Peace, Love, & Understanding

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• Eph 5:21 . . Submit to one another out of respect for Christ.

The Greek word translated "submit" is hupotasso (hoop-ot-as'-so) which means: to
subordinate (as a verb) which is just the opposite of dominate and/or compete.

A workable synonym for the kind of submission we're talking about here is
"deference" which Webster's defines as: (1) respect and esteem due a superior or
an elder, and (2) affected, or ingratiating, regard for another's wishes; viz: honor.

This isn't about a pecking order. What we're talking about here is a Christian social
skill; it's about regarding others as not equal to yourself, but actually better than
yourself; and it pleases Christ to do so; besides being just plain all around good
manners.

"Whoever humbles himself as a little child is the greatest in the kingdom of
heaven." (Matt 18:3-4)

Little children in that day were minors who had little or no social status at all to
speak of. If somebody abused a minor; it was just too bad since there were no
Child Services bureaus to defend them. Minors were typically among those ruled
rather than among those who do the ruling; and they got like zero-to-none respect
from their elders.

In other words; an imperious Christian-- one that's assertive, bossy, take charge,
demanding, argumentative, quarrelsome, impudent, conceited, domineering,
confrontational, manipulative, reactive, independent, non negotiable, opinionated,
obstinately or intolerantly devoted to their own opinions and prejudices, stubborn,
and insistent upon their own way --is definitely a failure at associating with their
fellow Christians in a manner acceptable to Christ.
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• Eph 5:22 . .Wives, submit to your husbands as to The Lord.

"as to the Lord" probably means that women ought to revere their husbands with
the same degree of respect that they would give Christ were he their spouse.

The Greek word for "submit" in this verse is the very same for submit in Eph 5:21,
and never means that wives take orders from their husbands like in some sort of
despotic monarchy. We haven't changed the subject; in point of fact we're actually
being redundant because what we're talking about here is deference rather than
obedience. An attitude of deference is mandatory for Christians on both sides of the
gender aisle-- both men and women.

We should emphasize that these instructions are only for Spirit-filled couples.
They're not for the average rank and file pew-warming couple, nor for the world's
couples at large.

First of all; Spirit-filled wives walk in the fruit of the Spirit; which is love, joy,
peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and self control. That
alone filters out most wives. And they also speak to themselves with psalms, hymns
and spiritual songs; making music in their hearts to The Lord rather than going
around with a grumpy disposition all the time with a cross look on their face.

Spirit-filled wives don't strive for equality, nor do they compete with their husbands
as rivals for supremacy, nor do they have to be right all the time. And most
importantly, a Spirit-filled wife treads lightly on her husband's feelings.

A wife that's independent, quarrelsome, complaining, fault-finding, chafing, hostile,
violent, carping, dominating, manipulating, critical, thin-skinned, defensive,
assertive, aggressive, thoughtless, insensitive, loud, stubborn, difficult, cruel,
gender-biased, confrontational, always clamoring about empowerment, and
harboring a "I am woman! Hear me roar!" mentality is not The Lord's concept of
deference.

A deferent wife is diplomatic; she's gracious, cordial, affable, approachable,
temperate, genial, sociable, ready to turn the other cheek, generous, charitable,
altruistic, tactful, sensitive, sympathetic; and above all coherent, reasonable, and
rational rather than incoherent, emotional, and reactive.
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• Eph 5:23-24 . . For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of
the church, his body, of which he is the savior. Now as the church submits to
Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Christians, no less, have tried to circumvent that requirement by quoting Paul to
refute Paul; for example:

"For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were
baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor
Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for
you are all one in Christ Jesus. (Gal 3:26-28)

But if we were to make Gal 3:26-28 a rule in family affairs; then Christian
marriages would be same-sex unions; and that, to say the least, is quite
unacceptable.

