As He said "wisdom is proven by her actions"
This is actually the 3rd step in Trivium. An ancient way of thinking for deciphering true from false, and a tool to make the changes one wants in one's life.
And I know some changes that I want to make. But I am not taking action. I've been so lazy lately. When things build up, it seems like such a mountainous task.
It sort of works in reverse, too. My laziness and letting myself wander rather aimlessly seeking after various little interests and projects reduces my consciousness of the larger things I need to be doing and thinking about.
And right now my heart is aching too. I know I'm INTJ and I can go for very very long periods without much human contact. I immerse myself in puzzles and mysteries, my music and my art. Sometimes it is almost pure intellect, often it's a combination of emotion and intellect. I started a Mass after C died. I worked on it for a long time, and then I abandoned it. I felt like my heart was going to explode in pain. I don't know if I can finish it. I'm not sure I want to.
-shift- At least that lady has stopped coming into my workplace to speak her religious nonsense to me. My gosh....I had ONE phone conversation...what is it now...10 or 11 years ago and yeah - it was good to open up and be completely honest about things I was going through but I've made it clear I'm not interested in doing that - with her - anymore. I don't want to know about her prayers for me. Stop praying for me - because you aren't praying for me - inside those prayers is some sort of hope that should have died long ago when I raised my wall. Not - interested. You are not attractive to me, not physically, not spiritually and not intellectually. I'm sorry - please stay away.
-shift- I saw someone's photo today (not actually their photo but in place of their photo) that reminded me of someone at the other board. It was funny, I think it was meant to be, and I laughed. Well done, person who has unblocked me for the moment, lol. I think even he would laugh at that. I have him blocked at the moment. I got a little spooked when he started changing his married status to "widow/widower" and drastically changed his timeline after he came across my profile.
- DG must be wondering who I am. I liked a bunch of her photos and now she's on my list of people I might know. Except I doubt she knows anyone in Aussie land and the last I spoke with her was High School. People don't show up to that list unless they actually visit your profile. I know because I commented to a former friend on his, and although he replied, he never showed up on mine. That was weird. I was friends with that person in like 4th grade. Earlier, actually. I remember a lemonade stand and torching some GI Joe army stuff. I remember we both liked the same girl that lived down the street.
Anyway, don't think DG will figure it. She's like 7th on the list and I know a little about the algorithm. Lots of factors, even a semi-random bit, but one of those factors is proximity. Why should I know this person and why should I like some of their photos? We are an ocean apart.
Thinking about the whole hidden thing. People call you a troll. But how many people are actually honest about who they are and what they think using a real name and photo? Some are. And some, one wonders WHO they are exactly, because I wouldn't have the foggiest. One young lady from Europe, who is a friend of a friend is near the top every time I look. She's a model. Good looking, of course, and nearly every photo she posts gets hundreds of views and likes within hours. She's got a few regular lap dogs that are always squeezing out hearts and "I love yous" in the comments that she allows. But, that's really all I know. That and she likes some shallow music. People like her could post anything - their filing cabinet - and a bunch of horny hopeful males would like it and throw praises at her great choice in office furniture hoping to get laid someday, lol. I don't plan on liking any of her photos. She happens to be one of the ones I can actually do that with. Maybe if she took the time out of her photo shoots and posted something interesting about a book she was reading, maybe I'd like that. Oh Strav...give her a break. She's a model, for goodness sake. She doesn't need to read...lol...stop.
shift..I've been up a long time again. When I was rolling a cig I kept seeing flashes of light to my left after I looked down. Tomorrow will be a productive day though. I need to do quite a few things - including some long over due chores.