Marriage more difficult today?

[Lamb]

Is it more difficult to become married or even stay married?

I worry about my daughter who has to listen to society that tells her that humans weren't meant to be monogamous or they aren't supposed to be married for more than 25 years. I hear these things on a lot of current tv shows and movies and it's disconcerting.

 

[psalms 91]

Yes, I think with the constant bombbardment of sexually suggestive material and the freeness of a lot of people sexually that it is defintely a lot harder than it used to be

 

[Brighten04]

I think it has always been difficult. But people today are less disciplined and they have on rose colored glasses when it comes to what marriage really is. Too much Walt Disney fairy tale dreams imho. "They lived happily ever after." So when their ever after is not as happy as the have imagined it to be, they are disappointed. The beautiful woman you married farts and belches. EW! That handsome Prince charming you married snores and plays video games. and wants sex all the time.LOL.

 

[tango]

The thing that worries me most is the way marriage has shifted from a lifelong commitment to something that works for as long as it works for you. If your spouse doesn't make you happy any more the modern way would be to figure there's no point working at things, you deserve to be happy so walk away and find someone else.

I must admit I worry more for men than for women, when marriages do break up it seems the former husband usually gets a much worse deal out of it. In the UK there was a pressure group called Fathers 4 Justice, formed of men who were denied access to their children by a combination of an obstinate ex-wife and a legal system that did nothing to enforce their rights to see their children.

 

[tango]

I think it has been difficult. But people today are less disciplined and they have on rose colored glasses when it comes to what marriage really is. Too much Walt Disney fairy tale dreams imho. "They lived happily ever after." So when their ever after is not as happy as the have imagined it to be, they are disappointed. The beautiful woman you married farts and belches. EW! That handsome Prince charming you married snores and plays video games. and wants sex all the time.LOL.

I think another part of it is that people see the Big Day, the wedding ceremony, as if it were the ending of a process. And in a way it is - all the planning and preparation comes to a head on the Big Day itself (which, naturally, has to be "perfect" or else it's "ruined"). But people don't seem to realise that the Big Day is merely the beginning of something new.

Of course the pressure to spend ever-more on a wedding ceremony does little to help - when it's far from rare for the cost of one day to run well into five figures it's easy to see how that just sets the couple up to fail later. It's pretty well known that money (or, specifically, the lack thereof) causes a lot of marital problems and with that in mind it's easy to see why a couple would struggle if they're 5 years into married life and still can't do much because they're still paying for their wedding day.

 

[Rens]

The thing that worries me most is the way marriage has shifted from a lifelong commitment to something that works for as long as it works for you. If your spouse doesn't make you happy any more the modern way would be to figure there's no point working at things, you deserve to be happy so walk away and find someone else.

I must admit I worry more for men than for women, when marriages do break up it seems the former husband usually gets a much worse deal out of it. In the UK there was a pressure group called Fathers 4 Justice, formed of men who were denied access to their children by a combination of an obstinate ex-wife and a legal system that did nothing to enforce their rights to see their children.

That system is evil where a wife dumps the man, takes another and gets the kids as a bonus. You don't have to stone 'em, but this is the complete opposite.
My ex got the kids. He did not want to cooperate. Then later another judge forced him to do mediation and coparent. Perfect. It's not perfect here, but much better than the horror stories I read from English, Americans and Canadians.
The Love would grow cold and people would bring each other to court, it's the falling away.

 

[~Jo~]

I actually feel really sorry for young people today, they all have this I must have the most expensive things in life that I cant afford thing. I know a young couple that actually lived together for years, had a little girl, rented a house and then last year decided to get married, price tag for wedding £22.000 but they didn't actually pay for it there rich parents did, so it was have what you want utter, madness the child is spoilt rotten too. I hope they stay happy but you never can tell ....I do feel that young people get a raw deal tho, and its like its expected of them to have these things its the old story of one upmanship and its got to be bigger and better than your friends. Seems no one tells these young people to stop or your heading for big trouble in the future, and that marriage is damn hard work to keep things together and not always happy but it says in the marriage vows for better of worse, but I dunno if that even comes into play anymore tho..

 

[Brighten04]

Well I have two children who are happily married and they did not have big weddings. But my older son is marrying in July and the bride is planning a wedding. He is already stressing because she wants what she wants. I am staying out of it as she has not asked me for help. I just hope it all turns out well.

 

[user1234]

My parents were asked if they were going to renew their vows at the fiftieth and again at the sixtieth if they would renew their vows.
They said, 'Why? We meant it when we stood before God and man and committed our lives together in love, forever means forever.
It will be 67 years for them very soon, praise the Lord!

Lol, Im still waiting for my first, but I still have the same intent of dedication and faithfulness as my mom and dad.

