Saying "You have to be happy by yourself first" is exactly like saying "Beatings will continue until morale improves."

[tango]

If you partner stops offering you the happiness that they did at the beginning, then something changed about them or/and yourself, and you need to explore through therapy what changed, so you can work on getting things back to how they were at the beginning.

Or maybe it's because the honeymoon period has worn off and you've come to realise that you're still the same person you always were, that your partner hasn't fixed you (because they can never do that), and you're thinking that maybe you need to be with someone else who can fix you. Rinse and repeat through one broken relationship after another.

I absolutely disagree about the rest of the things you said. Please read post #12 carefully one more time. And if you still hold to the same beliefs after you do, there's no need to continue replying because we have opposing views on the matter, and I don't think you will change mine.

So what exactly do you expect from the thread? You've started off with a question, you keep indicating you're desperately unhappy and yet you won't hear anything that doesn't confirm what you want to believe.

If you want to keep doing what you've always done have at it. Just don't be surprised if you keep getting what you've always got. And if you find the same issues show up wherever you go and whoever you are with the chances are those are the issues you're taking with you wherever you go.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

So what exactly do you expect from the thread?

I mean, I really don't see how I could explain it better than through what has been said so far.

 

[tango]

I mean, I really don't see how I could explain it better than through what has been said so far.

About all you've done so far is mark "disagree" on posts that express a different viewpoint. People are trying to give you some pointers but all you seem to do is say how much you disagree.

As I said before, if you want to keep doing what you've always done it's your life and you can live it as you wish. Just don't be surprised if you get what you've always got. If you want a different outcome you have to do something different.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

About all you've done so far is mark "disagree" on posts that express a different viewpoint. People are trying to give you some pointers but all you seem to do is say how much you disagree.

Person A, B and C: "Listen, guys, please stop giving us these pieces of advice regarding this particular issue. We have analyzed them and put t hem to the test, and have found them unhelpful and even harmful. We understand that you mean well and see things differently from your perspective, but we find it frustrating when we constantly receive the same cliché, condescending, words that have nothing to do with our reality. Would you be so kind as to refrain from saying them from now on?"

Person X, Y and Z: "No. Your experiences are wrong, we know better about your reality than you do, and we are going to keep giving you the same pieces of advice."

Person A, B and C: "Well, I disagree with that attitude."

Person X, Y and Z: "We are right. Follow our advice. Hmm... I wonder why these guys are upset."

________________________________

I'm gonna direct you to read post #12 whenever you reply to this thread until a staff member closes it.

 

[tango]

Person A, B and C: "Listen, guys, please stop giving us these pieces of advice regarding this particular issue. We have analyzed them and put t hem to the test, and have found them unhelpful and even harmful. We understand that you mean well and see things differently from your perspective, but we find it frustrating when we constantly receive the same cliché, condescending, words that have nothing to do with our reality. Would you be so kind as to refrain from saying them from now on?"

Person X, Y and Z: "No. Your experiences are wrong, we know better about your reality than you do, and we are going to keep giving you the same pieces of advice."

Person A, B and C: "Well, I disagree with that attitude."

Person X, Y and Z: "We are right. Follow our advice. Hmm... I wonder why these guys are upset."

I don't think anybody is trying to say your reality is wrong. You asked what people thought, people told you what they thought, and you decided to post another opinion and then defend it as if it were eternal truth.

Try this instead:

Person A: Why am I unhappy?
Person B: Try doing something differently.
Person A: No, I think you're wrong. I'll keep doing it the way I always have.
.
.
.
Person A: Why am I unhappy?

I'm gonna direct you to read post #12 whenever you reply to this thread until a staff member closes it.

