Bullying

[NewCreation435]

it seems like bullying is in the news more these days, but it doesn't seem like it has helped make it less prevalent. I work with kids and teenagers and a lot of them tell me often that they are being bullied. I know I was bullied a lot as a young child. What would you tell a kid if he said he is being bothered by someone and bullied?

i know some would say to tell a teacher, but they can't be everywhere and stop all of it.

 

[Andrew]

The both parents and both kids and teacher have a pow wow in the principals office, or have a bullying class were the bullies and their targets learn to work together one on one and get rewarded when they complete a project

 

[NewCreation435]

The both parents and both kids and teacher have a pow wow in the principals office, or have a bullying class were the bullies and their targets learn to work together one on one and get rewarded when they complete a project

One of the kids I am thinking of did actually have a meeting in the principals office and I don't know that this stopped it. Maybe for a period of time it will. All bullying also does not go on at school, but also after school That was usually when fights would break out when i was a kid. Things would be settled after school on the bike ride home. Usually a block or two from school. It seems that some kids are more of a target than others because they are a little different or they don't have a lot of friends or they are just socially awkward like I was.

 

[Josiah]

I'm mostly just interested in what others say.....


I was homeschooled and pretty much escaped bullying. SOME but probably slight, less than usual. I was involved in youth theatre, and more in baseball, scouting and swimming, but generally I got along well with the others. I occasionally got teased about stuff but I seemed able to let that sort of stuff roll pretty well. I think I was just really lucky.

My wife tells some horror stories. And now that she's a teacher, she deals with this stuff. She's pretty sensitive to it. But I'm not too aware of what can or should be done about this.

I hate to say this, because I was so lucky, but I kinda wonder if a BIT of this isn't a good thing.... I mean, in adulthood, we have to deal with difficult people and people who don't like us. We may have to work with these people, live next to them. Life skills are often learned the hard way. And.... little children can have pretty big egos, and that tends to get.... um..... managed. A bit of that is good.... too much is not. I had to deal with that - later than most, I think in part because I did have it easy as a kid.

Anyway, mostly just ascribing.... interested to see what others prescribe for this.



.

 

[tango]

I remember dealing with a class bully. He'd just work his way through the class picking on one after another, but he was also good at getting other people to go along with him (usually because they didn't want to be in his crosshairs). Eventually his sights settled on me, and both he and a dozen or so classmates decided it was my turn to get picked on. For a time I tolerated it, but for me the turning point was when a group of people formed a circle around me and advanced at once. Sadly for them they left a chair within reach and I figured if I was going to go down it wouldn't be without a good fight.

Anyway, long story short, the thump of adrenaline paired with a weapon to swing resulted in every single person fleeing while the ringleader ended up pinned against a wall with the chair. After that it was a very short time before his would-be cronies figured it was safer not to try that again, having realised that even if I couldn't take everyone down I could take one or two down and it might be them. Crucially it let other people know that he could be opposed.

The trouble nowadays is that so much of the anti-bullying stuff I see and hear about is formulaic. My biggest problem with the class bully was that he wasn't overt about what he was doing and the tendency for many is that he would pick on them only for them to find that when they retaliated they got into trouble. That proved to be an advantage for me, given I was a straight-A student the management at my school took more of an interest in why someone known for not causing trouble anywhere had suddenly turned on someone in class.

For me the simple reality was that the bullying stopped when confronted with the credible threat of violent force against the ringleader and anyone who stood with him. Today I fear that would result in the victim being further victimised by the mechanisms that allegedly exist to prevent bullying.

 

[Imalive]

it seems like bullying is in the news more these days, but it doesn't seem like it has helped make it less prevalent. I work with kids and teenagers and a lot of them tell me often that they are being bullied. I know I was bullied a lot as a young child. What would you tell a kid if he said he is being bothered by someone and bullied?

i know some would say to tell a teacher, but they can't be everywhere and stop all of it.

Tell the bully he or she needs Jesus and just forgive em. A kid in our church was so sweet and shed come home w 8 or so: mom, dad, they bullied me, they hit me. Then hit em back, her dad said. My son got bullied in preschool. They have anti bullying protocols in school. Teacher didnt do anything. Well then dad told her and all of a sudden she could do something about it. Just pray they get a good school where that doesnt happen. No way I'd put my kid on a school w bullies. Oh lol my son told me a kid got bullied and teachers and other kids didnt care, kept going on when his dad came. He talked to teacher, wanted to talk w the kids and their parents. They didn't want to. It kept going on. LOL then he just sued em and the judge said he was right and they had to pay loads and it stopped. Fabulous.

