How often does your spouse REALLY listen to you?
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Krissy Cakes
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Hes a good listener. Even tho it doesn't seems like hes listening, he is. Sometimes he gets it things mixed up but 95% he gets it right. I picked I winner. 
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Forgiven1
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Coming up on our 36th anniversary this fall, I think we have fallen into where neither one of us really listen to each other. When we want the other to really get what we are saying, we have to make sure we have the other's full attention. I think we have our best conversations while road tripping. Not much to distract us then.
LovebirdsFlying
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A lot of times, even when he's listening, he's not really getting me. This is a bit of a source of frustration for me.
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LovebirdsFlying, has it always been like that?
LovebirdsFlying
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It's not constant. It's only now and then, but when it happens it's pretty frustrating. Sometimes he thinks he heard me say one thing, when I said something else, and he'll react to what he thought I said rather than what I actually said. This can cause a problem until we figure out where the breakdown in communication happened.
Complicate matters with the fact that Asperger's is a possibility. He definitely has alexithymia, which means he can't put a name to feelings. Ask him how he felt when such-and-such happened, and he'll answer instead with what action he took when such-and-such happened. He honestly thinks he's answering the question. It's just that the word "feel" doesn't compute. Also, he is completely unable to detect tone of voice, whether his own or anybody else's. He can hear loud from soft or high from low, but he can't pick out little cues in the voice that would indicate boredom, sarcasm, impatience, etc.
Complicate matters with the fact that Asperger's is a possibility. He definitely has alexithymia, which means he can't put a name to feelings. Ask him how he felt when such-and-such happened, and he'll answer instead with what action he took when such-and-such happened. He honestly thinks he's answering the question. It's just that the word "feel" doesn't compute. Also, he is completely unable to detect tone of voice, whether his own or anybody else's. He can hear loud from soft or high from low, but he can't pick out little cues in the voice that would indicate boredom, sarcasm, impatience, etc.
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That does sound frustrating! When you finally get some of that figured out on how to communicate with him on his terms, you should write a book or something...even a blog, to help others. I'm sure he's not alone in this and neither are you
Inkachu
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I have to say my hubby really does listen to me anytime I have something to say. We both give a lot of respect and value to each other's thoughts and feelings, so it goes both ways and works well. Doesn't mean we always agree, or even understand each other, but we don't just go "mmhmm, uh huh" and pretend to be listening. That would be intolerable.