I'll pray for you

[Lamb]

Sometimes that phrase "I'll pray for you" comes across as insincere.

Do you appreciate it when someone says they'll pray for you or do you get annoyed by it?

 

[psalms 91]

I appreciate it because I do pray for people and know that prayer does work

 

[TubbyTubby]

It's not something that I hear very much round here but it all depends on the situation. All my friends know my stance on gods and prayer so even the religious amongst them refrain from praying for me (at least to my face).

If it was someone that doesn't know me too well who passed an innocent comment about praying for me then I would let it go. If, however, we became more acquainted and the prayers continued then I would politely ask them to stop. If someone is aware of my atheism and continues to pray for me after asking not to then it would be taken as an insult and I would make my feelings known to them. After that it's their choice whether they want to terminate our friendship or not.

 

[Lamb]

Have you ever, after an argument with a Christian, heard him say "I'll pray for you" as if you have little value in the conversation and he was above you? I have. I roll my eyes at them because I know they were condescending.

 

[MarkFL]

As an atheist, living in a predominantly theistic society, I take no offense whatsoever if someone, upon hearing about some hardship I may be experiencing, says to me, "I'll pray for you." I take this as a sincere expression of empathy and good will towards me. It's part of common parlance here, and is for the most part said with no ill will intended.

However, if someone I am not close to says they will pray for me solely because of my atheism, then I might see that as a goading comment (of course depending on the situation).

 

[TubbyTubby]

Have you ever, after an argument with a Christian, heard him say "I'll pray for you" as if you have little value in the conversation and he was above you? I have. I roll my eyes at them because I know they were condescending.

I've not been in that situation but if it did happen then I would respond according to our relationship. If I felt it was condescending then I have a choice of confronting, pretending I didnt hear or walk away. Depends on who it is (how it's delivered) and what I think the impact of my response on the person in question would have.

 

[tango]

However, if someone I am not close to says they will pray for me solely because of my atheism, then I might see that as a goading comment (of course depending on the situation).

That reminds me, I was going to pray for you about that

 

[tango]

Sometimes that phrase "I'll pray for you" comes across as insincere.

Do you appreciate it when someone says they'll pray for you or do you get annoyed by it?

I guess it would depend on the context.

When a family member was critically ill some years ago I appreciated friends praying for them (and for me!), but there are also times when "I'll pray for you" sounds like little more than "I can't think of what else to say so I'll say something kinda-sorta-spiritual". Then there are the times when people pray as an alternative to doing something useful, in keeping with what James said about telling a cold and hungry man to "be warm, be filled".

A while back I knew a lady who prayed about all sorts of things. When her windshield washers froze she didn't put more antifreeze in her car, she prayed about it. And then, lo and behold, the following day (when it was warmer) they worked again.

 

[MarkFL]

That reminds me, I was going to pray for you about that

 

[psalms 91]

lol

 

[Stravinsk]

Sometimes that phrase "I'll pray for you" comes across as insincere.

Do you appreciate it when someone says they'll pray for you or do you get annoyed by it?

Have you ever, after an argument with a Christian, heard him say "I'll pray for you" as if you have little value in the conversation and he was above you? I have. I roll my eyes at them because I know they were condescending.

Mmm. I am acquainted with the "I'll pray for you" after a strong disagreement, heated discussion or mild to strong contempt.

In such contexts of course I suspect that the whole point of it being said is to verbally illustrate one's desire to get the last word - and do so with that "spiritual flair" - or otherwise to announce good will as if it needed to be announced with trumpets.

What I would wonder in these contexts is - if indeed the person has actually prayed *for me* - how *sincere* were they about the part of the prayer that says "thy will be done"?

You can see good will and good intentions in people's eyes and expressions. There's actually no need to announce the intention for prayer at all. Just do it in private (you know, behind a closed door).



If, on the other hand the statement is made in empathy or compassion - then I would accept it graciously, without assuming that the prayer is going to be answered to the petitioner's measure or expectation.

 

[psalms 91]

I do pray for people all the time and dont feel the need to tell them unless they ask for prayer

 

[TubbyTubby]

The whole prayer thing just seems so ridiculous to me. Let's say two people go to interview for the same job and both are devout Christians who don't know each other. Both ask friends and family to pray to god that they get the job because it will change their life immeasurably.

One gets the job - god answered our prayers - praise God- god is great.

The other candidate fails, shuffles home in misery.

This is not hypothetical, it happens all the time. How does god make the choice as to who gets the job? Number of people praying? The "type" of Christian he is? Has he already decided who deserved the job regardless of prayer (no need to pray to him)? What if his family prayed to another god? Does that make the winning candidates god the true god?

In a world of multiple gods, none of which seem able to do anything of real substance, you have to critically ask yourself what a "prayer" really is. It's nothing more than a self comforting activity in lieu of doing something useful (or admitting that you can't actually alter the outcome).

 

[Lamb]

We don't pray to impose our will upon God. We pray in hopes that what we're praying for is in line with God's will and His plan for us.

 

[psalms 91]

The whole prayer thing just seems so ridiculous to me. Let's say two people go to interview for the same job and both are devout Christians who don't know each other. Both ask friends and family to pray to god that they get the job because it will change their life immeasurably.

One gets the job - god answered our prayers - praise God- god is great.

The other candidate fails, shuffles home in misery.

This is not hypothetical, it happens all the time. How does god make the choice as to who gets the job? Number of people praying? The "type" of Christian he is? Has he already decided who deserved the job regardless of prayer (no need to pray to him)? What if his family prayed to another god? Does that make the winning candidates god the true god?

In a world of multiple gods, none of which seem able to do anything of real substance, you have to critically ask yourself what a "prayer" really is. It's nothing more than a self comforting activity in lieu of doing something useful (or admitting that you can't actually alter the outcome).

It all comes down to praying in line with Gods will which we are supposed to be moving in but of course many dont recofnize it which leads to unanswered prayer. We can only be confident in our prayers when we know it is in line with His will

 

[MarkFL]

My youngest sister (such a sweetheart) is a devout and active Christian, and I once asked her why pray...I reasoned that (given the presuppositions of Christianity), that God has a plan. He knows the future, so it is predetermined. So you praying isn't going to make God change His plan, because it is set already.

Her reply was that she prays not to beseech God to change His plan and shuffle things around to her benefit, but rather to be given the wisdom to understand His plan, and to be given the tools to cope with His plan when it doesn't include things always going her way.

 

[Rens]

My youngest sister (such a sweetheart) is a devout and active Christian, and I once asked her why pray...I reasoned that (given the presuppositions of Christianity), that God has a plan. He knows the future, so it is predetermined. So you praying isn't going to make God change His plan, because it is set already.

Her reply was that she prays not to beseech God to change His plan and shuffle things around to her benefit, but rather to be given the wisdom to understand His plan, and to be given the tools to cope with His plan when it doesn't include things always going her way.

Oh, when I pray it sounds like I trie to twist God's arm.