Afraid of women

Victor

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Months ago i decided to give it another think... but my fears are still turning more and more painful. I've had a bad couple of nightmares involving a certain woman this week (actually, for some weeks) and they are killing me. Now i'm extremely distrusting and resentful of women, so badly i've started to associate them with demons.

Ok, some weeks ago i went through a terrible episode in college... everything started with a group of girlfriends mocking and putting me down. At first i completely ignored them and that's what i did until my plans were ruined... our class had to do a project in randomly selected pairs, and a girl from the mentioned group was picked for me (and to put it worse, that particular girl was known for being promiscuous). Knowing she was one of those girlfriends who were previously ill talking about me, i would avoid talking with her as much as possible and look at her with contempt... but suddenly, she touched me (or that's what i felt). I got frightened and quickly pulled away her hand. She started asking what happened and smiling suspiciously, and i got really angry with her. Soon it all broke up and i lost my control... i spitted on her face and yelled profane words at her. I got expelled afterwards, and now this episode is always playing in my head. Sometimes i wished her death and eternal damnation in hell. I had violent thoughts about her as well.

I never had such an experience before... and now i avoid touching my own wrist as much as possible (she touched my right wrist). I feel like it is now dirty and polluted, like that disgusting college girl. This is the women of the Instagram era. Alcohol, nudity, selfies and sex. It's nearly impossible to have a traditional family these days... modern women are vulgar, intimidating and very unfaithful (and men no better). I'm very scared of relationships right now. Maybe i will have to accept remaining single for life, because relationships these days are extremely short and dysfunctional. Everyone in my around exchanges their families for the exes or coworkers and divorces outnumber marriages. I have no idea what God has in store for my life... no idea at all. I'm very lost and confused. Please help.
 
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Victor

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tango

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I'd second Jazzy's suggestion to seek professional help.

If you are seriously so afraid that a girl who might have different moral standards to your own touched you that you screamed obscenities you've got issues that you're unlikely to resolve based on what people on a message board might say.

If she touched you in an overtly sexual manner that would be one thing. I'm assuming based on your description of being in a classroom that what she did was more like touched you on the wrist and did nothing more. Yes, there are all sorts of vague concepts of what is appropriate and what isn't appropriate and lots of double standards when it comes to men and women touching each other, even in a totally non-sexual manner. But if you turn to screaming obscenities to the point you get expelled that suggests a trauma that is deep-seated, that will take more than a few words on a forum to fix.

If you feel that your wrist is now so unclean because of this encounter that you can't even touch it, that suggests some pretty deep-seated issues as well.

Seriously, talk to a professional about this.
 

Josiah

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I third Jazzy's suggestion....

None of us here are counselors... none of us here really know you... none of us here can sit down with you and talk this out....

It seems clear to me too that you need professional help. I suggest you find an licensed, professional Christian counselor - perhaps a licensed Marriage and Family Counselor. Someone in a position perhaps to help.

And do it now.

.
 

Lucian Hodoboc

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Have you talked to your priest or pastor about this incident?
 

ImaginaryDay2

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If I recall correctly, @Victor is the same person who posted some time ago looking for some advice. Honestly, Victor, we are not qualified to give the advice you're looking for. And I am a counselor in my professional life. Seek it out there.
Praying for you in your journey
 
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