Should Grandma babysit for free?

[Lamb]

I saw a discussion where the topic presented was about a young mother who didn't have a lot of money and wanted her 64 year old mother to babysit her child for free so she could go to work. The 64 year old mother was tired and didn't really look forward to a 40 hour plus work week again, raising a child and she wanted to be paid.

What do you think about this?

 

[tango]

Watching the kids for a while is very different to agreeing to watch them all day, every day, indefinitely, for free. Hey, maybe grandma can also pay the mortgage and bills while she's at it.

It's really no different to anything else that might be done occasionally or regularly. If I'm going to town and a friend asks for a ride I'll give them a ride. If they want a ride every single day indefinitely then even if I'm going anyway I'd expect them to chip in for the gas if nothing else.

 

[Forgiven1]

Watching them for a date night or running errands is one thing. Watching them as a full time job, I would want to be paid. Maybe not the going rate but paid. There would be expenses involved.

 

[Lamb]

I'm really torn on this. If my daughter needed my help, of course I'd watch her kid for free, because I'm a pushover. It would be hard. Very hard. But since she's told me she's never having kids, I also have to look at it in the light of that if it ever happened where she got pregnant, I would cherish the thought of that blessing. I see my friends sharing pics and videos of their grandkids, and I probably will never be able to have those special moments. It would really only be for about 5 years. Maybe less if there is a preschool involved. I think I could do it. But it would be very hard.

 

[tango]

I'm really torn on this. If my daughter needed my help, of course I'd watch her kid for free, because I'm a pushover. It would be hard. Very hard. But since she's told me she's never having kids, I also have to look at it in the light of that if it ever happened where she got pregnant, I would cherish the thought of that blessing. I see my friends sharing pics and videos of their grandkids, and I probably will never be able to have those special moments. It would really only be for about 5 years. Maybe less if there is a preschool involved. I think I could do it. But it would be very hard.

Even if there is preschool involved you'd be talking a daily commitment where, whatever happened, you'd need to be home in time to get the kid off the bus, you may need to be there in time to put the kid on the bus, you might need to put your plans on hold at a moment's notice if your daughter was delayed on the way home, and it would be until the child was old enough to be allowed to be home alone until parents got back.

I've watched my friends' kids over time. For a time I was willing to be on a friend's emergency contact list if he needed someone to call to get his kids off the bus, if he was delayed at work (this was very soon after he and his wife divorced, and he was getting to grips with his life being totally different). Even that is hugely different to a commitment to be there every single day, especially if it's going to be for extended periods every day. For friends and family you don't necessarily need to be paid the going rate but for an extended commitment you'd want something to reflect the disruption to your own life and, if nothing else, the costs associated with what you're doing.

 

[NewCreation435]

Raising kids isn't free. You have to feed them and provide for them. It isn't fair to expect the Grandmother to do that if she is on fixed income. At least the mom should have to pay something for the kids to eat while they are at grandmother's house or under her care.
I wonder if this mom could also put her kids in Head Start program. I know they take 3 and 4 year old kids. That wouldn't be all day, but it would be at least for the morning