Abuse Is Not A Reason For Divorce

[Amos Ministries]

In no way, shape or form is this post condoning a husband abusing his wife. Violence in any form, is against the word of God! ⁠
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Colossians 3:19 - Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.⁠
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However, Jesus’ instructions to ‘turn the other cheek’, applies to both men and women, husbands and wives.⁠
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Matthew 5:38-39 - “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ 39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.⁠
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A husband who does not obey the word of God, is not a reason for a wife to rebel against her husband. ⁠
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1 Peter 3:1-6 - Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, ⁠
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Suffering as a servant of Christ is mandated for every believer - men and women, husbands and wives. ⁠
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1 Peter 2:19-20 - 19 For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. 20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.⁠
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We must follow Christ’s example:⁠
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1 John 2:6 - Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.⁠
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Yet somehow, today’s Christian society has made women and wives exempt from following the teachings of Jesus. We must not align ourselves with the cultural and traditional norms of today’s society over the Bible’s teachings. The bible does not allow a wife to separate/divorce her husband for any reason, even if she is being abused.⁠
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1 Corinthians 7:10 - To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. ⁠

 

[Josiah]

I respectfully disagree.....

The Commandment "Thou shall not kill" includes RESPECTING and PROTECTING life - our own and that of others. And I don't think this is limited to physical harm. A woman may even be sinning if she permits (and thus condones) violence - to her or her children whom she is to protect.

And the Bible does allow divorce when the spouse has deserted them. I do think Paul is thinking primarily of one who physically leaves - permanently - that this (like sexual infidelity) breaks the marriage bond. But I think it CAN be a case of a non-physical desertion. And I think it CAN be the case where a spouse is FORCED to flee for her own protection (in keeping with the Commandments) and/or that of her children. Accepting (and thus condoning) abuse just because the one who is threatening and harmful doesn't leave seems wrong... a spouse may be pushed out, forced to leave, for their own protection. "Hurt me once, shame on you... hurt me twice, shame on me."

Now.... I agree..... no marriage is perfect, no spouse is perfect.... problems happen, fights happen.... and there does need to be a milieu of love and forgiveness. Yup. But I think there can came a point where the marriage bond has been broken. This is not a case of "she burned the biscuits" or "he's gotten too fat" BUT I do think the abuse, the violence, the threat is SO great that it can be appropriate for a spouse to leave.... for protection.




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[Amos Ministries]

I respectfully disagree.....

The Commandment "Thou shall not kill" includes RESPECTING and PROTECTING life - our own and that of others. And I don't think this is limited to physical harm. A woman may even be sinning if she permits (and thus condones) violence - to her or her children whom she is to protect.

And the Bible does allow divorce when the spouse has deserted them. I do think Paul is thinking primarily of one who physically leaves - permanently - that this (like sexual infidelity) breaks the marriage bond. But I think it CAN be a case of a non-physical desertion. And I think it CAN be the case where a spouse is FORCED to flee for her own protection (in keeping with the Commandments) and/or that of her children. Accepting (and thus condoning) abuse just because the one who is threatening and harmful doesn't leave seems wrong... a spouse may be pushed out, forced to leave, for their own protection. "Hurt me once, shame on you... hurt me twice, shame on me."

Now.... I agree..... no marriage is perfect, no spouse is perfect.... problems happen, fights happen.... and there does need to be a milieu of love and forgiveness. Yup. But I think there can came a point where the marriage bond has been broken. This is not a case of "she burned the biscuits" or "he's gotten too fat" BUT I do think the abuse, the violence, the threat is SO great that it can be appropriate for a spouse to leave.... for protection.




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A believing wife is Never allowed to divorce there wife under any circumstances. Please provide scripture for your claim. You may be speaking of an unbelieving wife leaving her husband, but a believing wife can never divorce her husband. Please provide scripture as you are adding to the bible with your own opinion.

 

[JRT]

When a marriage ends only the couple themselves can make a judgement on that. My first marriage ended 49 years ago when she ran off with another man. That was kaput, final, finis, over. Next month my second marriage will be 45 years. Divorce was the only solution. The Bible presents an ideal which is not always possible ---real life has a way of imposing on our ideals.

 

[Bluezone777]

I think sometimes when people quote the law of the Bible and beat people over the head with it that they conveniently forget that we all fall short and need the grace of God and all the times we fall short should direct us to our need for Jesus when it's about other people but have no problem getting this concept when it comes to themselves and their own shortcomings.

As I wrote this, Matthew 18:21-35 came to mind as it quite perfectly illustrates this.

 

[Amos Ministries]

When a marriage ends only the couple themselves can make a judgement on that. My first marriage ended 49 years ago when she ran off with another man. That was kaput, final, finis, over. Next month my second marriage will be 45 years. Divorce was the only solution. The Bible presents an ideal which is not always possible ---real life has a way of imposing on our ideals.

If your wife committed adultery and as per Matthew 19:9 and 5:32 you are allowed to remarry.

 

[Member4592]

I'm going to come at this from non religious point of view because I was married and now I'm divorced. I think if a man or woman beats their spouse. I think it's time to take a step back and revaluate the marriage and I mean a divorce. I think if that person makes you feel violent towards them. Break up or divorce and move on. A relationship should be about the benefit of making each other happy. But if neither of you ever get along. There's really no point.