The law of attraction

[Jazzy]

What is the law of attraction in simple terms?

The law of attraction is a universal principle that states you will attract into your life whatever you focus on. Whatever you give your energy and attention to is what will come back to you. When you focus on the abundance of good things in your life, you will automatically attract more positive things into your life.

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Do you believe the law of attraction? (Why or Why Not)

 

[Lamb]

I don't believe in that stuff. I can work hard to try to get what I want, but it doesn't always happen just because I want it.

 

[tango]

What is the law of attraction in simple terms?

The law of attraction is a universal principle that states you will attract into your life whatever you focus on. Whatever you give your energy and attention to is what will come back to you. When you focus on the abundance of good things in your life, you will automatically attract more positive things into your life.

---

Do you believe the law of attraction? (Why or Why Not)

The law of attraction seems to be based on an idea that is arguably true up to a point and then tries to turn it into a universal truth, breaking just about everything in the process.

To an extent it's true that we experience what we expect. If we go through life assuming everyone else is out to get us we'll see signs that confirm what we believe. If we go through life assuming most if not all people are friendly the exact same experiences will still confirm what we believe.

The person who puts themself "out there" expecting good things is more likely to "attract" or achieve those good things than an identically skilled person who doesn't bother putting themself "out there" because they figure there's no point.

The trouble is this sort of thing only goes so far. Often things are little more than a numbers game. The person who mails out 100 resumes is more likely to get hired than an identically qualified person who mails out 10. The person who walks through a dark alley in a bad part of town 100 times is more likely to get mugged than if they walked through it 10 times.

The law of attraction is a great tool for victim blaming. No money? You're obviously not attracting the right things into your life. Treated badly at work? You're obviously responsible for it. And it doesn't even stop there - if you're a victim of a violent beating and sexual assault you obviously attracted that into your own life as well.

 

[ValleyGal]

I do not believe in the law of attraction. If it were true, then my husbands would have kept their vow to love me until death do we part. Instead, one accused me of being unfaithful and would not believe that our son was actually his and we divorced primarily because of that. One told me (the day after we married) that I had to sell my house and my car and pay off his race car debt, then threatened to sue me when I refused. He broke all the windows in my house and told me he was going to sell everything in it to pay off his debt. The judge granted divorce after 3 weeks. One beat me three times in the week before and the two weeks after the wedding, and on the wedding night admitted he had a porn addiction. Judge granted a divorce after a month. And the last one, well, I'm not at liberty to talk about that one here because some of you know him, but suffice it to say, I should have left after two years instead of about eight. Meanwhile, I kept my vows to each of them. If I put that kind of goodness out there, you'd think I'd get that kind of goodness back, except I'm thinking the world is so full of nasty people who can't be bothered to show respect or keep their word, that I might as well just join them rather than get wrecked by them.

 

[Lees]

I don't believe in any 'law of attraction'. But, I do believe in God.

And I have often said, to God, I could never put my children through what you put me and other believers through. I couldn't do it. But He does it.

How could He give His Son to such a cruel death? And it was always His plan.

Whatever He puts His children through, it is for our good and benefit...no matter how terrible it may seem.

Lees

 

[Messy]

I do not believe in the law of attraction. If it were true, then my husbands would have kept their vow to love me until death do we part. Instead, one accused me of being unfaithful and would not believe that our son was actually his and we divorced primarily because of that. One told me (the day after we married) that I had to sell my house and my car and pay off his race car debt, then threatened to sue me when I refused. He broke all the windows in my house and told me he was going to sell everything in it to pay off his debt. The judge granted divorce after 3 weeks. One beat me three times in the week before and the two weeks after the wedding, and on the wedding night admitted he had a porn addiction. Judge granted a divorce after a month. And the last one, well, I'm not at liberty to talk about that one here because some of you know him, but suffice it to say, I should have left after two years instead of about eight. Meanwhile, I kept my vows to each of them. If I put that kind of goodness out there, you'd think I'd get that kind of goodness back, except I'm thinking the world is so full of nasty people who can't be bothered to show respect or keep their word, that I might as well just join them rather than get wrecked by them.

My goodness. That's horrible. After 2 divorces I was jealous of my brother, who had always been so smart to stay single. The only type of women he attracts are shark bays, so he noped out of that.

 

[ValleyGal]

I don't believe in any 'law of attraction'. But, I do believe in God.