If a Christian wife cannot treat her husband with the respect due him in accordance
with Eph 5:21 then she should at least try to treat him with respect in accordance
with Eph 5:23-24; in other words; treat her husband the way she would treat Christ
were he the one sharing a home with her.

Though both husband and wife are equals as believers, and equally Christ's
subjects, they are definitely not equals as man and wife though they be one flesh;
just as Christ and his Father are not equals though they be one God. A Christian
wife who humiliates her husband in any way literally humiliates Christ when she
does so; and gives herself away that she's neither walking in the Spirit, nor filled
with the Spirit, nor loyal to the lord and master of Christianity.

It's said that familiarity breeds contempt; and I'm afraid that a good number of
Christians have gotten so accustomed to thinking of Christ as a sibling that they've
forgotten he's primarily a monarch who expects the realm to comply with his edicts
rather than challenge them.

NOTE: Men and women have very different needs as regards to respect. Shaunti
Feldhahn, author of "For Women Only" relates a survey taken among segregated
groups of men and women with this question: Given a choice; would you rather be
disrespected, or would you rather be alone and unloved in the world? The majority
of the ladies chose disrespect rather than living alone and unloved in the world
while the majority of the men chose to live alone and unloved rather than be
disrespected.

A young bride just starting out, with a head full of feminism and a heart infected
with contempt for males (a.k.a. misandry) and not caring how important respect is
to men, will have no trouble turning her husband's marriage into a living hell for
him without even half trying.

NOTE: There is a significant difference between respect and admiration. In other
words: it isn't necessary for a wife to be proud of her husband before she can
respect him. Respect implies being courteous, kind, tolerant, forgiving, sensitive,
thoughtful, tactful, diplomatic, generous, cooperative, friendly, considerate, patient,
lenient, sympathetic, and civil.

So then, what's one thing that every Spirit-filled wife can do to please Christ?
Simple. Respect her husband. And don't respect him only if he earns your respect:
no, respect him all the time just as you'd respect Christ all the time were he your
husband. A wife cannot expect a husband to love her unconditionally when she
won't make an effort to respect him unconditionally.

A very disturbing display of disrespect took place in my own home. My wife and I
used to baby-sit for a couple at church whenever they were away. When they came
over one night to pick up their kids, my son and theirs were playing a really good
Nintendo game. The daddy informed the kids it was time to go, and in customary
kid-fashion they ignored him and kept playing their game. So he became gruff and
ordered them out to the car.

His wife then proceeded to come down on him like the wrath of God and exclaimed:
You're yelling at the kids in front of our hosts! You're hurting their feelings!

Well, guess what? Mrs. Self Righteous was scolding her husband in front of us and
hurting his feelings. If you could have seen the look on his face you'd know that her
husband was not going to get over the effects of his wife's public scolding for a long
while to come; if ever.

You know, kids get used to their parents demeaning them in front of others. To
kids, it's just a fact of life. However, I seriously doubt there's a husband on earth
who can get used to a wife treating him like a child.

"A wise woman builds her home; a foolish woman tears her home down with her
own hands." (Prov 14:1)

"So be careful how you live, not as fools but as those who are wise." (Eph 5:15)
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• Eph 5:28-33a . . Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who
loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds
and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body.

. . . "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his
wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery-- but I am
talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his
wife as he loves himself,

That, of course, is a practical application of the so-called golden rule; which first
shows up in the Bible at Lev 19:18, applied at Lev 19:34, and reiterated at Matt
7:12 and Luke 6:31.

The very opposite of the golden rule would be for a husband to do unto his wife the
very things that he does do not enjoy being done to himself; either by word or by
deed.

I'm not a qualified marriage counselor, but in my unprofessional opinion, were
couples to practice the golden rule in their association with each other, it would go
a long ways towards preventing their relationship from becoming a cold war instead
of a home.

There are toxic wives out there who do not deserve their husband's affections; and
in fact have done all in their power to destroy them. Nevertheless, it is his Christian
duty to continue looking after her, and to treat her well as if his very life depended
upon it in spite of the fact that she may be someone he deeply regrets courting.
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• Eph 5:33b . . The wife must respect her husband.