I was losing hope until recently, since then it rises and falls. But a good pastor friend said singleness is really a gift, if you have a strong desire to be with someone, you really dont want to be single, then you dont have the gift, but be patient, you want it to be Gods will and timing, not your own.

Im hoping its soon, tho, as Id like to see everyone happy, and that includes my parents, her parents, and Our Father in Heaven. But I know how hard it can be and how mistake-prone I am, so without faith, hope, love, forgiveness, mercy, understanding, and overall God's grace, it seems pretty impossible.
But with God all things are possible.
Keeping faith hope and love alive is a must, it would seem, and Jesus must be at the center.

 

[tango]

I actually feel really sorry for young people today, they all have this I must have the most expensive things in life that I cant afford thing. I know a young couple that actually lived together for years, had a little girl, rented a house and then last year decided to get married, price tag for wedding £22.000 but they didn't actually pay for it there rich parents did, so it was have what you want utter, madness the child is spoilt rotten too. I hope they stay happy but you never can tell ....I do feel that young people get a raw deal tho, and its like its expected of them to have these things its the old story of one upmanship and its got to be bigger and better than your friends. Seems no one tells these young people to stop or your heading for big trouble in the future, and that marriage is damn hard work to keep things together and not always happy but it says in the marriage vows for better of worse, but I dunno if that even comes into play anymore tho..

I remember the number of people who talked about when they first married and how their first house was a hotchpotch of things that didn't match because most of them were hand-me-downs from other family members. When my cousin got married a few years back his wedding list was remarkable in just how specific it was - for example he and his wife-to-be had listed a very specific kind of goose-down pillow (these things cost £80 each - about $120 at the time - and of course they needed four of them). Nowadays it seems weddings are little more than an exercise in oneupmanship and wedding gift registries are about little more than deciding what you want to spend on the couple and then choosing from a very clearly defined list of things in that price range.

Personally when I give a gift for something like a wedding I want to give something that will last. If I were invited to the wedding of a couple who were starting out with nothing I wouldn't have a problem buying them bed linens or pillows or some such (but not at $120 each!) but the mentality of listing specific catalog numbers for wedding gifts seems to take the entire purpose of the giving and receiving of gifts away. It makes sense to specify things like the size of bedding required (not much point letting people buy you a queen size quilt if you have a king size bed) but when it goes as far as defining the precise material, color etc it seems like you might as well just give the couple money and let them do what they want.

That leads me on to another interesting situation I read about. A couple really wanted to have a wedding with a reception for their friends and family but simply couldn't afford it. So what they did was they worked out what a reception would cost per person (and at the time it worked out to maybe $25/head) and then sent out the invites. The invites said that they really wanted to have their friends and family at the wedding but couldn't afford to pay for the function, so they were asking for people who were going to come to pay the $25/head it was going to cost. They also made it clear they didn't expect wedding gifts, they just wanted a big gathering of their family and friends to be with them for their special day. Personally I'd have a lot more respect for such an open request, than the weddings where you're invited to go to the function but the gift list is little more than "money".

On a different note an old friend of mine once went to a wedding where the groom had arranged a special rate with the hotel. A few people booked their hotel room that way, giving the groom the money for a block booking. Then when they got to the hotel and saw the standard room rates posted in their room they realised the groom had been turning quite a nice profit on the booking.

 

[Brighten04]

When I got married, about a week or two after the wedding some of the older people would ask how I was liking married life. I hated that question for I had not been married long enough to know. People mean well, but sometimes I think they do not think. LOL.

 

[Rens]

nm

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I believe people don't stay married this day and age cause they don't work out their problems.

 

[Stravinsk]

Is it more difficult to become married or even stay married?

I worry about my daughter who has to listen to society that tells her that humans weren't meant to be monogamous or they aren't supposed to be married for more than 25 years. I hear these things on a lot of current tv shows and movies and it's disconcerting.

I wouldn't say it's difficult to marry, but more difficult to want to be married. I would like to be married again, but many of the women I meet are incompatible with me. In Western Society - insofar as marriage goes - if things go wrong, and there is a divorce - men are very often discriminated against. The divorce courts often favor women financially and with parental rights, just as they favor women with lesser sentences for the same crimes. Feminist "equality" is joke. Materialism and immorality is pushed in popular culture making it seem normal. Men see all these things and weight the risks - the answer to the question is - is it worth it? Even if you find a women who isn't a worldly harpy and has enough sense not to listen to the kind of crap you described - if things go wrong they can burn a man badly through the system.

3rd wave feminism, androgyny, transgenderism, homosexual "marriages" are all super poison to our society. Can't deny the birthrates going down to the level of being unsustainable and movements like MGTOW where men are just outright refusing to marry super deluded, selfish, materialist harpies.