You still seem to be confusing the idea that relationships can make life better with the idea that relationships can make you happy if you aren't happy with who and what you are. But since you clearly don't want to accept multiple people telling you this, I'll just refer you to my invitation to keep doing what you've always done and keep getting what you've always got. Apparently you want a different outcome but don't want to change the inputs. So I'll wish you good luck with it, and leave you to it.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

You still seem to be confusing the idea that relationships can make life better with the idea that relationships can make you happy if you aren't happy with who and what you are. But since you clearly don't want to accept multiple people telling you this, I'll just refer you to my invitation to keep doing what you've always done and keep getting what you've always got. Apparently you want a different outcome but don't want to change the inputs. So I'll wish you good luck with it, and leave you to it.

Please reread post #12.

 

[tango]

Please reread post #12.

There's really no point. As I said before it's clear that we're not going to make any progress in the thread. I'm not the one who is unhappy so if you don't like what I have to say I don't feel inclined to keep saying it.

Good luck with whatever you decide, if you decide to change anything.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

Please read post #12 again, more carefully this time.

 

[Messy]

I agree half with you. It's easy talking when you're ha

If your partner stops offering you the happiness that they did at the beginning, then something changed about them or/and yourself, and you need to explore through therapy what changed, so you can work on getting things back to how they were at the beginning.

I absolutely disagree about the rest of the things you said. Please read post #12 carefully one more time. And if you still hold to the same beliefs after you do, there's no need to continue replying because we have opposing views on the matter, and I don't think you will change mine.

But your partner is not playing in a Doris Day movie with a happy ending and may just not want therapy, cause it's all your fault and if you change your whole personality then maybe you may come back in a few years or maybe not. It's sometimes great and sometimes it's not great and now I still have to pray for my ex that he won't be so dumb to fall for another one. Jesus can come back any day and we can go marry Him. I asked Him once when I was desperate. I remarried. Total disaster too. Then I asked God if I had to go back to the first one, 2nd one or if I could marry another one and He said: Marry Me. Time is short. They were marrying and giving into marriage. So, cause I still do want some hugs and kisses and a meaningful relationship, I went to the pet store and bought a rabbit. Give him a bag of hay and he's happy. My brother never wanted to marry. He always stayed single. After 2 divorces I was jealous of him.

 

[Lucian Hodoboc]

But your partner is not playing in a Doris Day movie with a happy ending and may just not want therapy, cause it's all your fault and if you change your whole personality then maybe you may come back in a few years or maybe not.

Come back from where? What do you mean?

and He said: Marry Me. Time is short.

And how did He say this? Did you hear an audible voice or did you have a feeling? Cause I've had numerous feelings that I thought were from The Holy Spirit, but turned out to be nothing more than OCD or some other undiagnosed mental disorders.

 

[Messy]

Come back from where? What do you mean?

And how did He say this? Did you hear an audible voice or did you have a feeling? Cause I've had numerous feelings that I thought were from The Holy Spirit, but turned out to be nothing more than OCD or some other undiagnosed mental disorders.

It was like a thought and I said: If You really want that, I want it to be romantic and I want to see Your Face and that night I had a dream. I saw Jesus and me on a sail ship and He was the Captain and behind two pieces of wood in the cockpit or however you call that, that were crossed and looked like a cross I then saw His Face.
Oh and when I was around 20 I was whining to God that I had to have a man and asked when He would send him and God said nothing, so I threw the Bible open and any page you throw it open, you can find a yes. Is he coming next week God? No answer. Throw Bible. Yes. At the zoo at 5 on friday? Yes. I seriously went to the zoo once, cause I believed God would send mr. Right there. Anyway, so I asked my mom if she could aska guy she always went to, who gave prophecies, if she could ask him for one, so she did. He sent me a Word from God on paper and one thing it said was: This I hope and long for, that the relationship with Me will be on the first place for you. And then later I met my ex in church, but we were both too selfish to make it work. If you want to find a wife, Derek Prince has good tips about it. He was a mature christian and he got a great wife twice. First one died and then he got a new one.
He also has a book about it, but this is for free:

https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGbzPf9r4j4e_wj1Uy7pzU0CeMFoW5orw