Encouragement and flattery

[MoreCoffee]

Reading Paul's letters to erring churches and the seven letters to the seven churches of Asia in the Apocalypse is instructive. One leans that encouragement of the good one sees in incipient forms by emphasis on those good things may lead to the increase of goodness and a diminishment of undesirable traits and behaviours. The Church needs a lot of encouragement because the people who make it up are so often badly behaved.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q57uokrSgsY

 

[Lamb]

When I first took flute lessons my flute teacher would always start off her critique by telling me something positive whether it was good fingering or clear tone. Then she would instruct on how to properly do what I had done wrong without telling me how horrible I was. It helped boost my confidence and within a few months I was invited to play with her flute choir

 

[MoreCoffee]

When I first took flute lessons my flute teacher would always start off her critique by telling me something positive whether it was good fingering or clear tone. Then she would instruct on how to properly do what I had done wrong without telling me how horrible I was. It helped boost my confidence and within a few months I was invited to play with her flute choir

In theological debate a similar attitude may be interesting and helpful.

 

[ImaginaryDay2]

I couldn't really put my finger on the issue that was bugging me with the presentation until the end. The "main point" finished, and the voice-over continued:
"We believe in making the world a more emotionally intelligent place" (supposedly as a lead-in to introduce the publication of the book).

Theories of emotional intelligence might have a different view of flattery. To flatter a person for what qualities they might possess in the future, or don't possess yet, isn't really true to emotional intelligence. I'll use an example. Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist and researcher, used an example of a girl who brings a painting to her mother. The mother might respond "What a wonderful artist you are!". In the view of Dr. Gottman, this is flattery for sure, and might boost the morale of the girl, but misses the mark of emotional intelligence. His response was to say "what a wonderful artist you are!" places a performance expectation on the girl. Rather, he suggests something along the lines of "Wow, I see that you've used blue over here, and yellow and green... Tell me what this means to you". So this would foster her own intrinsic thinking and creative ideas about what the artwork might "mean".

Lamm's example of the flute instructor pointing out the good fingering or clear tone would be similar - it points out what is becoming intrinsic to her - her own capabilities and talents. So "emotional intelligence" is born more from recognizing our capabilities and talents that can then be extrapolated to other situations.

 

[MoreCoffee]

I couldn't really put my finger on the issue that was bugging me with the presentation until the end. The "main point" finished, and the voice-over continued:
"We believe in making the world a more emotionally intelligent place" (supposedly as a lead-in to introduce the publication of the book).

Theories of emotional intelligence might have a different view of flattery. To flatter a person for what qualities they might possess in the future, or don't possess yet, isn't really true to emotional intelligence. I'll use an example. Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist and researcher, used an example of a girl who brings a painting to her mother. The mother might respond "What a wonderful artist you are!". In the view of Dr. Gottman, this is flattery for sure, and might boost the morale of the girl, but misses the mark of emotional intelligence. His response was to say "what a wonderful artist you are!" places a performance expectation on the girl. Rather, he suggests something along the lines of "Wow, I see that you've used blue over here, and yellow and green... Tell me what this means to you". So this would foster her own intrinsic thinking and creative ideas about what the artwork might "mean".

Lamm's example of the flute instructor pointing out the good fingering or clear tone would be similar - it points out what is becoming intrinsic to her - her own capabilities and talents. So "emotional intelligence" is born more from recognizing our capabilities and talents that can then be extrapolated to other situations.

I think that the speaker is Alain de Botton. He's fairly famous for books and videos produced before youtube and the like were very important.


https://www.ted.com/talks/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_gentler_philosophy_of_success

 

[Lamb]

In theological debate a similar attitude may be interesting and helpful.

On here and other sites most staff requests that theological debates address the topic and not the person. That's usually to avoid flaming. What sort of example would you use in a theological debate yourself?

 

[MoreCoffee]

On here and other sites most staff requests that theological debates address the topic and not the person. That's usually to avoid flaming. What sort of example would you use in a theological debate yourself?

Look for what is good in an interlocutor's theology.

 

[IACOBVS]

The Church needs a lot of encouragement because the people who make it up are so often badly behaved.

I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Mahatma Ghandi

 

[MoreCoffee]

I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Mahatma Ghandi

The mahatma made some pithy comments, didn't he.

 

[Lamb]

I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. -- Mahatma Ghandi

What really stands out about that quote is that is proves exactly why we all need a Savior! Just because we're Christians doesn't mean we're perfect.

So in regards to the thread topic...I suppose the first sentence is the flattery before the big hit comes in?