Tough Love or Help?

[Lamb]

As Christians, we are called to love our neighbor, but sometimes it's hard when we have to determine whether Tough Love is better over Helping them in some instances.

Tough Love can teach a lesson. Helping can ease their burden, but they might not learn for next time.

Thoughts?

 

[Frankj]

To me, tough love is saying to someone caught up in a self destructive life 'I will do all I can to help you change, but I will not help you stay the same'.

But this does not mean we give up on people easily because God does not give up on us easily.

 

[tango]

This is a really difficult balancing act. It's hard to see people, especially people we care about, struggling with a situation when we know we could either help or make the entire situation go away.

Help with too many conditions can become controlling; help with too few conditions can become enabling.

I think a lot of it comes down to what kind of help will best address the situation.

I think of a couple I knew a few years ago who were constantly short of money. Offering them money to get them through a tough spot wouldn't actually help because they'd be in the exact same situation next month, and the next month, and the next month. Their budget was fundamentally broken because of foolish spending patterns, so what they really needed was someone to help them adjust their spending. But their most foolish spending pattern was non-negotiable to them, so any financial help would be dumping money into a bottomless hole.

If people are willing to do the work to resolve their problems I'm usually happy to help them. If they just want a quick fix then I'm less interested. The only exception to that would be that if someone who is very close to me had an immediate and urgent need I'd look to address it first and figure out the details later.

 

[Can't think of a name]

Maybe some people DO learn and they decide to do the wrong thing regardless. There are evil people out there that do know they have done something against their conscience and they choose to continue to do it later on which sears their conscience. Does that mean when they are hard to communicate with you aren't loving them as your neighbour? No. But you can't help someone that decides to be and do evil things. Being a strong person means you have no fear because you are brave and tough, and you would never allow any person to tread on you in any sense whether verbally or physically without resisting that kind of evil.

I think relationships with family in homes is pretty different to strangers on the street. If someone was going around trying to mock me for believing in Jesus and doing it by blatant antichrist mockery, I am going to hate that behaviour because it is supposed to be insulting God. I will not stand for that and if that makes me hate my neighbour but love God, if I can't help it, I will love God and hate my "neighbour".