How do you practice forgiveness when the relationship can't be restored?

[Lamb]

How do you practice forgiveness when the relationship can't be restored?

(I'm just asking in general)

 

[tango]

I don't believe forgiveness requires full restoration of access.

I see forgiveness as a decision to not hold someone's wrongs against them. That means I don't hold a grudge, not that I'll invite them back into my life so they can repeat those wrongs.

A part of the reason I left my last church related to a person I once considered a close friend. Suffice to say I no longer consider him a friend. Some people say I should seek to reconcile with him but frankly I have no particular desire to reconcile with him. I no longer hold a grudge against him, I'd say I have forgiven him but have no desire to even attempt to restore the friendship. Sometimes things that are broken need to stay broken, even if we smooth off the jagged edges.

 

[Frankj]

Are you talking in terms of someone who has sinned against you or someone who has only failed to live up to your expectations?

 

[Lamb]

Are you talking in terms of someone who has sinned against you or someone who has only failed to live up to your expectations?

I would think that it would be the first that needs forgiveness, right?

 

[Can't think of a name]

You don't. You forgive them in your heart and leave them alone.

 

[Frankj]

I would think that it would be the first that needs forgiveness, right?

Well, maybe or maybe not in terms of the magnitude of destructive effects on yourself and the relationship involved.

Consider that every little anger, resentment, grudge, etc. that you have against another in your heart locks God and his relationship to you out of that part of it, that puts a barrier between yourself and god.

Sometimes it is good to forgive others for your own sake and not theirs.

 

[jswauto]

Name the hardest thing in the world but lso the most powerful: Forgiveness

Name something that holds you in bondage till you let go completely: Unforgiveness

Name how to be blessed of the Lord: Forgiveness

Name how to remain in bondage, living in the past forever: Unforgiveness

How do you accomplish such a surmountable feat:

Be methodical
Be repetitive
Don't stop
Continue to call upon the Lord
Continue to pour out the Love of Christ in this situation
Don't stop
Pray the Scriptures
Pray blessings continually on that Person

 

[NewCreation435]

You forgive because it's an act of obedience to Christ who tells us to forgive.
Also, you forgive because bitterness and resentment tends to hurt the person who holds it in.

 

[Webster]

I see forgiveness as a decision to not hold someone's wrongs against them. That means I don't hold a grudge, not that I'll invite them back into my life so they can repeat those wrongs.

Agreed. I can forgive while not forgetting what has happened.

 

[jswauto]

The Measure of Real Forgiveness
When Jesus says:
“Love your enemies… as yourself.”
(Matthew 5:44 + Matthew 22:39)
He is giving you the exact level of forgiveness required:
✔ Wish them no harm
✔ Desire their good before God
✔ Pray for them
✔ Release bitterness
✔ Refuse revenge
✔ Treat them with basic dignity
That is full, real, biblical forgiveness.
It is complete in the heart.
It is clean before God.
It is the forgiveness Jesus modeled.


FORGIVENESS SCRIPTURES
1. Jesus’ Direct Commands on Forgiveness
• Matthew 6:14–15 — Forgive others or the Father will not forgive you
• Mark 11:25 — Forgive when you stand praying
• Matthew 18:21–22 — Forgive seventy times seven
• Luke 6:37 — Forgive, and you will be forgiven
• Luke 17:3–4 — Forgive even if they sin repeatedly and repent

2. Jesus’ Parables About Forgiveness
• Matthew 18:23–35 — The Unforgiving Servant
• Luke 15:11–32 — The Prodigal Son (the father’s forgiveness)
• Luke 7:41–43 — The two debtors

3. Jesus’ Example of Forgiveness
• Luke 23:34 — “Father, forgive them…”
• John 8:1–11 — Jesus forgives the woman caught in adultery

4. Apostolic Teaching on Forgiveness
• Ephesians 4:31–32 — Forgive as God forgave you
• Colossians 3:12–13 — Forgive as Christ forgave you
• 2 Corinthians 2:7–10 — Restore and reaffirm love after forgiveness
• Romans 12:17–21 — Do not repay evil; leave justice to God

5. Old Testament Foundations of Forgiveness
• Psalm 103:10–12 — God removes our sins as far as east from west
• Psalm 32:1–2 — Blessed is the one whose sins are forgiven
• Isaiah 1:18 — Sins made white as snow
• Isaiah 43:25 — God blots out transgressions
• Micah 7:18–19 — God delights in mercy and casts sins into the sea

6. Forgiveness, Mercy, and Love
• Proverbs 10:12 — Love covers all sins
• 1 Peter 4:8 — Love covers a multitude of sins
• James 2:13 — Mercy triumphs over judgment

7. Forgiveness and Prayer
• Matthew 5:23–24 — Reconcile before offering your gift
• Mark 11:25 — Forgive before praying
• Psalm 66:18 — Unforgiveness blocks prayer

8. Forgiveness and Restoration
• Galatians 6:1 — Restore gently
• Philemon 1:15–18 — Paul urges forgiveness and restoration

 

[jswauto]

FORGIVENESS — THE HARDEST BUT MOST POWERFUL THING
A Scriptural portrait

Forgiveness is hard because it feels impossible
Luke 17:4
“If he trespass against thee seven times in a day… thou shalt forgive him.”
→ Jesus acknowledges the weight of repeated wounds.
Matthew 18:21–22
Peter asks, “How many times?”
Jesus answers with a number that breaks the calculator.
Forgiveness stretches the human heart beyond its natural limits.

Forgiveness is powerful because it imitates God Himself
Ephesians 4:32
“Forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Colossians 3:13
“Even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
When you forgive, you step into the very character of God.

Forgiveness is hard because it feels unjust
Romans 12:19
“Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
Forgiveness requires handing justice to God —
and that is one of the hardest acts of trust in Scripture.

Forgiveness is powerful because it breaks spiritual chains
Hebrews 12:15
Warns that bitterness is a root that defiles many.
Matthew 6:14–15
Unforgiveness blocks the flow of grace.
Forgiveness doesn’t just free the offender —
it frees you.

Forgiveness is hard because it costs something
Matthew 18:23–35
The parable of the unforgiving servant shows that forgiveness is the cancellation of a debt.
Canceling a debt always costs the one who cancels it.

Forgiveness is powerful because it heals the heart
Psalm 147:3
“He healeth the broken in heart.”
Forgiveness is one of the primary ways God heals wounds that nothing else can touch.

Forgiveness is hard because it doesn’t always restore the relationship
Romans 12:18
“If it be possible… live peaceably with all men.”
Sometimes it’s not possible.
Forgiveness must still happen —
but reconciliation may not.

Forgiveness is powerful because it reflects the cross
Luke 23:34
“Father, forgive them…”
Forgiveness is the language of Calvary.
It is the power that broke hell’s claim on humanity.
When you forgive, you echo the greatest act in history.