Women in Leadership and men who disrespect

[Lamb]

I wanted to start a thread like this for a while.

Why is it that if a man in a leadership role asks someone to do something that it gets done? But if a woman in a leadership role asks a man to do something she is oftentimes met with resistance and argument?

As a woman who is often in a leadership role, I find that it's frustrating trying to gain the respect of men who resent that a woman is a leader over them. There is an unspoken resentment that comes through in their wording and action. Not all men, mind you, but many men.

How can a woman effectively lead when she has to deal with men who don't want to be a team player and would rather be the Alpha?

 

[NathanH83]

To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
-Genesis 3:16

Bible Gateway passage: Genesis 3:16 - New King James Version

To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”

www.biblegateway.com

“while I was still searching but not finding— I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all.”
-Ecclesiastes 7:28

Bible Gateway passage: Ecclesiastes 7:28 - New International Version

while I was still searching but not finding— I found one upright man among a thousand, but not one upright woman among them all.

www.biblegateway.com

“For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.”
-1 Corinthians 11:10

Bible Gateway passage: 1 Corinthians 11:10 - New King James Version

For this reason the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.

www.biblegateway.com

“Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.”
-1 Timothy 2:11-12

Bible Gateway passage: 1 Timothy 2:11-12 - New King James Version

Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence.

www.biblegateway.com

“Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.”
-1 Corinthians 14:34-35

Bible Gateway passage: 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 - New International Version

Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church.

www.biblegateway.com

 

[Stravinsk]

I wanted to start a thread like this for a while.

Why is it that if a man in a leadership role asks someone to do something that it gets done? But if a woman in a leadership role asks a man to do something she is oftentimes met with resistance and argument?

What is the context? Employment? Church? Other?

For what it's worth, at least in employment situations, if I'm working under someone, I prefer them to be male. Males (usually) tend to be more straightforward, more logical and more to the point/matter of fact, and less inclined to use manipulation (emotional or otherwise) to secure their "lead".

This is not always so, however. I've worked under some males that are absolutely manipulative and underhanded in their dealings and I'm either not doing what they ask when it's not reasonable, looking for ways to skirt that, or seeking other employment. So it's not like being male automatically commands respect as your statement seems to suggest.

As a woman who is often in a leadership role, I find that it's frustrating trying to gain the respect of men who resent that a woman is a leader over them. There is an unspoken resentment that comes through in their wording and action. Not all men, mind you, but many men.

How can a woman effectively lead when she has to deal with men who don't want to be a team player and would rather be the Alpha?

I barely tolerate male "leadership" and only do so when it's reasonable and fair. I've worked under some women who display these qualities and am fine if that is the situation as well. On the whole, however, my experience of working under both genders is that I find males to be more straightforward/logical and women to be more manipulative so I prefer the former.

 

[JRT]

Patriarchy is perhaps the most pernicious evil that people have inflicted on themselves. It is dying and has been dying for centuries but patriarchy dies hard and it may be more centuries yet before it is dead. Any organization, religious or secular and including marriage, that fails to include women in leadership roles right up to the very top is guilty of several evils. First, it is the insult to the women themselves by viewing them as less worthy. Second, it is the insult to God by denigrating half of God’s creation. If we continue to treat women in this way, then the human race is condemned to stand on one foot, see with one eye, hear with one ear and think with one half the human mind ---- and it shows.

 

[psalms 91]

I personally have no pronlem with a woman as leader, I have found many in church that are very annointed to lead and in business they seem to do as well or better than males

 

[Lamb]

I'm really not meaning women as Pastors.

I meant women in secular life.

 

[tango]

I'm really not meaning women as Pastors.

I meant women in secular life.

On the topic of female pastors I remember a particular curious conversation I had some years ago about whether women should be pastors or not. I was having the discussion with two women, both of whom were opposed to women being pastors. I have no problem with a woman being a pastor.

In a secular setting I guess there are probably still guys out there who think a woman is little more than a pretty thing whose job is to be a domestic servant (these seem to be the same guys who wonder why women don't see them as suitable partners). At the same time with so much focus on just about any form of prejudice imaginable (and even imagined) it's easy to see why a weak leader who happens to be female (or black, or gay, or disabled, or whatever else) might assume it's about their "protected characteristic" rather than simply not being a good leader.

I remember back when the #MeToo concept first got going there was a big thing on social media about women who had been assumed to be junior by virtue of being women, with everyone imaginable posting their #MeToo status. I remember a guy I went to university with who was hugely accomplished in his field but looked much younger than his actual age. At one of his early jobs (after acing his doctorate) someone assumed he was the new intern when actually he was a senior researcher. He was assumed to be junior because he looked like he was probably fresh out of school but because he had a Y chromosome he didn't get to claim it was because of his gender.