depression and the holidays

[NewCreation435]

We are approaching Thanksgiving in less than one week from today. For many people this ushers in the holiday season and shopping starts in earnest for Christmas the day after. for many people, it is a very happy time of year. Great food, family and christmas lights and church services and maybe a cantata or two.
For other people, it is a time where they remember who isn't around this year and can be a very sad time.
Working in mental health field, we say that this is the hardest time of the year for us. Everyone that comes in for services this time of years seems to be doing poorly. I've noticed this myself over the last week and a half. Anxiety and depression seem very high.

If this is a happy time of the year for you I am glad for you because it should be. But for many people it is now.

Fortunately, as believers we can always rejoice in the Lord, even if we cannot rejoice in our circumstances.

It would be a very hard thing, but I have to keep in mind we are called to walk with those who need compassion from us

 

[Ruth]

We are approaching Thanksgiving in less than one week from today. For many people this ushers in the holiday season and shopping starts in earnest for Christmas the day after. for many people, it is a very happy time of year. Great food, family and christmas lights and church services and maybe a cantata or two.
For other people, it is a time where they remember who isn't around this year and can be a very sad time.
Working in mental health field, we say that this is the hardest time of the year for us. Everyone that comes in for services this time of years seems to be doing poorly. I've noticed this myself over the last week and a half. Anxiety and depression seem very high.

If this is a happy time of the year for you I am glad for you because it should be. But for many people it is now.

Fortunately, as believers we can always rejoice in the Lord, even if we cannot rejoice in our circumstances.

It would be a very hard thing, but I have to keep in mind we are called to walk with those who need compassion from us

I know what you mean about missing loved ones who are gone. The last time I ever saw my sister was Thanksgiving. It seems I get depressed from that time to New Years. Wish I could just sleep through these times..perhaps I will.:tantrum:

 

[tango]

I've often thought about how much these events are hyped, particularly the family element of them. The thing I find curious is the number of times I've wanted Christmas to be more than my wife and I, only to find the people who are planning a huge family gathering really wish they could stay home and it be just the two of them. I think a large part of it is the concept of "the perfect Christmas" where everybody comes together around the table, old Aunt Mildred doesn't fall asleep, great Uncle Mike doesn't get drunk and obnoxious, and then everything is cleared away by elves as the family relaxes together in perfect harmony. And of course that version of Christmas never happens because there's always at least one family member who is obnoxious in some way.

One thing I've found really very refreshing is to have linked up with other people in a similar situation - people from small families who are far enough away from family members that traveling for such a short time isn't a sensible option. Having found a few people like that, whose company we enjoy and who enjoy our company, and who would otherwise have a very small and quiet festival, it means we can have a modest get together without the logistical overheads of a huge gathering.

It's not always easy to rip away the relentless pressure from advertisers who want you to have a perfect Christmas (by buying their products, naturally) and stop chasing the impossible dream. For me it was a huge eye-opener to realise just how many people wish they could do something else at Christmas. People having a small Christmas want a big one, people having a big one want a small one. Last Christmas I decided to accept it was going to be a very low key affair and enjoy it. My wife and I had a Christmas dinner together, then went for a walk in the local park and enjoyed the Christmas lights, and it was a truly wonderful day. I just wish I'd come to that realisation earlier in life.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I have bad anxiety and depression and with the holidays coming up it just seems to be getting worse. I just want to sit home and cry myself to sleep. I miss my family so much. I don't know where my parents live as my dads work makes him moves a bunch. I have a brother in Florida and a brother in Canada and hes married and I've never met her. So yes I miss my family so dearly this year. :crying2:

 

[Lamb]

I have bad anxiety and depression and with the holidays coming up it just seems to be getting worse. I just want to sit home and cry myself to sleep. I miss my family so much. I don't know where my parents live as my dads work makes him moves a bunch. I have a brother in Florida and a brother in Canada and hes married and I've never met her. So yes I miss my family so dearly this year. :crying2:

Can you Skype them or Facetime them? I know it's not the same at all but it might help feel that connection?

 

[Krissy Cakes]

Can you Skype them or Facetime them? I know it's not the same at all but it might help feel that connection?

We can skype. I hope. I will have to ask them.

 

[NewCreation435]

I've often thought about how much these events are hyped, particularly the family element of them. The thing I find curious is the number of times I've wanted Christmas to be more than my wife and I, only to find the people who are planning a huge family gathering really wish they could stay home and it be just the two of them. I think a large part of it is the concept of "the perfect Christmas" where everybody comes together around the table, old Aunt Mildred doesn't fall asleep, great Uncle Mike doesn't get drunk and obnoxious, and then everything is cleared away by elves as the family relaxes together in perfect harmony. And of course that version of Christmas never happens because there's always at least one family member who is obnoxious in some way.

One thing I've found really very refreshing is to have linked up with other people in a similar situation - people from small families who are far enough away from family members that traveling for such a short time isn't a sensible option. Having found a few people like that, whose company we enjoy and who enjoy our company, and who would otherwise have a very small and quiet festival, it means we can have a modest get together without the logistical overheads of a huge gathering.