 

[Lamb]

As a former substitute teacher I have to say that those being bullied aren't always completely innocent themselves. If they mouth off to someone and then get "bullied" in return, I tend to call them out on it. It happens more than teachers and parents want to admit. Their children aren't all little angels.

As for bullies themselves, they like the reaction of their victims and the attention from others who "see" their power. When my daughter was being bullied in middle school I told her to ignore them because that's what they don't want. It worked. They moved on to someone else after about a month.

 

[Imalive]

As a former substitute teacher I have to say that those being bullied aren't always completely innocent themselves. If they mouth off to someone and then get "bullied" in return, I tend to call them out on it. It happens more than teachers and parents want to admit. Their children aren't all little angels.

As for bullies themselves, they like the reaction of their victims and the attention from others who "see" their power. When my daughter was being bullied in middle school I told her to ignore them because that's what they don't want. It worked. They moved on to someone else after about a month.

Yes some start it and then play the victim. My son got made fun of w 6 because I had given him a baby school bag w Miffy on it. Bahahahahahaha. Poor kid w such a dumb mom.
But on the other school was just one jerk who beat him and others too. So then his dad stepped up. All this slimy 'oh the poor kid has adhd' nonsense, just beat that jerk, so he acts normal. Slimy parents. We even had that in church. One kid 3 y o beating up all the other kids and these dumb parents: oh now sweety dont do that. The other parents who did the kids service were mad and always put him on a naughty chair during the kids service. Poor kid. I slimed to him, so he didnt beat my 1 y. o. Their response made him even worse. Parents should have done that.

 

[Stravinsk]

it seems like bullying is in the news more these days, but it doesn't seem like it has helped make it less prevalent. I work with kids and teenagers and a lot of them tell me often that they are being bullied. I know I was bullied a lot as a young child. What would you tell a kid if he said he is being bothered by someone and bullied?

i know some would say to tell a teacher, but they can't be everywhere and stop all of it.

I'd ask the kid what the bullying entailed to make sure it was real bullying and not something else...

And then I would advice him to retaliate in kind. It's not the Christian way - but for bullies, they tend to think twice if they know what they are dishing out is likely to get served to them. That often works if the bully is acting on their own.


When I was growing up I can't say I was ever seriously bullied - although I did get into a fight now and then. Neither did I bully anyone - save one person. During some of my teen years, things were less than pleasant at my house and my adolescence was characterized by a lot of rebellion and a lot of drug use. Unfortunately - my brother took the brunt of some of this - until he fought back in a big way with a weapon I didn't expect him to use. I was more careful after that.

 

[NewCreation435]

I remember dealing with a class bully. He'd just work his way through the class picking on one after another, but he was also good at getting other people to go along with him (usually because they didn't want to be in his crosshairs). Eventually his sights settled on me, and both he and a dozen or so classmates decided it was my turn to get picked on. For a time I tolerated it, but for me the turning point was when a group of people formed a circle around me and advanced at once. Sadly for them they left a chair within reach and I figured if I was going to go down it wouldn't be without a good fight.

Anyway, long story short, the thump of adrenaline paired with a weapon to swing resulted in every single person fleeing while the ringleader ended up pinned against a wall with the chair. After that it was a very short time before his would-be cronies figured it was safer not to try that again, having realised that even if I couldn't take everyone down I could take one or two down and it might be them. Crucially it let other people know that he could be opposed.

The trouble nowadays is that so much of the anti-bullying stuff I see and hear about is formulaic. My biggest problem with the class bully was that he wasn't overt about what he was doing and the tendency for many is that he would pick on them only for them to find that when they retaliated they got into trouble. That proved to be an advantage for me, given I was a straight-A student the management at my school took more of an interest in why someone known for not causing trouble anywhere had suddenly turned on someone in class.

For me the simple reality was that the bullying stopped when confronted with the credible threat of violent force against the ringleader and anyone who stood with him. Today I fear that would result in the victim being further victimised by the mechanisms that allegedly exist to prevent bullying.

Okay, so your saying I should have just taken a few of them out and problem solved.

 

[NewCreation435]

I'd ask the kid what the bullying entailed to make sure it was real bullying and not something else...