We're not talking about admiration here. The Greek verb for "respect" is phobeo
(fob-eh'-o) which essentially refers to fright; and is used just that way in numerous
places throughout the New Testament.

Some translators render phobeo as "reverence" which Webster's defines as honor
or respect; felt or shown; which means that wives don't especially have to like their
husbands in order to respect them. An attitude of respect will do in lieu of felt
respect. In other words: the Christian wife would do well to stifle the disgust she
feels for her husband and be civil.

"You have heard that it was said: You shall love your neighbor, and hate your
enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you
in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His
sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the
unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not
even the tax-gatherers do the same?" (Matt 5:43-48)

"And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye
love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love
them. And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? For
sinners also do even the same." (Luke 6:31-33)

I overheard a female caller on radio imperiously announcing to Dr. Laura that she
couldn't respect her husband. So Dr. Laura asked her why. The caller responded:
Because he doesn't deserve it. So Laura asked the caller: Have you earned your
husband's love? The caller retorted: I don't have to deserve his love. It's a
husband's duty to love his wife just as she is.

So Laura pointed out that the caller was practicing a double standard. She
demanded that her husband love her unconditionally, while refusing to respect him
unconditionally. And on top of that; had the chutzpah to dictate the rules of
engagement regardless of how her husband might feel about it; thus making
herself not only impossible to like, but also quite difficult to live with.
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• Eph 6:4 . . Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in
the training and instruction of The Lord.

Too often the first half of that verse is omitted and the focus swung entirely upon
the second. Well; let's break ranks and include the first half for a change because a
daddy's parenting style has far more effect upon a growing child than his religion.

To begin with: despotism, tyranny, and unfairness are not The Lord's way of raising
kids; but rather; his way is the manner of a shepherd; and "good" shepherds aren't
cruel to their flocks.

Maybe you don't burn your kids with cigarettes, pour Tabasco sauce in their eyes,
or lock them in a hall closet without food and water for two days; but do you ignore
their opinions, demean them with denigrating labels, ridicule them, threaten their
lives, work them as slaves without compensation, deny them things just so you
won't appear to indulge them, and/or say "no" to their requests for no good reason
than that you don't want to seem weak and under their control?

Do you routinely abuse their human rights, and/or relegate them to the level of
livestock rather than bona fide human beings with feelings and a mind of their own?
Do you nurture within them a feeling of importance, of belonging in your home, or
do you make them feel like an invasive species and/or an uninvited guest? Kids pick
up on things like that.

But aren't there moms out there exasperating their kids? Of course! Mothers can be
just as tyrannical, just as despotic, and just as unfair as dads.

I believe it is a Spirit-filled dad's sacred filial duty to defend his children from their
own mother's abuses should the need arise. Not many dads are willing to do that
because it means risking having the wife turn against him; so quite a few dads opt
to sacrifice the children in order to keep momma happy.

In my opinion, throwing one's own children to the wolves in order to avoid living in
the same house with a moody woman has to be one of the worst possible sins a
man can ever commit in his own home. It's just downright cowardly; and tells the
kids they can't trust the one man in the whole world upon whom they should be
able to rely in times of distress.

NOTE: The Bible predicts that towards the end, parents will become callous with
their babies.

"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For people shall be
. . .without natural affection" (2Tim 3:1-3)

The Greek word translated "without natural affection" is astorgos (as'-tor-gos)
which means: hard-hearted towards kindred; viz: lacking in sympathetic
understanding i.e. unfeeling, pitiless, thoughtless, insensitive, cruel, and inhumane.
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• Eph 6:5-7 . . Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with
sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their
favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from
your heart. With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men.

