Being okay with no friends?

[megumi.theia]

Hello to all fellow Christians! I'm a new member here and I'm happy to be part of this community.

I know that friendship is very important to God but is being contented with having no friends a sin or is there something with me?

I value my family, relatives and boyfriend. But I'm having a hard time spending time with friends - old or new. I actually am not hanging out with any of them. I don't go to reunions, friend gathering, or any occasions with them. After I graduate school, I'm not speaking to any of them anymore. If they send me a message, I rarely respond. I'm aftaid that they might initiate to hang out with me - which I'm not really happy to do.

As a Christian, I know this might be all wrong and unacceptable? What could be wrong with me or what can I do to change this?

Thank you.

 

[psalms 91]

There is nothing wrong with you, you are just doing what is comfortable to you but I would encourage you to keep those friends that were good for you, the ones you could talk to and share with.

 

[Lamb]

Hello to all fellow Christians! I'm a new member here and I'm happy to be part of this community.

I know that friendship is very important to God but is being contented with having no friends a sin or is there something with me?

I value my family, relatives and boyfriend. But I'm having a hard time spending time with friends - old or new. I actually am not hanging out with any of them. I don't go to reunions, friend gathering, or any occasions with them. After I graduate school, I'm not speaking to any of them anymore. If they send me a message, I rarely respond. I'm aftaid that they might initiate to hang out with me - which I'm not really happy to do.

As a Christian, I know this might be all wrong and unacceptable? What could be wrong with me or what can I do to change this?

Thank you.

Separating yourself from those you love could be a sign of depression so please be careful and don't be afraid to seek help from a therapist if you need it. If the people around you are toxic then it's okay to set up boundaries to protect yourself.

 

[NewCreation435]

Are you tired, anxious, depressed? I don't think it is a sin to want to be alone.

 

[Arsenios]

Hello to all fellow Christians! I'm a new member here and I'm happy to be part of this community.

I know that friendship is very important to God but is being contented with having no friends a sin or is there something with me?

I value my family, relatives and boyfriend. But I'm having a hard time spending time with friends - old or new. I actually am not hanging out with any of them. I don't go to reunions, friend gathering, or any occasions with them. After I graduate school, I'm not speaking to any of them anymore. If they send me a message, I rarely respond. I'm aftaid that they might initiate to hang out with me - which I'm not really happy to do.

As a Christian, I know this might be all wrong and unacceptable? What could be wrong with me or what can I do to change this?

Thank you.

Why do you not want to hang out with them?

I do not hang out with many either...

Hanging out is... Well... Kinda lame... imnsho...

Being occupied with useful things to do is much better...


Arsenios

ps - Getting married soon?

 

[TurtleHare]

If that group of friends aren't worth your time then it's okay to move on to greener pastures and don't give up hope and it might be that you've matured more than those old friends which is why you will connect with others later on in your life. Stick with your family and they'll support you and be there when you need them.

 

[megumi.theia]

There is nothing wrong with you, you are just doing what is comfortable to you but I would encourage you to keep those friends that were good for you, the ones you could talk to and share with.

Thank you. I guess it's just that it's really hard to trust anyone anymore since I have experienced a lot of betrayals from friends in the past.

 

[megumi.theia]

Separating yourself from those you love could be a sign of depression so please be careful and don't be afraid to seek help from a therapist if you need it. If the people around you are toxic then it's okay to set up boundaries to protect yourself.

Is it still depression if I'm just finding hard to trust anyone except for my family? And that experience with these friends in the past made me uninterested to reuniting with them again?

On the side note, making friends with older people, people who won't likely to have issues with me are much better. I'm around 20s and I prefer to be friends with female group around 30-40 years old.

 

[megumi.theia]

Are you tired, anxious, depressed? I don't think it is a sin to want to be alone.

Thank you. I'm just thinking that as a servant of God, we need to be socially active to share His word?

 

[megumi.theia]

Why do you not want to hang out with them?

I do not hang out with many either...

Hanging out is... Well... Kinda lame... imnsho...

Being occupied with useful things to do is much better...


Arsenios

ps - Getting married soon?

I agree that being occupied with useful things is much better.

I guess the reason I'm not interested and even avoiding to hang out with them is that I don't want to look back and remember all issues (betrayals, catty attitudes, gossips).

Making new friends is not as big issue as reuniting with old ones to me. I'm just not super thrilled to do it and would prefer to spend time with family.

Spending my time productively, like learning new things is actually better. I'm just thinking however that I might be missing out in life with this but then Life is what we make it.

Oh and I'm not marrying soon. But I'm happy with my partner and I hope he's the one I'm spending my life with.

 

[megumi.theia]

If that group of friends aren't worth your time then it's okay to move on to greener pastures and don't give up hope and it might be that you've matured more than those old friends which is why you will connect with others later on in your life. Stick with your family and they'll support you and be there when you need them.

Thank you!

I agree that God could heal my wounds with all my past experiences with these "friends". And that I can meet new friends to help me grow. I would actually prefer older and matured friends than me.

 

[Andrew]

I've always been an introvert but for a few years I was on add meds that made me very social and I got mixed up with the wrong people and began abusing my meds and with help from God I got off of them completely and well, I'm an introvert again lol... It's not all that bad actually, I enjoy being by myself and when friends visit I suck it up for a little bit and hang out but I usually end up waiting for them to leave lol.
Im no jerk or anything, I do like people but I have been betrayed in the past and everyone I get close to usually hurts me and we have a falling away.
I did push myself to visit a few friends last month and it wasn't too bad, we caught up and shared some music we've been working on (my friends and I are musicians) but that's probably it for a while.
I enjoy this forum a lot because we are like minded and I love the people here and appreciate our conversations... I like theology but I don't know anyone personally that I can have theological conversations with.

 

[Lamb]

Is it still depression if I'm just finding hard to trust anyone except for my family? And that experience with these friends in the past made me uninterested to reuniting with them again?

On the side note, making friends with older people, people who won't likely to have issues with me are much better. I'm around 20s and I prefer to be friends with female group around 30-40 years old.

You hadn't mentioned in your OP that you were having difficulties trusting those friends. What caught my eye was that you had said after graduation you weren't speaking to any of them any more and I didn't know if that included your family and boyfriend? But you have clarified that to say it was only your friends you meant.

If your friends aren't the greatest of friends then yes, it's okay to get new ones.

 

[Arsenios]

You might want to rethink friendship...

It is more important to love than to be loved...

And you can love those who do not love you...

And you can love those you do not like...

Hanging out with "friends" can be a pretty lame gig...

Doing things that matter is different...

So a re-think might prove useful...


Arsenios