Why Do Husbands Cheat?

[Amos Ministries]

1 Corinthians 7:3 - The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.⁠
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The loss of sexual intimacy in a marriage is a tell tale sign of imminent disaster. Just like a normal appetite, every man and woman has a sexual appetite that must be fed. If you are not feeding your spouse’s sexual appetite, don’t think they will just starve! Once your spouse stops seeing you in a sexual way and as a sexual partner, their desire will turn towards someone else. You will be nothing more than a roommate and/or the mother of their children. ⁠
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Husbands should not be made to feel like they are sexual fiends. Sex is a natural and normal expectation in a Christian marriage. It is not to be used as a bargaining tool or reward for good behavior. A man will not put his sex life on hold either. If you are constantly putting sex on the bottom of your list of priorities, this will weaken him, causing him to be defenseless against temptation when another woman offers him what you are not.⁠
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The important thing to know is that every time a husband and wife deprive each other of sexual intimacy, they are opening the door to sin through temptation!⁠
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Do you make sure you’ve eaten, are dressed and ready to take on the day? Do you take time out in your busy schedule to get your nails and hair done? Do you make time to ‘go out with the girls’ or ‘grab a coffee with your bestie’? Clean the house? You make time for the things that are important to you. If you don’t find time for regular sex in your marriage, it’s time to make a change before it’s too late!⁠
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Order takeout, skip the dishes, send the kids to bed early, wake up earlier yourselves, cancel extra curricular activities for the family - do whatever it takes to make and maintain time for sex in your marriage. You can do without a lot of things in your life, but a sexless marriage is not one of them! Denying your spouse sexual intercourse (conjugal rights) is a sin against God’s word.⁠

 

[Lanman87]

I while I agree with the premise of your post, that withholding sex opens up the door to temptation, that doesn't give either spouse the excuse to give in to temptation.

Also, there have been plenty of men (and women) who had a great married sex life who still cheated. They don't cheat because they aren't getting sex at home. They cheated because the opportunity came around and the thrill of it, or the novelty in it, or just because they could.

 

[Castle Church]

Distilling why men or women cheat on their spouse down to "sex" is naïve and misses the reality that it is really a culmination of issues. Sex is often a part of those issues, but the real underlying issues are usually not sex.

 

[Amos Ministries]

I while I agree with the premise of your post, that withholding sex opens up the door to temptation, that doesn't give either spouse the excuse to give in to temptation.

Also, there have been plenty of men (and women) who had a great married sex life who still cheated. They don't cheat because they aren't getting sex at home. They cheated because the opportunity came around and the thrill of it, or the novelty in it, or just because they could.

I don’t agree but maybe we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

 

[Lanman87]

I don’t agree but maybe we’ll just have to agree to disagree.

Just curious, which part do you disagree with. That a spouse withholding sex doesn't give someone the right to give into temptation or that plenty of married people who had a great sex life still cheated? or both?

 

[Amos Ministries]

Just curious, which part do you disagree with. That a spouse withholding sex doesn't give someone the right to give into temptation or that plenty of married people who had a great sex life still cheated? or both?

Of course withholding sex does not give the right to commit adultery but that is what happens we must be real about the situation.

And I don’t agree that plenty of believing married couples with a no denial sex life cheat.

 

[Lanman87]

And I don’t agree that plenty of believing married couples with a no denial sex life cheat.

Well, we are all capable of sin for no other reason than our on sinful desires.

 

[Amos Ministries]

Well, we are all capable of sin for no other reason than our on sinful desires.

Yes but you used the word “plenty” I’m sure it happens but I don’t agree that it’s the norm or anything close to it.

 

[Bluezone777]

People sin because they are not content with what they have and believe they will find it in what they don't have. The truth is if you aren't content with what you have, you will never find it in what you don't have. Contentment in this life starts and end with Jesus. If you don't have that, you will never know contentment and will be constantly under the spell of sin and all its false promises that it never delivers on and never was going to. Don't go looking outward for the reason you sin, you only need to do what King David did and look inward as that is where the problem of why you sin is to be found and only you can choose to break yourself free of the spell that sin has you under when you chose to stop blaming the people and situations around you and admit the truth which is you who is the problem and it is you who will ensure you either stay that way or not.

 

[Member4592]

Everyone has their answers and their reasons no matter how (no profanity) they are. It's not just men that screw around in a marriage or relationship. Women do it too. My ex wife gave me an answer to that question. I asked her over and over. She cheated on me multiple times and we were together for a long time. She told me she didn't love me anymore and that she was tired of me. She said she wanted to see other people and pursue her life differently. So she did. I was with another girl who liked to send nudes to other men over the internet. I guess she thought I was stupid and wouldn't find out.

 

[Lanman87]

Yes but you used the word “plenty” I’m sure it happens but I don’t agree that it’s the norm or anything close to it.

Plenty is a relative term. I personal know men, who claim to be Christians, who cheated on their wife. At least a couple have admitted to me that their wife was a good wife in "every way".

My reason for posting my response was that we can't be lulled into thinking that just because a wife is fulfilling a mans sexual needs (and he hers) that he/she will not cheat. And while I do believe that it is less likely, especially in a Christian context, we can't proclaim that "having great married sex" automatically keeps people from cheating. We are complicated beings and many variables are at play in peoples minds when they decide to, or not to, cheat on a spouse. We have the ability to rationalize pretty much any decision we make and "She's not meeting my needs" is a common rationalization in marriage problems.