It's not always easy to rip away the relentless pressure from advertisers who want you to have a perfect Christmas (by buying their products, naturally) and stop chasing the impossible dream. For me it was a huge eye-opener to realise just how many people wish they could do something else at Christmas. People having a small Christmas want a big one, people having a big one want a small one. Last Christmas I decided to accept it was going to be a very low key affair and enjoy it. My wife and I had a Christmas dinner together, then went for a walk in the local park and enjoyed the Christmas lights, and it was a truly wonderful day. I just wish I'd come to that realisation earlier in life.

it seems that it is a part of human nature to compare ourselves to others and to maybe think that other people have it better than they do. Comparing to others seems to breed discontent feelings.

 

[NewCreation435]

I know what you mean about missing loved ones who are gone. The last time I ever saw my sister was Thanksgiving. It seems I get depressed from that time to New Years. Wish I could just sleep through these times..perhaps I will.:tantrum:

I have a saying in my counseling practice. "What you focus on expands and grows." So, I encourage people to focus on what they can control, not on what they can't. i think the last thing you need if you are feeling down is to isolate yourself. Rather, go help someone else. Get involved in a food pantry giving out food or give something in your closet away. I know our church does the Operation Christmas child where we pack shoeboxes and send them to third world countries. I sent two boxes out last week. Those kids are going to be happy. I packed those boxes good

 

[tango]

it seems that it is a part of human nature to compare ourselves to others and to maybe think that other people have it better than they do. Comparing to others seems to breed discontent feelings.

I think part of it is about comparing ourselves to others, which can be healthy if done in a useful and productive manner. Part of it is also a sense that whatever we have is less then ideal and we want to do something else. It seems whatever people have they want something else.

 

[Ruth]

I have a saying in my counseling practice. "What you focus on expands and grows." So, I encourage people to focus on what they can control, not on what they can't. i think the last thing you need if you are feeling down is to isolate yourself. Rather, go help someone else. Get involved in a food pantry giving out food or give something in your closet away. I know our church does the Operation Christmas child where we pack shoeboxes and send them to third world countries. I sent two boxes out last week. Those kids are going to be happy. I packed those boxes good

Too down and am not able to do that. I care for my rescues all the time.

 

[psalms 91]

Too down and am not able to do that. I care for my rescues all the time.

Ruth reach out to p-eople for when your focus is others your mood will improve

 

[Ruth]

Ruth reach out to p-eople for when your focus is others your mood will improve

My focus IS others! My animals are others. I love animals and all I can do is care for my own. Please stop trying to lay the guilt trip about people on me. Helping my animals helps me and I am doing the best I can now. I am taking a break from this forum now.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

*HUGS Ruth*

Sent from my SM-J337V using Tapatalk

 

[NewCreation435]

Too down and am not able to do that. I care for my rescues all the time.

I think it is great that your caring for your rescues. My cat Molly was rescued by one of my wife's friends from work. She found her near a dumpster along with her sibilings. That is her hobby to rescue animals and find new owners for them. She actually paid for it when we had Molly fixed so she can't have kittens.

 

[Ruth]

I think it is great that your caring for your rescues. My cat Molly was rescued by one of my wife's friends from work. She found her near a dumpster along with her sibilings. That is her hobby to rescue animals and find new owners for them. She actually paid for it when we had Molly fixed so she can't have kittens.

Thank you, it's a full time job to care for my rescues. I love them so much.

 

[Ruth]

*HUGS Ruth*

Sent from my SM-J337V using Tapatalk

:tea:

 

[Jerlene]

Now that I'm older, I get depressed around the holidays. We used to have family members over at my house for every holiday and we'd make a big celebration out of it and it would last from morning to night. Now, my family barely comes together anymore. Everyone is older, everyone has their own little families, everyone just has their own things going on. I still live at home though so I feel the absence the most. My girlfriend tries to cheer me up during every holiday and she does a great job, but it would nice to get the family back together for at least one holiday. Christmas was my absolute favourite time of year. Now, it's just another day.

 

[Kaynil]

I left Mexico thinking I would be able to visit back every couple years, prior that I was pretty much a stay at home kind of person. It is going to be a decade without seeing them face to face. We can Skype and text but the passage of time has definitely taken a token. Relatives I left healthy have passed away. My brother was just becoming a teenager and now he is an adult. Cousins my age now got their own families and kids that I haven't seen as babies but are now part of their daily days. Many instances where the image in my mind doesn't correspond with the reality there.

Winter holidays really hit me hard. I tend to get a lot of difficult time sleeping, tons of dreams and I am prone to try to deal with things by withdrawing myself rather than reaching out. I think it is good I am now better able to see the pattern and question some of my own actions so I don't just let myself fall into it. Last year, after I told a close friend I was basically procrastinating going to bed each night, I made an agreement with him and he'd stick with me by text and try to make sure I was heading to bed at the time I was supposed to. It might seem dumb, but it really helped me. I will probably have to have another Christmas in Australia, but hopefully next year I cn get to see them and that can help me.