• Eph 6:9a . . And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten
them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven,

I have yet to discover a passage in the Bible either condemning or forbidding
slavery. I'm not saying there are none; it's just that as for myself, I have yet to run
across one. But I have discovered passages related to the treatment of slaves.

in the same way hails back to Eph 6:7 where it says:

"With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men"

Note that herein masters are not required to liberate their slaves; rather, to treat
them with good will; roughly defined as benevolent interest or concern, i.e.
kindness and charity.

In a situation where both the slave and his owner are Christians, things become
just a bit complicated because they're siblings together in God's family (Gal 3:28).
Therefore, Christ's law is to be exemplified by both the slave and his master.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John
15:12-13)

A slave owner willing to sacrifice his life to protect his slaves would be an unusual
master; but that is the very thing expected from him when he's a Christian and his
slaves are Christians; and should probably be the attitude of a Christian supervisor
towards his Christian employees: which is the attitude of a good shepherd rather
than that of a self-serving predator.
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• Phil 2:1-2 . . If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any
comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and
compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same
love, being one in spirit and purpose.

"unity" is a buzz word among ecumenicals; but Christ's directive in no way pertains
to ecumenicals whose core belief it is that no one's wrong, and everyone's a
Christian if they say so. No, The Lord's directive only pertains to a very narrow
cross section of Christians whom he labeled: "those you have given me" (John
17:9). It is they for whom The Lord prayed for unity. (John 17:11, John 17:21-22)

The Greek word for "tenderness and compassion" is splagchnon (splangkh'
non)which means: an intestine. Your gut is the very place where you "feel" pity and
or sympathy for others-- that is; if you're capable of those kinds of feelings; not
everyone is.
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• Phil 2:2-3 . . Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility
consider others better than yourselves.

If there is at least one place on earth where believers should be on the same plane
with each other it's church; but that's not always the case as human beings are just
naturally prone to status; especially among pastors, choir members, Sunday school
teachers, Deacons, Deaconesses, etc.

Some people aren't content with mediocrity; no, they have to be head and
shoulders above the crowd, they have to be admired: they have to be feted, they
have to be heard, they have to be noticed, they have to be somebody, they have to
be a mover and a shaker, they have to be up in an ivory tower; they have to have
their finger on the pulse; they have to be in the limelight. And above all; they have
to be right because it is totally contrary to conceit's nature to be wrong about
anything; even superfluous minutiae.

If you should find yourself in a position around your church, whether as an usher or
a cook for men's Saturday morning prayer breakfast, make sure your heart's in the
right place because there is coming a performance evaluation for the Lord's sheep
where some of the elite are going to be very embarrassed when they're exposed for
the ambitious achievers they really are.

"He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness, and will expose the motives of
men's hearts." (1Cor 4:5)

An especially bad case of "vain conceit" is on display at 3John 1:9-10
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• Phil 2:4 . . Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the
interests of others.

The "others" in that verse are exclusive. Paul's directive pertains only to the
classification of people to whom he penned his letter; viz: "saints in Christ Jesus . .
together with the overseers and deacons" (Phil 1:1)

Seeing as how The Lord expressly forbids selfish ambition amongst his own;
therefore, before proceeding with your ideas, be very sure to ponder all the
possible ramifications of your actions first.

Stepping on people's toes, and/or thwarting their ideas so that yours prevail, fails
to satisfy the law of Christ; which requires believers to love their fellow believers as
Christ loves them (John 15:12). It also fails to satisfy the Golden Rule which says:
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you. (Matt 7:12).
Always looking out for No.1 just simply isn't very nice.
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• Phil 4:5 . . Let your gentleness be evident to all.

The Greek word translated "gentleness" is epieikes (ep-ee-i-kace') which
essentially means: mild.

Webster's defines "mild" as gentle in nature or behavior, moderate in action or
effect; not sharp or bitter, i.e. mellow; which is just the opposite of fierce, harsh,
rough, scathing, mean, abrasive, stormy, intemperate, strict, and/or severe.