And I have often said, to God, I could never put my children through what you put me and other believers through. I couldn't do it. But He does it.

How could He give His Son to such a cruel death? And it was always His plan.

Whatever He puts His children through, it is for our good and benefit...no matter how terrible it may seem.

Lees

I'm not so sure God is to blame for much of what we go through. I got sucked in by charm and made some really bad choices because of it.

 

[Lees]

I'm not so sure God is to blame for much of what we go through. I got sucked in by charm and made some really bad choices because of it.

It certainly goes back to ones view of the sovereignty of God.

We live in an evil world....but why? Didn't God know? We make good and bad decisions, but we have no control over the situations that occur which cause us to make those decisions. But we do live out the results of our decisions.

I use the word 'blame' against God, usually when I am going through those times. Sort of like Adam when he blamed Eve. (Gen. 3:12) And, I say, cautiously, and respectfully, did not Jesus Christ succomb to a form of 'blame' on the Cross when He asked the Father "Why hast thou forsaken me"?

I guess, I am saying that I don't blame God, but I recognize God has all authority and power over all things. And as a Christian, nothing comes into my life but what He has power and authority over. Some may say He 'allows' it. But then, what is the difference?

In other words, God did give Eve to Adam. God did put the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden. God did let the Serpent in the Garden. Didn't He know? I say, of course He did.

Lees

 

[ValleyGal]

but we have no control over the situations that occur which cause us to make those decisions.

Don't we? I could have recognized what was happening and said no. In fact, not long after agreeing to marry the one who beat me, he became very angry with one of his sons and got right in his face, pointing a finger. Later on I actually asked one of the kids if he had ever been abusive to them or their mom. They said no. Obviously my intuition was at work there, but I still agreed to marry him. Even after he "accidentally" broke my hand before the wedding (my left ring finger was in a cast on the wedding day - shouldn't that have been a sign?) I still agreed to marry him. Had I listened to my intuition, I would have said no. I had some control.

I have no control over who my parents are, my geographic location of birth, or how my parents treated me as my intrapersonal and interpersonal dynamics were forming, but certainly there is an age where I can't blame them anymore for the decisions I make. I can choose to become aware of why I do things the way I do, then deliberately make efforts to change them. We are not powerless.

I think this also speaks to boundaries. I will take full responsibility for having taken a physical assault (his responsibility because there is never an excuse, no matter what, to harm another person) and marrying him anyway. Can we blame God for my own decisions? Can we blame God because people harm or kill other people? If I did blame him for all the evils in the world, my heart would be hardened towards him, and I will not allow that to happen.

My firm belief is that we are created in God's image. What is he like? He has feelings, he has power, he can make decisions, he has autonomy, he has a will, he is relational, etc. I believe we also have those things. Unfortunately because we have a will and we are not God, who is holy and righteous, we are naturally inclined to choose that which is unholy and unrighteous. He knew all this when he created us, he created us anyway, and there are those of us who choose to at the very least, choose to be seen as holy through the Lord Jesus.

I should have listened to my intuition about my exes. I didn't. I corrected it as soon as I figured it out. I take responsibility and will not blame God. And because of it, I pay the consequences because it is much, much harder to find a partner when I have four divorces (two of which were less than a month) under my belt.

 

[Lees]

Don't we? I could have recognized what was happening and said no. In fact, not long after agreeing to marry the one who beat me, he became very angry with one of his sons and got right in his face, pointing a finger. Later on I actually asked one of the kids if he had ever been abusive to them or their mom. They said no. Obviously my intuition was at work there, but I still agreed to marry him. Even after he "accidentally" broke my hand before the wedding (my left ring finger was in a cast on the wedding day - shouldn't that have been a sign?) I still agreed to marry him. Had I listened to my intuition, I would have said no. I had some control.

I have no control over who my parents are, my geographic location of birth, or how my parents treated me as my intrapersonal and interpersonal dynamics were forming, but certainly there is an age where I can't blame them anymore for the decisions I make. I can choose to become aware of why I do things the way I do, then deliberately make efforts to change them. We are not powerless.

I think this also speaks to boundaries. I will take full responsibility for having taken a physical assault (his responsibility because there is never an excuse, no matter what, to harm another person) and marrying him anyway. Can we blame God for my own decisions? Can we blame God because people harm or kill other people? If I did blame him for all the evils in the world, my heart would be hardened towards him, and I will not allow that to happen.

