Has religion ever gotten in the way of your relationships?

[Lamb]

Has religion ever gotten in the way of your relationships?

 

[Josiah]

I'm VERY pleased to say it has not.

My beloved was very conservative/traditional Reformed (Orthodox Presbyterian Church) and I Lutheran.... but we mutually worked that out (she ended up converting to Lutheranism). We both get along wonderfully with her family (all Reformed) with much respect for each other. I converted from Catholicism but get along beautifully with all of them, again lots of mutual respect.

Now, it MIGHT have been different if LDS or Jewish or even perhaps Foursquare Gospel.



Side story: When my beloved and I started dating, she told her pastor that I was Lutheran. His reaction: "Please tell me he's Missouri Synod and not ELCA." She confirmed that and he said, "Good, you have my full blessing."



.

 

[ValleyGal]

Yes. I had a friend - a pastor's wife from a church I went to many years ago. I loved her. She was my best friend, but we had a difference of opinion on God's will. She even started praying and taking "digs" at me in those prayers. I talked with her husband, my pastor, about the theology behind God's will. He gave me a book about it, which kinda went against what she believed. Eventually, I said we need to drop it because the friendship was more important than differing beliefs.

But that was one simple difference, and the relationship was with a friend. Religion has also been the straw that broke the back of what I thought was a love relationship. We seemed very much on the same page for the first couple of years but then he went on a spiritual journey without including me, and ended up converting to a completely different denomination and I simply could not reconcile myself to what his new church believed. The attitude behind his conversion was also a deal-breaker for me. So there were three pieces to it: excluding me from his spiritual life, the major theological differences that I could not reconcile, and the attitude behind the conversion. Broke my heart.

Another was with my son. Again, it broke my heart but my faith comes first. Every. Single. Time.

 

[Stravinsk]

Yes. I had a friend - a pastor's wife from a church I went to many years ago. I loved her. She was my best friend, but we had a difference of opinion on God's will. She even started praying and taking "digs" at me in those prayers. I talked with her husband, my pastor, about the theology behind God's will. He gave me a book about it, which kinda went against what she believed. Eventually, I said we need to drop it because the friendship was more important than differing beliefs.

But that was one simple difference, and the relationship was with a friend. Religion has also been the straw that broke the back of what I thought was a love relationship. We seemed very much on the same page for the first couple of years but then he went on a spiritual journey without including me, and ended up converting to a completely different denomination and I simply could not reconcile myself to what his new church believed. The attitude behind his conversion was also a deal-breaker for me. So there were three pieces to it: excluding me from his spiritual life, the major theological differences that I could not reconcile, and the attitude behind the conversion. Broke my heart.

Another was with my son. Again, it broke my heart but my faith comes first. Every. Single. Time.

You pretty much described why I've not been very keen to form close relationships with overly religious people. Besides them being generally crazy, the first paragraph describes the kind of manipulative bs that might tempt me to slap someone, or even punch them. I f ing cannot stand manipulative spiros that use something like prayer for overt or petty reasons. Obviously it's more common in church settings, where public prayers can often tip into either manipulative crap, or covertly trying to shame someone under the disgusting pretense of holiness and charity.

The second paragraph is just sad. I guess you weren't married? Even if it's defacto someone broke the unspoken contract that goes with long term relationships.

Speaking to the OP....it hasn't been all that much of a problem, in general, but I'm sort of a loner. Even if I was strongly attracted to someone I would never let myself be "converted" to their belief system, just to be with them or part of a group. My personal as well as religious beliefs do not come by rote, peer pressure, fear of others or group think. This will not change.

 

[ValleyGal]

Obviously it's more common in church settings, where public prayers can often tip into either manipulative crap, or covertly trying to shame someone under the disgusting pretense of holiness and charity.

I guess this is why, at least in part and for some people, that it's better to pray in private rather than like the Pharisees on the streets. I very rarely pray out loud with others, but I do think it's important to point others to Jesus. People are fallible. Jesus is not.