Though a mild/mellow person is affable, they aren't necessarily a wimp; no, they're
just not easy to provoke. The quite opposite would be a thin skinned, reactive,
defensive personality that goes to war at the drop of a hat.

Mild people don't threaten, nor come at you with bared teeth and narrowed eyes.
They're reasonable and rational, rather than emotional and reactive. Assertive,
confrontational people have no clue what it is to be mild; and those are the very
ones losing sleep with evil thoughts as they obsessively re-wind and re-play a
conflict with somebody in their heads over, and over, and over again rehearsing
things they should've said, and would've said, had they thought of them.

"Blessed are the meek." (Matt 5:5)

Moses was meek (Num 12:3) and Christ was meek (Matt 11:29, Matt 21:5).
Personally I wouldn't categorize either of those two men as meek. So then, what
really is meekness?

Primarily, to be meek, in the Biblical sense of the word, is to be temperate. A
temperate person isn't eo ipso a cowering milk toast. Anybody who's studied the
life of Moses and Jesus can easily testify that neither of those men were timid; no,
they walked softly but carried a big stick, so to speak. Never mistake true
meekness for a yellow streak.

Jacob and his dad Isaac were temperate men; but could be very strong when the
situation called for it. Temperate people pick their battles carefully, and never
waste anger and energy on trifles.

There are Christians in this world who're simply implacable. They just cannot live
and let live. Turning the other cheek is to them a worn-out cliché that no one takes
seriously anymore. For them rivalry, conflict, revenge, competition, retaliation,
recriminations, and grudging are a way of life: every disagreement is an act of war
- they're peevish, emotional, bitter, harsh, unloving, cruel, thoughtless, and
reactive; and they thrive on complaining, criticizing, chafing, carping, finding fault,
tattling, bickering, retort upon retort, rejoinder upon rejoinder, sarcasm, endless
debate, dredging up old unresolved conflicts, gainsaying, and getting in people's
faces and giving them a piece of their mind.

It seems like those people are always getting indignant about some petty outrage
or another. Well; those kinds of Christians are definitely not in the "gentle"
category. They're hellish, toxic demons who relish letting their wrath be evident to
all instead of gentleness because when they're upset; they want everybody to know
it.
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• Col 3:8 . . Put off all these: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and
greed, anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

Webster's defines "malice" as desire to cause pain, injury, or distress to another.
Behaviors like deliberate chafing, needling, ridicule, mockery, taunts, demeaning
comments, ugly words that tear people down rather than build them up,
denigrating labels, biting sarcasm, fault-finding, carping criticism, thoughtless
remarks, petty ill will, spite, vindictiveness, and stalking are all malicious behaviors
that no one in heaven ever practices because heaven is a place of peace.

The Greek word for "filthy conversation" is aischrologia (ahee-skhrol-og-ee'-ah) and
means vile conversation.

Webster's defines "vile" as (1) morally despicable or abhorrent, (2) physically
repulsive; viz: foul and/or odious, (3) of little worth or account; viz: common,
vulgar, (4) tending to degrade, demean, and/or denigrate, (5) disgustingly and/or
utterly bad; viz: obnoxious, contemptible, unacceptable, disagreeable, and (6)
base; viz: crude, churlish, and/or unrefined.
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• Col 3:9-10 . . Do not lie to each other since you have taken off your old self with
its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in
the image of its Creator.

NOTE: It's interesting that the Colossian believers were lying to each other, and no
doubt would have continued had not Paul commanded them to stop it.

Humanity's original self began its created existence in the image of God (Gen 1:26
27). In other words; Adam started off as an honest man. Clearly then; dishonesty
does not reflect the image of God, rather, it projects humanity's own image.

Humanity's original self wasn't created bullet-proof, so to speak. It was corruptible
(Eph 4:22). Were that not true, we'd all be honest men rather than a pack of liars,
deceivers, beguilers, and dissemblers.

