a bar sign and the owner who is mouthy and writes atrocious things. I see some of my Facebook friends responding to her but they're coming across as bullies. I wrote in my status about it and said that bullying the bully is not the way to go about this.

What kinds of things can we say to Christians to let them know when they're the ones who are the bullies?

 

[Stravinsk]

The description you've given is a little vague and although I think there's probably a suitable response to the bully - it's hard to give what you're asking for - a one-size-fits-all answer that will fit in every situation.

 

[Lamb]

I'm not asking what to say in my specific situation. Just in general. How do you let other Christians know that they're being bullies and what do you say to them in general to get them to change?

 

[Tigger]

Yeah I have a cousin on FB that criticizes Christians constantly. I try not to start a family feud but I'll reply back on occasions with 'that's funny why only Christians? Isn't it as wrong to make blanket statements about Muslims too?' But he won't typically respond back but will sometime later post anti-Chrisitan comments again. Or I'll turn it around and say I've met persons within his people group that were real jerks, should I make blanket statements about all the people within that people group? Again he has no reply but will sooner or later still post those things again.

 

[Stravinsk]

I'm not asking what to say in my specific situation. Just in general. How do you let other Christians know that they're being bullies and what do you say to them in general to get them to change?

Again, a general response is a one-size-fits-all and probably not suited.

But I don't think the question is suited either. It's not in my power to change someone's behavior - all I can do is to say to them how I see things and leave it with them. If the view or views have merit in their eyes, then it's up to them to change. Coercion is rarely effective in the longer term.

 

[Rens]

I'm not asking what to say in my specific situation. Just in general. How do you let other Christians know that they're being bullies and what do you say to them in general to get them to change?

Throw Bible texts in their face, hit them with the Word. Just kidding, I guess just don't mix in a quarrel that's none of your business or make a sarcastic joke which they most of the time don't get.

 

[tango]

I'm not asking what to say in my specific situation. Just in general. How do you let other Christians know that they're being bullies and what do you say to them in general to get them to change?

If the bar owner isn't a Christian an obvious question to ask is why they think it's their place to judge those outside the church. As a friend of mine often says, lost people are going to act like lost people.

Another comment that's also very generic but may work here as well as anywhere else is that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

 

[MoreCoffee]

Back in my old town there is some huge drama going on over a bar sign and the owner who is mouthy and writes atrocious things. I see some of my Facebook friends responding to her but they're coming across as bullies. I wrote in my status about it and said that bullying the bully is not the way to go about this.

What kinds of things can we say to Christians to let them know when they're the ones who are the bullies?

IN the debates Hillary Clinton came off looking worst when she responded directly to Donald Trump's bullying remarks. I think that same may be true about the bar owner you've mentioned. The holy scriptures advise "You have heard that it was said: "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." But I say to you, do not resist one who is evil, but if anyone will have struck you on your right cheek, offer to him the other also. And anyone who wishes to contend with you in judgment, and to take away your tunic, release to him your cloak also. And whoever will have compelled you for one thousand steps, go with him even for two thousand steps. Whoever asks of you, give to him. And if anyone would borrow from you, do not turn away from him. You have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor, and you shall have hatred for your enemy." But I say to you: Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. And pray for those who persecute and slander you. In this way, you shall be sons of your Father, who is in heaven. He causes his sun to rise upon the good and the bad, and he causes it to rain upon the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Do not even tax collectors behave this way? And if you greet only your brothers, what more have you done? Do not even the pagans behave this way? Therefore, be perfect, even as your heavenly Father is perfect." [Matthew 5:38-48]

 

[Josiah]

Jerks exist in every group.

SOMETIMES, jerks - by their nature - cannot be counseled to be less, well, jerks. But I'm an optimist by nature..... I think that SOMETIMES.... loving, humble, helpful, personal, private counsel can help. Maybe. Sometimes. Has sometimes when people have pointed out when I'm a jerk. And I'm sure sometimes hasn't.



- Josiah

 

[MoreCoffee]

Religion can make some people become jerks for a while.

 

[psalms 91]

If they get to pushy remind them of their favorite sin, be it greed or gluttony or lying, or the best one judging while they have a beam in their own eye

 

[MoreCoffee]

If they get to pushy remind them of their favorite sin, be it greed or gluttony or lying, or the best one judging while they have a beam in their own eye

Some folk think that having words in the bible that condemn somebody else makes them safe.

 

[psalms 91]

makes them feel better, and safer for if they are concentrated on someone else then I dont have to concentrate on myself, somehow I think God takes a dim view

 

[MoreCoffee]

makes them feel better, and safer for if they are concentrated on someone else then I dont have to concentrate on myself, somehow I think God takes a dim view

I was thinking that somehow the book makes them feel safe when they treat somebody else badly - as if a rule or law or condemnation in the book makes their nastiness into holiness.

 

[Joy]

Christians often bully based out of fear, or pride... it happens a lot in my experience, and most do it thinking they have some higher standing in the knowledge of God and therefore feel a need to put others "in their place." It happens a lot on forums, too...

 

[Rens]

Christians often bully based out of fear, or pride... it happens a lot in my experience, and most do it thinking they have some higher standing in the knowledge of God and therefore feel a need to put others "in their place." It happens a lot on forums, too...

I've only seen it happen on forums. Never saw it happen in church or irl.