And then I would advice him to retaliate in kind. It's not the Christian way - but for bullies, they tend to think twice if they know what they are dishing out is likely to get served to them. That often works if the bully is acting on their own.


When I was growing up I can't say I was ever seriously bullied - although I did get into a fight now and then. Neither did I bully anyone - save one person. During some of my teen years, things were less than pleasant at my house and my adolescence was characterized by a lot of rebellion and a lot of drug use. Unfortunately - my brother took the brunt of some of this - until he fought back in a big way with a weapon I didn't expect him to use. I was more careful after that.

I think that is the danger of bullying. I have seen kids who were much smaller than the person picking on them decide the only way to deal with it is to bring a knife or weapon to school and threaten them. Then of course the kid who brought the weapon gets suspended and possible legal issues may occur or being expelled. Most people can be picked on only so much til they reach their breaking point

 

[NewCreation435]

As a former substitute teacher I have to say that those being bullied aren't always completely innocent themselves. If they mouth off to someone and then get "bullied" in return, I tend to call them out on it. It happens more than teachers and parents want to admit. Their children aren't all little angels.

As for bullies themselves, they like the reaction of their victims and the attention from others who "see" their power. When my daughter was being bullied in middle school I told her to ignore them because that's what they don't want. It worked. They moved on to someone else after about a month.

I haven't noticed ignoring the bully working. It just seems to make them bolder. Now, there is a whole new level of bullying which didn't even exist when I was kid named cyberbullying. Kids have been known to commit suicide because of it

 

[Lamb]

I haven't noticed ignoring the bully working. It just seems to make them bolder. Now, there is a whole new level of bullying which didn't even exist when I was kid named cyberbullying. Kids have been known to commit suicide because of it

Could it depend on the age level and the gender?

 

[Imalive]

it seems like bullying is in the news more these days, but it doesn't seem like it has helped make it less prevalent. I work with kids and teenagers and a lot of them tell me often that they are being bullied. I know I was bullied a lot as a young child. What would you tell a kid if he said he is being bothered by someone and bullied?

i know some would say to tell a teacher, but they can't be everywhere and stop all of it.

Know who you are in Christ. They only bullied me when I was insecure. They smell it. Like lions go to the wounded animals.

 

[Imalive]

My uncle was a bully as a kid. He was my favorite uncle, so sweet and funny. But as a kid he was a jerk. He just thought he was funny. He told us one day when they were visiting my aunt in Canada they also visited friends from their youth who lived in Canada and they had a great time. They were 50 or something. LOL then all of a sudden that woman remembered how he used to bully her as a kid and she kicked em out in the middle of the night.

 

[NewCreation435]

Could it depend on the age level and the gender?

I don't know. I see some adults that like to pick on others. Adults are just more subtle about it. Maybe it about maturity rather than age or gender

 

[NewCreation435]

Know who you are in Christ. They only bullied me when I was insecure. They smell it. Like lions go to the wounded animals.

that's true. Self confidence helps alot when other people see it

 

[Asuk]

This explains everything.

https://youtu.be/MF_4EWSuzQY

 

[tango]

As a former substitute teacher I have to say that those being bullied aren't always completely innocent themselves. If they mouth off to someone and then get "bullied" in return, I tend to call them out on it. It happens more than teachers and parents want to admit. Their children aren't all little angels.

As for bullies themselves, they like the reaction of their victims and the attention from others who "see" their power. When my daughter was being bullied in middle school I told her to ignore them because that's what they don't want. It worked. They moved on to someone else after about a month.

Sometimes ignoring it works, sometimes it just continues until something stops it. In my class the bully liked the response he got, until the response he got from me nearly put him in hospital. Then he decided picking on the biggest guy in the class wasn't such a good idea. It's sad it came to that but when you're facing a dozen or more people forming a circle with no idea of what they might do it may be better to take preemptive steps to break the circle than to wait and find out.

 

[Imalive]

Sometimes ignoring it works, sometimes it just continues until something stops it. In my class the bully liked the response he got, until the response he got from me nearly put him in hospital. Then he decided picking on the biggest guy in the class wasn't such a good idea. It's sad it came to that but when you're facing a dozen or more people forming a circle with no idea of what they might do it may be better to take preemptive steps to break the circle than to wait and find out.

That is an effective way to stop bullies.
Knock. Quiet.