Meanwhile - in the East - the exact opposite is happening. Men taking multiple wives and having multiple children by them. If something doesn't change, they will rule the future.

 

[user1234]

I believe people don't stay married this day and age cause they don't work out their problems.

Yup!!! Amen and Amen. Look at any elderly couple that's been married for a signifigant length of time, ... they arent still married because they had forty, fifty years of a free ride and smooth, drama-free, wedded bliss, but because they have forty, fifty, sixty or more years of working through their problems.
But the willingness to bring it all to the throne of God's grace together, and communicate, is what will determine how few and far between those problems are, and how quickly they're resolved, and how deep and high and wide that love can grow.

 

[Cassia]

I wouldn't say it's difficult to marry, but more difficult to want to be married. I would like to be married again, but many of the women I meet are incompatible with me. In Western Society - insofar as marriage goes - if things go wrong, and there is a divorce - men are very often discriminated against. The divorce courts often favor women financially and with parental rights, just as they favor women with lesser sentences for the same crimes. Feminist "equality" is joke. Materialism and immorality is pushed in popular culture making it seem normal. Men see all these things and weight the risks - the answer to the question is - is it worth it? Even if you find a women who isn't a worldly harpy and has enough sense not to listen to the kind of crap you described - if things go wrong they can burn a man badly through the system.

3rd wave feminism, androgyny, transgenderism, homosexual "marriages" are all super poison to our society. Can't deny the birthrates going down to the level of being unsustainable and movements like MGTOW where men are just outright refusing to marry super deluded, selfish, materialist harpies.

Meanwhile - in the East - the exact opposite is happening. Men taking multiple wives and having multiple children by them. If something doesn't change, they will rule the future.

They already do. The reason they will survive the world is because caucasians have no natural foods that they eat. The 2 survival founds are only found in certain cultures. Cilantro and turmeric.

 

[MoreCoffee]

Be celibate. Marriage is such a drag

 

[Stravinsk]

They already do. The reason they will survive the world is because caucasians have no natural foods that they eat. The 2 survival founds are only found in certain cultures. Cilantro and turmeric.

I'm caucasian and it's not this at all. There are plenty of natural foods around, including the two you mentioned.

When I spoke of the East - I'm speaking of the culture and ways of Islam. They breed like mad, often taking multiple wives, mistresses and female children as mates. The culture is the exact opposite of the west - where women are given priority here in many areas (favored) by the law and family courts - there it is the opposite. I'm not saying either is good - both are extreme - but the West is dying because of all the factors I mentioned. Homosexuality, transgenderism, androgyny, radical feminism - the birth rates are not sustainable. Muslims are moving in, raping, breeding and indoctrinating their children in their own schools. If certain things don't change (and I mean in our culture), this spells danger for us.

 

[Cassia]

...

That leads me on to another interesting situation I read about. A couple really wanted to have a wedding with a reception for their friends and family but simply couldn't afford it. So what they did was they worked out what a reception would cost per person (and at the time it worked out to maybe $25/head) and then sent out the invites. The invites said that they really wanted to have their friends and family at the wedding but couldn't afford to pay for the function, so they were asking for people who were going to come to pay the $25/head it was going to cost. They also made it clear they didn't expect wedding gifts, they just wanted a big gathering of their family and friends to be with them for their special day. Personally I'd have a lot more respect for such an open request, than the weddings where you're invited to go to the function but the gift list is little more than "money".

....

That's what we do just for a family dinner. The price of food being what it is, when we go to my daughter's for Easter dinner next month, she has requested we all chip in $10. while she does the cooking. I think that's only fair.

 

[Cassia]

I'm caucasian and it's not this at all. There are plenty of natural foods around, including the two you mentioned.

When I spoke of the East - I'm speaking of the culture and ways of Islam. They breed like mad, often taking multiple wives, mistresses and female children as mates. The culture is the exact opposite of the west - where women are given priority here in many areas (favored) by the law and family courts - there it is the opposite. I'm not saying either is good - both are extreme - but the West is dying because of all the factors I mentioned. Homosexuality, transgenderism, androgyny, radical feminism - the birth rates are not sustainable. Muslims are moving in, raping, breeding and indoctrinating their children in their own schools. If certain things don't change (and I mean in our culture), this spells danger for us.

That was the result of the last 2 yrs of study and afaik there are no more sustaining foods than those to incorperate into the diet to cleanse metals and prevent disease. From my experience that is world altering far more than who's doing what to whom. Turmeric tea and cilantro salsa make a lot of difference, no matter how many seeds your sprouting. or whatever your doing. Tis a fact.