My firm belief is that we are created in God's image. What is he like? He has feelings, he has power, he can make decisions, he has autonomy, he has a will, he is relational, etc. I believe we also have those things. Unfortunately because we have a will and we are not God, who is holy and righteous, we are naturally inclined to choose that which is unholy and unrighteous. He knew all this when he created us, he created us anyway, and there are those of us who choose to at the very least, choose to be seen as holy through the Lord Jesus.

I should have listened to my intuition about my exes. I didn't. I corrected it as soon as I figured it out. I take responsibility and will not blame God. And because of it, I pay the consequences because it is much, much harder to find a partner when I have four divorces (two of which were less than a month) under my belt.

Did you have control over 'why' you meet anyone that comes into your life? No...you don't.

I have no problem with you or I taking full responsibility for our decisions. I, however, go back farther to the root. I am not saying 'blame God', though during the hell of the trial we usually do. Or, the hell of our decisions.

You fear your heart would be hardened....but why? Please consider my question in post #(8). Didn't God know? And my response, 'Of course God knew'.

Your response is based on the belief, that Adam and Eve in the Garden was all that God wanted when He created man. My belief/opinion is that Adam and Eve in the Garden was just a means to the end of what God wanted.

In other words, God did not want perfect people in a perfect environment. He wants redeemed people who know what sin is, who know what redeemption is, who know the imperfectness of their actions and decisons. Thus Jesus Christ is slain, not in 1st century A.D. He is slain from the very foundation of the world. (Rev. 13:8)

My opinion.

Lees

 

[Messy]

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[Albion]

I'm not so sure God is to blame for much of what we go through. I got sucked in by charm and made some really bad choices because of it.

This is the point that so many people miss. It's understandable that we all want God to bail us out when bad things happen, and he often does, even when we don't recognize that he's directed affairs to our benefit. That's because we want easy answers.

However, what's forgotten is that Man originally misused his free will--the thing that set humans above the animals (along with some other things).

As a result, we live in an imperfect world in which some people do wonderful things and others are selfish, crooked, and etc. The hope and the promise is that those who do not always do right but do trust Christ and try to follow his directives will be given satisfaction and fulfillment in the end.

 

[ValleyGal]

Did you have control over 'why' you meet anyone that comes into your life? No...you don't.

No, but I have the choice as to whether I keep them there. I chose not to keep two of my exes in my life and I tried very hard to keep the other two in my life. Unfortunately, people don't always mean what they say, and they are no longer in my life.

Please consider my question in post #(8). Didn't God know? And my response, 'Of course God knew'.

Of course he knows. But just because he knows doesn't prevent some very big feelings over being mistreated and lied to.

It's understandable that we all want God to bail us out when bad things happen, and he often does, even when we don't recognize that he's directed affairs to our benefit.

I'm not sure that God directs all our affairs. In fact, it seems to be a Lutheran - and maybe Anglican - belief that I do not share. I have never asked God to bail me out when bad things have happened. I've simply made further choices about what I would do about them. I don't expect God to rescue me from my own bad decisions or difficult situations. I rely on the Lord Jesus for my salvation. He owes me nothing because salvation is everything.

There are certain things we cannot control, such as who our parents are or our country of birth, time and manner of death, and maybe sometimes even the why and how we meet certain people. After all, there are a LOT of people who come into our lives who serve no purpose in knowing them at all, or you them, like the person who is cashing out your groceries or makes your coffee at Starbucks, or one of the people you serve at your work.

Then there are things you CAN control, like whether you treat yourself and others with respect, how you respond to conflict or big emotions, who you choose as a life partner, where to go to college and what to take there, or whether to go at all. You can control your own decisions, whether you take responsibility for them, you can control letting good into your life and keeping out the bad (see the boundaries pattern here?). There are a lot of things you can control, including who to keep in your life and who to let go, who to make a meaningful difference to and who to slip through the cracks.

I have come to this conclusion after reading a thorough biblical study "Decision-Making and the Will of God" by Garry Friesen. I read this book on recommendation from my pastor at the time, after a period when I was immobilized by inability to make a significant decision for fear of "missing the mark" of God's will, or his "direction."

I now believe that he has "directed" me insofar as having me born to my specific parents who would provide a specific attachment style, personality and core beliefs as a child, that would assist in how I would act out my life as an adult in meaningful life domains. I do believe there were two significant times in my life when he told me specific direction, one of which was in direct instruction to live out the moral absolute, and the other was vague, like the direction he gave to Abram, to "go to the land I will show you" without actually showing him until he had already left his home. It was up to Abram to take the first step. I wonder which direction he went, and was it "directed" by God, or did he have to backtrack at all? Anyway, I believe God's will and direction is an interactive endeavor.

