All I want to know is one thing

[Bungleistic]

All I want to know is one thing

Why can everyone else get relationships so easy and with no effort at all and it’s like it’s just handed to them… but I literally have not been able to get one woman to want to date me in 24 years? There has to be a curse on me. I seriously don’t get it. For years I have dealt with women leaving me on read, not even giving me the time of day, send one or two messages then never text me again, and so on. I’ve been lied to, done wrong, lead on, blown off, the whole nine yards. If once in a blue moon a girl takes an interest in talking to me and we’re able to maintain conversations and things go good and we even miraculously hangout by some divine intervention, the shoe just drops right after that and it never turns into a relationship. And yet… people are getting into relationships, having sex, getting to hangout with whoever of the opposite sex that they want whenever they want on a daily basis. It happens for everyone else but not me. Read this sentence and understand it: I have NEVER been had anything with a woman but every other guy can have whatever they want. And every woman can have whatever they want with any other guy. God has let literally anyone have success with the opposite sex but me. That’s why I say there is truly a curse on me. I try over and over to get this point across to people but no one will take the time to listen to what I’m saying and understand the pain I go through. All they do is give me advice like “It’ll happen when it’s time”, “work on yourself” it’s not everything it’s cracked up to be” yeah it’s easy for someone who’s has plenty of relationships before to say that to someone who hasn’t experienced it once. That’s one thing I absolutely cannot stand. Another one I’m damned tired of hearing is “When it comes to people you think are happy in relationships, most of those relationships probably aren’t that good” well at least those relationships HAPPENED. People who say they’ve been divorced and been through bad relationships, those relationships at least came to fruition. I’ve never had ONE come to fruition, ever!!! I mean what else is there to say other than it looks like I am destined to be alone and that everyone else is meant to have that significant other in their life but me!! I have dealt with this for SO long and nothing has ever changed. And it looks like nothing ever will change. You have no idea what I would give to be in one relationship. Just one. And even have sex once. I’m a virgin at 24 and it’s embarrassing. That’s something else that comes to anyone who wants it with ease and they don’t have to do a single thing to get it. I am just so tired of dealing with this pain and I want it to end. But I feel like none of the changes I ever try to make will matter. That’s all I want is an answer to the question of why has God decided to let me suffer like this when it comes to women and be alone forever. That’s something I’ve been trying to figure out for my entire life. I am meant to be alone and I am meant to suffer. There’s no way out of this hell. They say God can change any situation, but he can’t and won’t change this one.


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[tango]

Serious question, did you actually read the responses you got in your other threads? You seem to keep posting more or less the same "I can't find a girl, I must be cursed" repeatedly.

Trust me on this, you're better off not being in a relationship than being in a bad relationship. I had my share of bad relationships before I met the girl I went on to marry. Throughout my college years I heard so many people complaining about how they couldn't do this or that because "their girlfriend wouldn't let them" that I wondered why they didn't end the relationship. But apparently it was more important to them to Have A Girlfriend than to be happy. (Yes, I'm sure there were - ahem - other benefits that the girlfriend offered but these guys paid a pretty high price for it).

If your primary focus is Finding A Girlfriend the chances are you never will. You'll come across as desperate and girls seldom want a guy who is desperate. Or you'll come across as the guy who is only looking for one thing and assuming you're looking for a Christian girl she's not going to be interested in that kind of guy.

It shouldn't be embarrassing to be a virgin at 24. If you believe in saving yourself for marriage then being a virgin on your wedding night should be something to be proud of rather than ashamed of. It's not always easy in an age where the media acts as if Everybody Is Doing It Regularly but remember the media's primary goal is to leave you dissatisfied with your life in some way so you can be sold some product or other that promises to make everything right in the world.

Speaking of the media, you look around and think that every single guy except you is "having all the luck" with women? You'd be surprised how many people who seem to "have it all" actually feel like they are missing something fundamental in their lives. You'd be surprised just how many people are hugely insecure about themselves in one way or another.

This has been suggested many times before but I'll say it again for the sake of completeness. Where are you expecting to meet the kind of woman you're hoping to have a relationship with? What sort of woman are you looking for, and where do you think you might find her? Are you doing the kinds of things and going to the kinds of places where you might meet her, or are you sitting at home hoping that somehow she notices you and comes to you? If you're not very good at chatting women up in bars hanging out in a bar hoping someone will notice you and make the first move isn't likely to get you very far, especially if you feel awkward when you are approached by someone. If you're looking for a Christian girl, church seems like an obvious place to meet her. If there's nobody suitable at your church you may want to consider going to a different church. Maybe volunteer in some kind of mission work, so you have a chance to meet someone special but also do something useful with your time while you are waiting. Or take some kind of evening classes in an area that interests you and that might also be interesting to the sort of woman you're looking for. Maybe join a local group that might interest you. Yes, all of these things take effort, but if you don't put any effort in you can hardly be surprised if you don't get any results. In the meantime, pending meeting the woman of your dreams you'll get to enjoy whatever activities the group is doing, which will make you more interesting as a person.

It often looks like other people get all the results without making any effort but you'd be amazed at how much effort people put in that goes unseen, until it comes to getting results. Even the effort of going places to meet people will yield a lot more results than sitting at home wondering why nothing good ever happens.

 

[Albion]

All I want to know is one thing...

I am meant to be alone and I am meant to suffer. There’s no way out of this hell. They say God can change any situation, but he can’t and won’t change this one.

Not knowing you personally and not knowing what you look like or how you dress or speak to people or anything of that sort, I'd guess from your posts that you are basically unlikeable.

So that means that those girls who know you don't like you, while those who don't know you very well--perhaps only by social media, if you've tried that--don't have enough information about you for them to take a chance on you.

Do you see any opportunities in this for you to make a change for the better?

Or would it be more gratifying to blame God and wallow in self-pity forever?