Trapped in a Relationship with a Psycho

[Jason76]

My feelings are mixed about her. I mean, she's always abusive - and it's not always about some "bad thing" I did (cheating etc..). Anyway, I feel for a long term relationship, I'd be better off with a teacher type - but it's tough getting them - cause they are so snobby and/or taken. Well, my girlfriend only has a high education and is mentally ill. However, she's not low in IQ. She's very smart - but the problem is her annoying attitude - and I feel it could be hell if I married her.

Oh, but she's already pregnant and wanting the baby!

 

[Lamb]

Is it your baby or do you mean she was pregnant before you started the relationship?

 

[NewCreation435]

I guess unless you just want to somehow punish yourself you probably shouldn't marry her then

 

[tango]

My feelings are mixed about her. I mean, she's always abusive - and it's not always about some "bad thing" I did (cheating etc..). Anyway, I feel for a long term relationship, I'd be better off with a teacher type - but it's tough getting them - cause they are so snobby and/or taken. Well, my girlfriend only has a high education and is mentally ill. However, she's not low in IQ. She's very smart - but the problem is her annoying attitude - and I feel it could be hell if I married her.

Oh, but she's already pregnant and wanting the baby!

If the baby is yours then whatever happens you need to do the right thing and support it, whether that support is financial or practical or whatever else.

If your girlfriend truly is abusive and a "psycho" (a vague term at best) already then getting married is unlikely to change that. I'd suggest you figure out whether terms like "psycho" and "mentally ill" are actually the case for her, and whether she can be successfully treated. If she has psychological issues it may be that therapy can help her. If she is truly mentally ill (another term often thrown around more casually than is entirely appropriate) she may need psychiatric help. Be aware that if these terms are correctly applied to her then child protection may need to be involved. If she is deemed to be an unfit mother the child may be taken away, in which case you may end up with a choice of being effectively a single father or either handing over your child to the foster system or finding someone to adopt it (if it isn't your child then the biological father, if known, gets to make that call).

Marrying someone with mental health issues because of a baby seems like a pretty good way to take a relationship that isn't working and tether yourself to it for the long term future. My thoughts are you would be far better off seeing whether professional help will work for her and only then even consider marrying her.

 

[Member4592]

Is it your baby or do you mean she was pregnant before you started the relationship?

I'm taking a pretty big hint that "she wants the baby" the way he put it, is that it's his baby. I have no doubt about it.

During my divorce I met a woman who was very mentally unstable on "Plenty of Fish" and I stayed with her for a total of 3 months before I decided that I desperately needed to leave her. I'm relieved I never got her pregnant. She tried to get pregnant. Went on dating apps and flirted with other men and sent them nudes. She lied about everything. Was extremely possessive and manipulative. She hated it that I had kids. Her father was a pedophile whom she slept with sexually at a young age up until she was 25. She was 26. Wanted me to meet her dad. Said her father was a wonderful man.

You can see where I'm going with all that and why I needed to break up with her. Her mom lived 3 hours away from where I lived so I dropped her off there. She messaged me for a month begging for me to take her back. She tried faking a pregnancy test, that failed. I never gave her the names of my family members, She found them all Facebook and went to them begging for me to take her back, that failed. When I wouldn't take her back, she called DFS and accused me of being a child beater, that failed.

Lets just say that with her mental and emotional problems along with her being a sociopath made her the worst girlfriend that I ever had. I've never wanted to leave someone so bad.

So I can feel OP's pain for the want to get away. If he did leave. They can do joint custody or he can pay child support.

 

[Lamb]

I'm taking a pretty big hint that "she wants the baby" the way he put it, is that it's his baby. I have no doubt about it.

During my divorce I met a woman who was very mentally unstable on "Plenty of Fish" and I stayed with her for a total of 3 months before I decided that I desperately needed to leave her. I'm relieved I never got her pregnant. She tried to get pregnant. She lied about everything. Was extremely possessive and manipulative. She hated it that I had kids. Her father was a pedophile whom she slept with sexually at a young age up until she was 25. She was 26. Wanted me to meet her dad. Said her father was a wonderful man.

You can see where I'm going with all that and why I needed to break up with her. Her mom lived 3 hours away from where I lived so I dropped her off there. She messaged me for a month begging for me to take her back. She tried faking a pregnancy test, that failed. I never gave her the names of my family members, She found them all Facebook and went to them begging for me to take her back, that failed. When I wouldn't take her back, she called DFS and accused me of being a child beater, that failed.

Lets just say that with her mental and emotional problems along with her being a sociopath made her the worst girlfriend that I ever had. I've never wanted to leave someone so bad.

So I can feel OP's pain for the want to get away. If he did leave. They can do joint custody or he can pay child support.

I hope you stayed away from meeting online women after that?

 

[Member4592]

I hope you stayed away from meeting online women after that?

Yes. I started dating locally. A lot of women use dating apps for one night stands or to cheat on their husbands. My ex wife did it to me. I've even met women who lied about wanting a relationship and then saw other men.