This is my opinion and thus I will continue to make decisions and take responsibility for their outcomes.

 

[Messy]

-

 

[Messy]

Jesus wanted a bride. It costed Him His life. Adam wanted a wife. It costed him his life. Was also his own fault, but alone he wouldn't have sinned.
Corrie ten Boom was in love with a friend from her brother and they talked about marriage, but her brother warned her, that he would never marry her, because his mom wanted him to have a rich upper class girl. One day he dropped by to show her his rich fiance and she cried on her bed and her dad said: You can let the love for him die, but then a part of yourself dies or you can give it to God and ask Him to turn it into His Love. So she did that and it enabled her to love the unlovable, like the Nazi's who killed her sister in a concentration camp and the guy who betrayed them to the SS-ers. He got saved. She lead him to Jesus.

 

[Lees]

No, but I have the choice as to whether I keep them there. I chose not to keep two of my exes in my life and I tried very hard to keep the other two in my life. Unfortunately, people don't always mean what they say, and they are no longer in my life.

Of course he knows. But just because he knows doesn't prevent some very big feelings over being mistreated and lied to.

I'm not sure that God directs all our affairs. In fact, it seems to be a Lutheran - and maybe Anglican - belief that I do not share. I have never asked God to bail me out when bad things have happened. I've simply made further choices about what I would do about them. I don't expect God to rescue me from my own bad decisions or difficult situations. I rely on the Lord Jesus for my salvation. He owes me nothing because salvation is everything.

There are certain things we cannot control, such as who our parents are or our country of birth, time and manner of death, and maybe sometimes even the why and how we meet certain people. After all, there are a LOT of people who come into our lives who serve no purpose in knowing them at all, or you them, like the person who is cashing out your groceries or makes your coffee at Starbucks, or one of the people you serve at your work.

Then there are things you CAN control, like whether you treat yourself and others with respect, how you respond to conflict or big emotions, who you choose as a life partner, where to go to college and what to take there, or whether to go at all. You can control your own decisions, whether you take responsibility for them, you can control letting good into your life and keeping out the bad (see the boundaries pattern here?). There are a lot of things you can control, including who to keep in your life and who to let go, who to make a meaningful difference to and who to slip through the cracks.

I have come to this conclusion after reading a thorough biblical study "Decision-Making and the Will of God" by Garry Friesen. I read this book on recommendation from my pastor at the time, after a period when I was immobilized by inability to make a significant decision for fear of "missing the mark" of God's will, or his "direction."

I now believe that he has "directed" me insofar as having me born to my specific parents who would provide a specific attachment style, personality and core beliefs as a child, that would assist in how I would act out my life as an adult in meaningful life domains. I do believe there were two significant times in my life when he told me specific direction, one of which was in direct instruction to live out the moral absolute, and the other was vague, like the direction he gave to Abram, to "go to the land I will show you" without actually showing him until he had already left his home. It was up to Abram to take the first step. I wonder which direction he went, and was it "directed" by God, or did he have to backtrack at all? Anyway, I believe God's will and direction is an interactive endeavor.

This is my opinion and thus I will continue to make decisions and take responsibility for their outcomes.

Of course we have feelings which are affected by others actions towards us. That is unavoidable as we are created in God's image and God feels. Jesus Christ was in the will of God, yet cried out, "Why hast Thou forsaken Me?" Just as John the Baptist began to doubt Jesus when cast into prison. (Matt. 11:1-4) No doubt John wondered about the miracles Jesus was doing, yet here he was in prison. Which begs the question to me, with all the various miracles Christ was doing, why didn't Christ rescue John out of prison instead of allowing him to be beheaded?

And then you have Job...who lost everything except a wife who told him to curse God and die. (Job 2:9) Why would a loving God kill so many in Job's life and destroy his property and person? Why would God give him such a wife and allow her to live? Yet Job was trying to do all that he knew to be right with God. And would God's answer to Job cause him to harden his heart? (Job 38:2) "Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge" And (Job 40:2) "Shall he that contendeth with the Almighty instruct him?" And so many others. See (Job 38-40)

We have the book of (Job) to read and know the why of what God did or 'allowed' to happen to Job, which as I said, are the same thing. But Job didn't have that. And God never told Job the why. The thing God was doing was bigger than Job and his family.

