My s/o is wasteful!

[Jerlene]

My significant other is incredibly wasteful and it bothers me to no end. She'll take a bite out of something and if she doesn't like it, it goes in the trash. She makes new cups of drinks before bed, takes a couple of sips, then throws the rest down the drain the next day. It's one thing after another.
I've confronted her about this but she always comes back at me with, "You're treating me like a child!" It's annoying me and I can't keep throwing money away. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what this thread is for. Advice? Anything? I don't know...

 

[Tigger]

It could be a red flag. Is she also waisteful in big things?

 

[Lamb]

Is she paying for those things she's throwing away or are you?

 

[tango]

My significant other is incredibly wasteful and it bothers me to no end. She'll take a bite out of something and if she doesn't like it, it goes in the trash. She makes new cups of drinks before bed, takes a couple of sips, then throws the rest down the drain the next day. It's one thing after another.
I've confronted her about this but she always comes back at me with, "You're treating me like a child!" It's annoying me and I can't keep throwing money away. I don't know what to do. I don't even know what this thread is for. Advice? Anything? I don't know...

Waste is really annoying if you're the kind of person who wants to get maximum value from stuff. I hate waste and sometimes my wife seems wasteful to me. But with a lot of stuff the bigger question is whether it really matters - it's not like it costs any more if she doesn't finish her meal, or lets half a cup of coffee go cold. If your s/o takes a couple of sips of drink and dumps the rest, is it really worth losing sleep over? If she takes a bite of something and doesn't like it, what would you want her to do? Finish eating something she doesn't like? How does anybody gain from that?

 

[Kaynil]

I understand throwing away if they don't like it, there is little else to do in that case, short of offering you to have it instead.

When I arrived in Australia, I got horrified with the amount of wastage, especially working in a restaurant, but even my S.O. would just throw away what he couldn't finish in a meal. I came from a family where we weren't able to take food as much for granted, so we would always store whatever we left for the following day. My parents offering to each other and us if they couldn't finish their meal.

However, this same mentality also made me prone to overeat, because I'd rather eat from my S.O. scarps than seeing them going to the bin. Rather than an angry talk, we both opened up about how our actions were rubbing each other. Thanks to that I realized that by eating what wasn't even my own ration I was treating my body like a disposal bin. I had to learn to accept that those meals are up to my love, not me and if he's full he can store or throw them away. Fortunately, they also saw that many times we can just store them away rather than throwing everything away.

Anyway, I am sharing this because my advice is that you talk it over with her, but not from an accusing tone, rather to try to understand better where she is coming from regarding that. Since she was defensive last time about you treating it like a child, maybe a different approach can help. If it is really affecting your wallet, you can try buying a set amount of whatever drinks she waste and another for you, or write down all the wastage you are both generating and calmly explain how that is putting a big strain on the spending. Try to both come up with ideas to minimize the wastage, for example, it might be a good idea to invest in a smaller cups so she doesn't waste as much, or she can agree to just make half cups before bed, etc.

If she is trying something she knows you like, she can agree to store it for you rather than throwing it. If you don't invalidate her choices completely and instead of trying to find a way that works for both of you, hopefully, you can get into a nice arrangement that will make you both feel good about it.