Anniversary

[Lamb]

My husband and I will be celebrating our 27th wedding anniversary this Friday. We dated for 6 years before getting married. It's been a lifetime :disgonbegood:

I don't talk about my marriage too much. When I was in my 20s I was on an online forum and I think I complained too much about my husband then. Since then I learned it's better to not divulge too much. If all everyone hears are complaints they don't know the full picture.

I guess that's one word of advice for marriage.

What other tips could/would you add?

 

[Josiah]

TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS!!! With the same person??????? Wow!

J/K Congrats!

We're just coming up on two years..... so far, it's still the honeymoon. I lucked out. I married the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful, person in the world - SO easy to get along with (and VERY beautiful, too!). How did a bloat like me get her to say "yes?" I still don't know..... I have no clue.... but I'm thankful! VERY thankful!

 

[NewCreation435]

Congratulations. This fall will be our 24th anniversary.

I think I would say one word of advice is to learn how to say your sorry and that you were wrong. Pride keeps people from seeing their own contribution to the problems they have. I have learned the only person I can truly change is myself and if I spend time trying to change my spouse then all that causes is frustration. I can't change others. I have enough issues to deal with just focusing on me.

 

[Lamb]

TWENTY-SEVEN YEARS!!! With the same person??????? Wow!

J/K Congrats!

We're just coming up on two years..... so far, it's still the honeymoon. I lucked out. I married the sweetest, most loving, most wonderful, person in the world - SO easy to get along with (and VERY beautiful, too!). How did a bloat like me get her to say "yes?" I still don't know..... I have no clue.... but I'm thankful! VERY thankful!

I like how you described her character first before saying she's beautiful. The inside counts a lot more

 

[Lamb]

Congratulations. This fall will be our 24th anniversary.

I think I would say one word of advice is to learn how to say your sorry and that you were wrong. Pride keeps people from seeing their own contribution to the problems they have. I have learned the only person I can truly change is myself and if I spend time trying to change my spouse then all that causes is frustration. I can't change others. I have enough issues to deal with just focusing on me.

YESSS!! It's very difficult to say you're sorry to the ones you love and that you were wrong. When I was growing up my family never did those things! Ever! So it took a lot of work to change.

 

[NewCreation435]

YESSS!! It's very difficult to say you're sorry to the ones you love and that you were wrong. When I was growing up my family never did those things! Ever! So it took a lot of work to change.

A lot of times we would have arguments and say mean things and then leave the room and then later act like nobody said anything. It was rare to hear an apology unless it was really really bad

 

[Lamb]

A lot of times we would have arguments and say mean things and then leave the room and then later act like nobody said anything. It was rare to hear an apology unless it was really really bad

The silent "forgive me" and "I forgive you". I think it happens everywhere even outside of marriages and families. Is it because we can't humble ourselves?

 

[ValleyGal]

I think Dr. Gottman's principles cover a lot of ground in making marriage work. But imo, there is one thing that really sums it up: be your spouse's best friend forever. What makes a good friend? A listening ear, kind and supportive words, encouragement, always assuming goodwill rather than assuming ill intent, open communication, genuinely caring for every aspect of your life, doing things together and in a group of friends, going the distance alongside you. A friend is someone who believes in you, roots for you, helps you when you need - and however you need, someone you can count on to make your world a better place where companionship trumps competition and giving is as good (or better) than getting, where love trumps conflict and the equation is 1+1>2.

But what do I know, after several failed marriages.