So, my opinion is, yes we make decisions and live out the results of them. And our feelings are affected good or bad. But God is greater than those decisons and feelings. We can do right things, and all goes to hell. We can do wrong things and it turns out for the better. And coming to that conclusion shouldn't lead one to have a hard heart.

I remember that book you mentioned, "Decision Making and the Will of God". It was quite popular in the day. I don't think I ever read it though. I always liked Yogi Bera's method. "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." It sounds corny but I think there is some truth in it.

The believer needs to know that when it comes to a decision, either way you go, God is going with you. Isn't He? (Ps. 139:8-9) "If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there."

My opinion

Lees

 

[Albion]

I'm not sure that God directs all our affairs. In fact, it seems to be a Lutheran - and maybe Anglican - belief that I do not share.

What I wrote in that post was to the effect that we need to realize that God does NOT "direct all our affairs."

Not in the sense of micromanaging all events. He is in charge of all that exists, and he knows all, but the idea that he personally operates everything that we are involved with is a mistaken POV.

Thinking that he really does that kind of micromanaging (such that when things go wrong his creature feels it's God's doing, or God's disinterest, that is responsible) is what leads to the attitude we are concerned with in this discussion.

I have never asked God to bail me out when bad things have happened.

But most people do. And they have Jesus' words to support them in that, so I can understand their disappointment when God does not seem to intervene.

But disappointment is one thing; blaming God or denouncing God is worse, and it's usually based upon the false notion that God must answer prayer in exactly the way the petitioner requested or else he's no God at all.

 

[ValleyGal]

My heart is not hard against God; it is against the exes who misled me, didn't keep their word (either lied when they made vows or did not have the integrity to keep them), and let in destruction into our marriages. And of course I'm angry with myself for being misled. It's not just husbands, either. Research has been emerging about the rise in crime, lawlessness, self-centred and self-serving behaviour, IPV, divisiveness, inability to manage conflict, dysregulation, and many other destructive behaviours.

That's bad on a grand scale, but when it affects me every time I leave my house, it is bound to have an effect. So... maybe the law of attraction works just a little - in that when people are nasty to me, I can have a nasty reaction. Just leaving the house has become so stressful that I don't want to anymore. Home is peaceful. Lonesome at times, but peaceful.

It's interesting now that I think about the law of attraction the other way around. I have been thinking about it in the sense that I put "good" out there all my life and have not received a whole lot of "good" in return. I've been respectful 95% of the time with others, but have received very little respect. But when I think about the destructive things.... for example, one ex resented me for years and in his mind allowed the resentment to grow and grow, adding to it based on assumptions about me and my motives. Eventually it came to light that he resented me so badly, and I then began to resent the fact that he resented me, and I resented him for a couple of years after we divorced. I have dealt with it for the most part, but he put out resentment and eventually that's what he got in return. So... maybe the law of attraction works a little.

 

[Messy]

It's so sad. I chose to forgive my ex. Really had to say: God I chose to forgive him, cause I couldn't. God had to do it. And I called him, cause no way he would call me first and I said I was sorry and then he said he was sorry and lol that he didn't mean to take the kids from me. LOL. Funnypants. Stole our 3 month old baby for 7 months. He said that he had felt rejected and I had felt rejected by him. The devil sure had a good time. It all started when we stopped praying every morning. Recently a girl contacted me to ask me if my 2nd ex (the one I ran off with in a mental hospital the day after my ex dumped me) was also so horrible to me and how did I get rid of him. Felt so sorry for her. He hit her and used her like a slave, she said. He only tried to choke me once when we broke up. I thought he was not that bad. The last one was the worst. Only dated 2 months. Met him in a church. He was a sociopath if you ask me. His own family helped his ex wife to get rid of him. Serial cheater, took my money. And I didn't even like him. It was like witchcraft. He said I had to marry him. It was insane. My dad was so fed up with the nonsense, he said: Are you another one of those jerks who's after her money? He refused to eat with him. Dad ate his pizza on the couch and he said: THIS PIZZA WAS EXPENSIVE! IM NOT GONNA GET PIZZA ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU COME OVER! And that slimy guy said: oh we can come visit every Saturday. Dad: NO! I DON'T WANT THAT!

 

[Messy]

I got sucked in by charm and made some really bad choices because of it.