I think there's a confusion between being equal and being identical.
What I see in modern society is an insistence that men and women must be identical, almost interchangeable. In the OT the culture was such that women were little more than property and, while we've moved on from that, it doesn't mean the OT is inherently bad - merely that it reflects the culture of the time. Fussing over it being somehow discriminatory is as silly as some of the protests about today's politicians doing things in their youth that were considered normal at the time but offensive today.
In the NT's commands it seems that women get the better end of the deal. The wife is to honor her husband but the husband is to be willing to "give himself" for his wife, as Christ gave himself for the church. So my wife has to honor me, and I have to be willing to die for her. Remind me how this gives her such a raw deal?