The Greek word for "renewed" is anakainoo (an-ak-ahee-no'-o) which means: to
renovate; defined by Webster's defines as: (1) to restore to a former better state
(as by cleaning, repairing, or rebuilding), and (2) to restore to life, vigor, or
activity, i.e. revive. In other words: regenerate.

That word anakainoo appears in only one other place in the entire New Testament
at 2Cor 4:16, which says:

"Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day
by day."

Quite a few elderly Christians, with years of life and personal experience under their
belts, can attest to the truth of Col 3:10 and 2Cor 4:16.

This relates to one of the tragedies of Hell. People down there never gave God an
opportunity to overhaul their spiritual condition; so now they're no better as
persons in the afterlife than they were in this life. After all is said and done-- the
big judgment of Rev 20:11-15 is completed, and the new cosmos of Rev 21:1 is up
and running --Christ caps everything by announcing:

"Let him who does wrong continue to do wrong; let him who is vile continue to be
vile." (Rev 22:10)

In other words: bad people who end up in the ultimate Hell will remain just as bad
there as they were here.
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• Col 3:12 . .Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe
yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Apparently the Colossian believers were neither compassionate, nor kind, nor
humble, nor gentle, nor patient; and would have continued to be that way had not
the apostle Paul spoken up.

His basis was the Colossians' standing as "God's chosen people, holy and dearly
beloved" I mean: is it appropriate for people in that kind of a relationship with God
to behave like devils?

You know, judging from the descriptions of some of the first century churches, I get
the impression that were we to go back in time to visit one, we'd be walking into a
snake pit!
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• Col 3:13-14 . . Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may
have against one another. Forgive as The Lord forgave you. And over all these
virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

One of The Lord's constant rubs with his religious opponents was their virtually
100% lack of kindness and compassion; which effectively invalidated their rituals.

"Go and learn what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice." (Matt 9:13)

Some folk honestly believe that Christ's statement, taken from Hosea 6:6,
practically repealed the entire God-given book of Leviticus. But that's not what
either Hosea or Jesus were saying. They meant that God much prefers that people
be civil to each other rather than religious to their fingertips.

In other words; an ungracious person's lack of things like sympathy, patience,
tolerance, lenience, helpfulness, pity, and common courtesy causes God to reject
their worship just as thoroughly and bluntly as He rejected Cain's. I really think that
God is insulted when people lacking humanity come to church actually thinking He's
glad to see them show up for some quality time together.
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• Col 3:18 . .Wives, submit to your husband, as is fitting in The Lord.

NOTE: Here's a new word for your vocabulary: Womxn. You know what that is? It's
the latest desperate attempt by man-hating women to avoid identifying themselves
with men in every way possible. I suppose they'll next revise the spelling of their
gender to look like this: femxle.

The word "submit" raises a lot of unnecessary hackles when it isn't referring to a
pecking order. What it's referring to is just the opposite of defiant, stubborn,
uncooperative, domineering women. Especially wives that tend to marginalize their
husbands in everything.

For example: there was a wife in one of my Sunday school classes who made up
her mind to go back to school and work towards a degree regardless of how her
husband felt about it. She actually had the chutzpah to announce her intentions in
class while her husband sat there in silence with his head down in utter shame and
embarrassment.

Anyway: in a nutshell; the submission we're talking about here is related to a
Christian husband's position in the home rather than his gender in the marriage.

For example; we ought to respect senior citizens not because they themselves have
done anything to earn it, rather, because it's a respect that their age deserves. (cf.
Lev 9:32)

Back when Queen Elizabeth Second became monarch, her husband Philip felt
humiliated to have to kneel to his own wife till she explained to him that he
wouldn't be kneeling to her, rather, to the crown.

In other words: it's the position that deserves the respect rather than the person in
it. So, Christian wives ought to give their husbands the respect due to his position
in the home rather than the blokes they are.

