dealing with church hurt

[NewCreation435]

I almost left the church about 10 years ago when I was a pastor in an abusive church. I have bounded around a lot and tried a number of different denominations, but have decided in the end to stick with Baptist. I have been attending the same church now for the last three weeks and have had thoughts about joining. I have not really been actively involved much in the last 10 years. I tend to go until I start to get to know people and then I run away because I don't want to be hurt again.

I am not sure how to get past this completely. I still feel the urge to leave even though as far as I can tell there have been some nice people there who greet me when I come and some speak to me before or after the service. I even when to a Sunday school class this last weekend and it was good. How to I completely heal from this, trust these people and allow myself to get involved again. I would like to, but also still have the urge to run away.

Moderators if you want to move this post it is okay. I wasn't sure where to put this.

 

[Lamb]

It's never fun to want to be somewhere yet not want to at the same time.

You stated that you have been at this new church for 3 weeks. Maybe that isn't long enough yet for you to build up the trust you want before joining. Give it more time.

People can be hurtful even in church and they don't always realize how their words and behavior affects others. It's okay to be on guard and put up healthy boundaries.

 

[Josiah]

Two thoughts.....


1. IMO, we should join the church where the Word is correctly taught and the Sacraments correctly administered. DOCTRINE ultimately should determine where we are a member. If DOCTRINE become apostate - then make efforts to correct and if that proves impossible, leave since we should not be in an unorthodox, apostate church. DOCTRINE is ultimately what determines membership.


2. Churches are like families..... Some family members are nice.... some family members are jerks.... some family members are lovely to be with.... some are very difficult to be with...... Just how it is. But we are FAMILY. We'd give a kidney for crazy Aunt Zelda. And EVERY member of EVERY family is a sinner (including the member we see in the mirror). EVERY SINGLE ONE. And for reasons I don't understand, all members seem compelled from time to time to document this. Just how it is. We can spend all the time until Jesus returns trying to find a perfect church family full of pure and exclusive saints - with hearts full of love, lives full of ministry. But chances are HUGE we'll still be looking when Jesus comes back. My Dad (who gets increasingly wise the older I get) use to say there are really only two kinds of people in the world: Those looking for greener grass and those looking to make the grass greener.


MY counsel (since you sorta, kinda asked .... lol) is find a church were the DOCTRINE it publicly proclaims in its Official Statement of Faith and proclaims in its sermons, Bible studies, etc. is CORRECT. If you can't find one, spend a LOT of time looking in the mirror. If you can - JUMP IN. Get to work. With LOTS of love - for Jesus and His people (the church).



My half cent.



- Josiah

 

[NewCreation435]

It's never fun to want to be somewhere yet not want to at the same time.

You stated that you have been at this new church for 3 weeks. Maybe that isn't long enough yet for you to build up the trust you want before joining. Give it more time.

People can be hurtful even in church and they don't always realize how their words and behavior affects others. It's okay to be on guard and put up healthy boundaries.

Yes, i definitely think I will need to give it more time. I have a lot of walls up and on guard against some people. But, I am doing better than I was. I don't walk into a church thinking "Who are the trouble makers here." anymore. I can at least enjoy some of the experience. And this is a church where the pastor is faithful to the Bible.

 

[Lamb]

Yes, i definitely think I will need to give it more time. I have a lot of walls up and on guard against some people. But, I am doing better than I was. I don't walk into a church thinking "Who are the trouble makers here." anymore. I can at least enjoy some of the experience. And this is a church where the pastor is faithful to the Bible.

Troublemakers don't always make it known who they are right away

 

[NewCreation435]

Troublemakers don't always make it known who they are right away

No, it is usually someone you don't expect unfortunately. For me, it was the people who at first were the most supportive that turned on me.

Sent from my Le Pan TC802A using Tapatalk

 

[psalms 91]

Yeah beware those seeking power

 

[Lamb]

jsimms how are you holding out at this church?

 

[Josiah]

Yeah beware those seeking power

:thumbsup:

 

[NewCreation435]

jsimms how are you holding out at this church?

I went for about two months and have since moved on to another church. I can't seem to stay in one place for very long.

 

[Lamb]

Okay. In 2 months you check into this thread and tell us how you're doing at the new church