The Innate Desire for a Wife

[Jason76]

Well, in porn you see this phenomenon. Despite the myriad of choices, some guys get hung up on "porn stars" - but that seems to be some subconscious search for a wife. Well, the Bible says men should have a wife and probably because God made them "want that". In the words, that's a natural desire - rather than simply mating with hundreds of people!

 

[Michael]

Well, in porn you see this phenomenon. Despite the myriad of choices, some guys get hung up on "porn stars" - but that seems to be some subconscious search for a wife. Well, the Bible says men should have a wife and probably because God made them "want that". In the words, that's a natural desire - rather than simply mating with hundreds of people!

"And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” - Gen 2:18

Yes, God did not make man to be alone, just as the Man Jesus is not meant to be alone either. Marriage between a man & woman is a foreshadow or type of Christ Jesus & the Church (Eph 5:22-33)

Porn, and other sexual sins are all things that pervert that union God has desired for a man & wife - as well as the Lamb & His Bride (counterpart). God has put the desire for companionship in us men, and especially for that one special woman.

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord."
- Prov 18:22

Personally, I had trouble with porn when I was in my 20's & 30's until, with God's help, I was able to stop this sin. I've been free now for almost 20 years; and 11 years ago now, when I was your age (42) God brought into my life the beautiful, Godly woman, who became my wife. We just celebrated our 10th Anniversary!
Had I continued in my sin I truly believe I would not be married now and would not have my 7-year-old son Joshua Caleb (who was prophesied about to me before we even wed.)

God honors those who repent and turn away from their sin and "let their requests be made known to Him."
He knew I wanted a wife and a family of my own. He put that desire in me. But He could not fulfill it until I did my part by obeying His commands to "stop sinning" and rid myself of any pornographic material.

I thank God for His patience and mercy and the strength He gave me to quit when I finally decided it was time. And I thank Him for my wife and child. He has blessed me far beyond what I could ever have gotten following my lustful carnal nature.
Amen.

 

[Jason76]

"And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” - Gen 2:18

Yes, God did not make man to be alone, just as the Man Jesus is not meant to be alone either. Marriage between a man & woman is a foreshadow or type of Christ Jesus & the Church (Eph 5:22-33)

Porn, and other sexual sins are all things that pervert that union God has desired for a man & wife - as well as the Lamb & His Bride (counterpart). God has put the desire for companionship in us men, and especially for that one special woman.

"He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord."
- Prov 18:22

Personally, I had trouble with porn when I was in my 20's & 30's until, with God's help, I was able to stop this sin. I've been free now for almost 20 years; and 11 years ago now, when I was your age (42) God brought into my life the beautiful, Godly woman, who became my wife. We just celebrated our 10th Anniversary!
Had I continued in my sin I truly believe I would not be married now and would not have my 7-year-old son Joshua Caleb (who was prophesied about to me before we even wed.)

God honors those who repent and turn away from their sin and "let their requests be made known to Him."
He knew I wanted a wife and a family of my own. He put that desire in me. But He could not fulfill it until I did my part by obeying His commands to "stop sinning" and rid myself of any pornographic material.

I thank God for His patience and mercy and the strength He gave me to quit when I finally decided it was time. And I thank Him for my wife and child. He has blessed me far beyond what I could ever have gotten following my lustful carnal nature.
Amen.

I admire how you feel - and I think Satan puts up huge fortresses of sin to keep people enslaved. In fact, I think strip clubs, porn sites etc. are full of evil spirits. In fact, even if you got married while living in sin - while you would still love the kid, probably there would be massive problems with the wife. Do you think the divorce rate is a punishment for people marrying wrongly?

 

[NewCreation435]

I disagree that that is an example of a subconscious search for a wife. It might be the result of loneliness or lust, but not a search for a wife at all.

 

[tango]

Well, in porn you see this phenomenon. Despite the myriad of choices, some guys get hung up on "porn stars" - but that seems to be some subconscious search for a wife. Well, the Bible says men should have a wife and probably because God made them "want that". In the words, that's a natural desire - rather than simply mating with hundreds of people!

I suspect the issue of porn isn't about a desire to settle but a desire to reproduce. Whether through porn, hookers, casual sex, whatever - what's on offer is the physical aspect of sex without any of the commitments normally involved. Having a wife takes work, you have to consider her needs and her desires (both sexual and otherwise) and putting a wife before yourself is about the exact opposite of watching porn where you get your kicks and then hit the Off button when you're done.

Yes, men have a God-given desire for a companion. Porn is about little more than the benefits of a companion without any of the costs. It's not entirely unlike the rich ruler who asked Jesus how he attained everlasting life but didn't want to do what Jesus said - he wanted the rewards without the work.

 

[MennoSota]

Well, in porn you see this phenomenon. Despite the myriad of choices, some guys get hung up on "porn stars" - but that seems to be some subconscious search for a wife. Well, the Bible says men should have a wife and probably because God made them "want that". In the words, that's a natural desire - rather than simply mating with hundreds of people!

Why are you so fixated on pornography? Are you struggling with addiction?

 

[Josiah]

There's the desire for sex (mostly hormonal) and there's the desire for intimacy (relational)... in God's design, they are entirely connected and linked together but in this fallen world, not so much. Some believe that for GUYS (especially younger ones) the desire for sex prevails (so that marriage is a means to a bigger end) but for GIRLS this relationship is primary and sex is mostly an expression/aspect of that. Personally, I think that stereotype, while it has some truth in it, is too simple.


SOME of this is probably cultural and personal. For ME, sex before marriage was never an option I permitted (what a freak, huh? But I married another! What are the odds!?!?). For ME, the "pull" for intimacy, for RELATIONSHIP was always strong and primary. I never felt a NEED or desire to sex outside of that context (which is probably why I could remain a virgin). But I think for some guys, sex is easy (with self and with girls - both are very easy) and largely fills their desire; in time, they may still like the idea of marriage and the family but this may be for a somewhat unrelated reason/need. The pre-1960's idea of marriage to have sex is (sadly) irrelevant today, for both genders. The culture has changed. But our biological and emotional make up has not.