Online Relationships

[Vindicator]

There are pros and cons to developing online relationships. You can't see the other person (unless it's via FaceTime, Skype, Zoom or some other visual social service) so you don't always know if the person is real or legit.

But the pros can be immense if they are not a game player. You see right past the physical to the heart and soul of a person, and can sometimes develop close bonds with people thousands of miles away who you otherwise would never have met, including Christian friends who become a tremendous blessing to your life.

What is your view of online relationships and how do you approach them? Do you feel they are primarily beneficial or potentially damaging and abusive?

 

[tango]

They can be either, so it's not really helpful to say they are universally good or bad. They can certainly have the potential to turn sour very fast because people can play games so easily - you simply can't see who someone is online so trust has to be given slowly and cautiously.

I have a couple of people I consider friends who I never met in person, I got to know them over a forum not entirely unlike this one. I've chatted with them many times over many years using online tools, spoken with them a few times over the phone etc. I'd very much like to meet them but geography can be an issue.

I met my wife online, long before that was the done thing. This was before dating apps, before cellphones had any capacity to do anything other than make calls and send texts (and some phones couldn't send texts). It came with lots of unknowns but we've been married nearly 30 years now.

 

[Lamb]

I have online friends I've known for 30 years now, and they're incredible. We started off meeting online on a local community bulletin board set up by the newspaper as a beta test. When the paper chose to close the board, many of us friended each other on Facebook to stay in touch, and we're still friends to this day, although quite a few have passed away.

I also have friends that I've known online for over a decade from another forum and I value them as well.

I'm very much introverted and don't like being around people too much, so it's nice to have online friends where I can talk to them at my own leisure.

 

[Can't think of a name]

I've had no luck meeting Christians in real life from using social media or the internet. Before I was saved and into a different spiritual belief I did meet people in real life that I had met online.

 

[Vindicator]

I have a couple of people I consider friends who I never met in person, I got to know them over a forum not entirely unlike this one. I've chatted with them many times over many years using online tools, spoken with them a few times over the phone etc. I'd very much like to meet them but geography can be an issue.

Greetings and blessings in Christ! Good to meet you.

Yeah, being able to talk to them over the phone a few times really helps. Establishes that you are talking to someone who is who they say they are (correct area code, male/ female voice etc). I won't pollute this thread with too much of the enemy's stuff, but I have seen men - perverts who only wanted to titillate themselves - pose as women or girls, sometimes young girls - to establish a more personal, even intimate relationship with Christian men who weren't smart or discerning enough to know better. The way to find out for sure is contact them in person. What's App is also good for this, because they even have video chat and you can see who you are talking to.

I met my wife online, long before that was the done thing. This was before dating apps, before cellphones had any capacity to do anything other than make calls and send texts (and some phones couldn't send texts). It came with lots of unknowns but we've been married nearly 30 years now.

THIS is what I was driving at. I think it gives you the capacity to meet a future spouse, as well as spiritual friends that are - and I hate to use this term cuz it sounds a little elitist - but on your level, so to speak. People who are where you are in your spiritual walk with God...

I was just reminded of a video. Second time today, so I think I will post it. Grew up listening to this stuff because it was what my mother was into, but I had never "heard" the words so clearly as when I saw this once a few months ago. Is it not sad to live an entire life lonely as a child of God? I find that thought absolutely intolerable.

 

[Vindicator]

I'm very much introverted and don't like being around people too much, so it's nice to have online friends where I can talk to them at my own leisure.

Yes. I prefer a more select group of closer friends who actually know me than large groups of them, like you see with the Christian Chat forums. I know not all people are alike, so glad to see it affords some the opportunity to party it up in a good Spirit amongst a whole room full of people. But for me, I enjoy private conversations - either one on one, or limited down to a group of... no more than about 6-7 people tops. More than that and it just gets too noisy for me.

 

[Vindicator]

I've had no luck meeting Christians in real life from using social media or the internet. Before I was saved and into a different spiritual belief I did meet people in real life that I had met online.

Well that's rather sad, and I'm sorry to hear this. Have you prayed that the Lord send you an online friend? Or multiple online Christian friends?

 

[tango]

Greetings and blessings in Christ! Good to meet you.

Yeah, being able to talk to them over the phone a few times really helps. Establishes that you are talking to someone who is who they say they are (correct area code, male/ female voice etc). I won't pollute this thread with too much of the enemy's stuff, but I have seen men - perverts who only wanted to titillate themselves - pose as women or girls, sometimes young girls - to establish a more personal, even intimate relationship with Christian men who weren't smart or discerning enough to know better. The way to find out for sure is contact them in person. What's App is also good for this, because they even have video chat and you can see who you are talking to.

People can pretend to be anything they want online. Sometimes it's easy to see what they are hoping to get out of it, sometimes it's just about avoiding the less desirable aspects of the internet. There was an online game I played years ago (back when online games were text only) where I got chatting to a guy and after chatting to him for a while he let me know he was actually a she, but used a male character because she was sick of guys constantly hitting on her. When I'd chatted to her for a while thinking she was a man she knew I was probably safe.

THIS is what I was driving at. I think it gives you the capacity to meet a future spouse, as well as spiritual friends that are - and I hate to use this term cuz it sounds a little elitist - but on your level, so to speak. People who are where you are in your spiritual walk with God...

There's a lot to this, and it's good to be able to weed out the fakes and the wannabes. But when I met my wife I was overtly hostile to God and anything that looked like religion, so it wasn't anything to do with a walk with God for me.

I was just reminded of a video. Second time today, so I think I will post it. Grew up listening to this stuff because it was what my mother was into, but I had never "heard" the words so clearly as when I saw this once a few months ago. Is it not sad to live an entire life lonely as a child of God? I find that thought absolutely intolerable.

It does seem tough but given the prevalence of divorce and what Jesus said about remarriage after divorce I suspect it's a sad reality for a growing number of Christians. If the options are to reconcile with an abusive former spouse or stay single and celibate for the rest of your life, it doesn't offer any particularly attractive options.