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to The Lord." (Eph 5:22)

In other words: if it's unchristian to be assertive and confrontational with Christ,
then we ought to agree that it's unchristian to be assertive and confrontational with
one's husband too.

That's a pretty tall order for Christian wives in a modern culture that constantly
pressures them to be strong and masculine rather than soft and feminine; to be
superiors rather than subordinates; and to be assertive, confrontational, and
defiant rather than reasonable, peaceable, and cooperative.
_

 

[Odë:hgöd]

.
• Col 3:19 . . Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

The Greek verb translated "love" is agapao (ag-ap-ah'-o) which doesn't necessarily
imply either affection and/or fondness. It's more about civility than emotion. This is
the kind of love that we extend to everyone-- friend, foe, and stranger alike-
regardless of how we might feel about them. It's the very same love that Jesus
taught in Matt 5:44 which reads:

"You have heard that it was said: You shall love your neighbor, and hate your
enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies,"

In other words; you don't especially have to like your enemies, but you do have to
be civil with them, i.e. courteous, kind, charitable, tolerant, patient, diplomatic,
tactful, gentle, reasonable, fair, deferent, approachable, cordial, genial, affable,
sociable, helpful, thoughtful, sympathetic, considerate, and cooperative, etc.

I readily admit the difficulty of being nice to people who rub us the wrong way; but
still, Christian men whose marriages resemble an on-going cold war would greatly
ease the tensions in their homes, and make the situation bearable for both sides of
the bed, were they to simply practice agapao.

"Harsh" can be exemplified any number of ways.

Abrasive
Abusive
Critical
Unfriendly
Uncivil
Rough
Oppressive
Cruel
Hostile
Loud
Demanding
Laying Down The Law
Intolerant
Impatient
Insensitive
Unyielding
Fault Finding
Public Scolding
Nit Picking
Mockery
Marginalizing
Remarks About Her Appearance
Penny Pinching
Money Rationing
Giving Her No Say In Important Decisions

Those behaviors are very effective at making a Christian wife's existence bitter, i.e.
a living hell; especially a Christian wife who's making an honest effort to comply
with Col 3:18.
_

 

[Odë:hgöd]

.
• Col 3:21 . . Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become
discouraged.

The Greek word translated "discouraged" is athumeo (ath-oo-meh'-o) which has to
do with breaking the spirit. Really bad cases of athumeo can cause a child to lose
the will to excel; sometimes even the will to live, i.e. suicidal.
_

 

[pinacled]

.
I was once asked by an atheist why Christians have so many rules when all they
need is just one: the so-called Golden Rule.

Well; for many of us who grew up in dysfunctional families, broken homes, foster
systems, gangs, and/or orphanages et al; the concept of love doesn't resonate in
our thinking; viz: it just bounces off us like a sonar ping because we quite literally
have no points of reference in our minds to aid comprehending what Christ means
by love.

● John 13:35 . . By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one
another.

We know what Hollywood and contemporary music mean by love, but many of us
scarcely have a clue what Christ means by it in that verse.

This is why the epistles are so valuable-- those writings not only show Christ's
followers how to recognize love when they encounter it; but also how to exemplify
it in their own lives so that those of us who were deprived of love growing up are
not left to figure it out on our own.

So; I'm utilizing this thread to go thru the epistles a little at a time each day
commenting on Bible passages that put a face on love so we can get to know it
better.

Buen Camino
(Pleasant Journey)
_

As a younger brother of yosef.
Did binyamin ever experience the mirror?
The mirror ole sh'aul spoke of.

My question is directed to you ode.

What importance is there in the elder serving the younger?

 

[Odë:hgöd]

.

As a younger brother of yosef. Did binyamin ever experience the mirror? The mirror
ole sh'aul spoke of. My question is directed to you ode. What importance is there in
the elder serving the younger?

Please review the comments in post No.1 because your inquiry hasn't anything to
do with either the topic, or the purpose, of this thread.
_