When are wedding invites sent out?

[TurtleHare]

I received a wedding invitation 9 months before the wedding and is that the new norm now? To me that's an excessive amount of time and I thought that Save the Date cards were mailed out to give guests advance notice in order to make their travel plans. I can't send my reply yet because I am not even satisfied that the couple, who are very young, will remain together long enough to marry.

 

[Lamb]

I think 2 to 3 months is what protocol says?

 

[tango]

I received a wedding invitation 9 months before the wedding and is that the new norm now? To me that's an excessive amount of time and I thought that Save the Date cards were mailed out to give guests advance notice in order to make their travel plans. I can't send my reply yet because I am not even satisfied that the couple, who are very young, will remain together long enough to marry.

Does it make a difference?

If you're going to make meaningful travel plans you've effectively committed to the wedding regardless of whether the piece of paper says "Invite" or "Save the date" on it.

Personally I don't see a whole lot of point in sending a card that just says "You're going to be invited to the wedding but not for a few months". If the wedding date is set and you want to invite me then go ahead and invite me.

 

[Josiah]

The norm today is to send "save-the-date" notices pretty much as soon as possible, as soon as the date is known - or at least 6 months out. People are busy...... usually both are working and need to arrange time off.... some need to arrange money and tickets .... assuming they WANT to come, many need time to prep for this. It is a courtesy. I do image that rarely, the engagement gets cancelled in the 6 months or so before the wedding, but I doubt that cancellation is a huge, dramatic problem for guests (although if one thinks that's likely, get tickets that are refundable!). The actual wedding invites usually go out 2-3 months - with the actual RSVP. They've had some months to decided if they want to come and if they are able to come - so the RSVP should be immediate.


Having just experienced all this, my "beef" are those who
1) NEVER respond!
2) Say they are coming and then don't.

BOTH are major problems! Our wedding reception costs right at $350.00 PER PERSON. When people said they were coming, we reserved a spot for them and paid that price ($700 for a couple.... and yes, we invited the kids so per family added up!). We had several empty places at tables....and I know my father-in-law was adding up the money spent in vain. Then there are those who just NEVER SAID ANYTHING. If you aren't coming, SAY SO. We had a limited number of seats.... we had to give an EXACT NUMBER to the wedding people..... we had to phone some of the invitees - at times, over and over - before they had the courtesy of saying a simple "yes" or "no." They didn't even have to put a stamp on the envelope, we supplied that. And they could do it online. A shocking number evidently don't have the time to check a box and put the card in the mail. We were down to the day before we had to lock in a number and we STILL had a few where we had left message after message on their answering machines or phones, email after email unreplied to. When we reached them, it was about 50/50 who said they were coming or not. "Oh, did I forget to send it that card?" we at times got after leaving messages on their machine, sending them emails. "Of course, we'll be there - I thought you'd assume that!" I got once. Have the decent courtesy to RSVP. And then..... unless you're in the hospital.... if you said you're coming, then DO. It's called courtesy. It's called respect. This is a BIG day in the life of the couple..... This is expensive.



My half cent.


- Josiah