are you a lurker or stalker and what's the diff?

[TurtleHare]

Lammchen, George and I were talking and trying to figure out how it's determined who is merely a lurker and who gets that over used obnoxious title of stalker so now I want to hear your opinions.

 

[Stravinsk]

Lammchen, George and I were talking and trying to figure out how it's determined who is merely a lurker and who gets that over used obnoxious title of stalker so now I want to hear your opinions.

Ok, 4th try. I've written three short stories here and not posted any of them. This topic is a can of worms, because if you're talking to Lammchen and George, the reference material is the other board, and me in particular, since the accusation has been leveled at me, numerous times.

The short answer is - it's everything to do with public perception and agendas. Personal agendas, and financial ones. I, along with some others were perceived as a threat to the agendas of certain persons in power there at a certain time. This is not a lie, I have plenty of documented evidence, only a portion of which has been shared by various means.

How a situation or situations are framed comes into play with the use of people who have their own agendas or are working on limited or biased information. It is true I've been around a while and am an excellent researcher - of topics, or people. But going digging on the internet does not make me a stalker, neither does the use of sock accounts on a web board - and despite what some may say, I'm hardly alone in this, either in sock accounts, or doing research. Again, perception and the use of certain individuals. A few failings on my part and a few statements taken out of context and not seen in the broader light serve to paint the picture, while the mistakes and sins of others covered up.

I might add that my differences with most Christians (non-Pauline, for example) does not help in the slightest. I have often considered this to be a major sticking point because what I believe rubs too many believers the wrong way.

 

[Lamb]

Stalk: to pursue obsessively and to the point of harassment
Lurk: to be in a hidden place : to wait in a secret or hidden place especially in order to do something wrong or harmful

Well, crud. Merriam Webster has both words as evil. I need to look at a new dictionary I always thought of lurkers on message boards to be those who are just reading and afraid to approach. Not that they wanted to do something evil.

I will admit that you, Stravinsk, had something to do with the conversation but it wasn't entirely you.

This is the internet. If you post something public, WHY ON EARTH would you get so upset if someone found it later?????????? To me that is showing ignorance and naivety of that person to think that once it's hidden 5 pages back that it will forever stay hidden. Really? To that I say that he/she really needs to come to terms with how the internet works and its purpose. It stores information and guess what? People can find it!

If you don't want to have someone know something about you, don't post it publicly. Those who find out that information shouldn't automatically be accused as the bad guy.

Now if we're talking about private conversations, well, that's entirely different...still the internet and yes we shouldn't post things we don't want others to see. I'm sure we all have our secrets and our moments of stupidity. We still need to remember to not go down the wrong path and guess what? Again, it's the internet and nothing is really hidden.

 

[psalms 91]

I agree dont post anything that you would not want spread about

 

[Hammster]

Stalk: to pursue obsessively and to the point of harassment
Lurk: to be in a hidden place : to wait in a secret or hidden place especially in order to do something wrong or harmful

Well, crud. Merriam Webster has both words as evil. I need to look at a new dictionary I always thought of lurkers on message boards to be those who are just reading and afraid to approach. Not that they wanted to do something evil.

I will admit that you, Stravinsk, had something to do with the conversation but it wasn't entirely you.

This is the internet. If you post something public, WHY ON EARTH would you get so upset if someone found it later?????????? To me that is showing ignorance and naivety of that person to think that once it's hidden 5 pages back that it will forever stay hidden. Really? To that I say that he/she really needs to come to terms with how the internet works and its purpose. It stores information and guess what? People can find it!

If you don't want to have someone know something about you, don't post it publicly. Those who find out that information shouldn't automatically be accused as the bad guy.

Now if we're talking about private conversations, well, that's entirely different...still the internet and yes we shouldn't post things we don't want others to see. I'm sure we all have our secrets and our moments of stupidity. We still need to remember to not go down the wrong path and guess what? Again, it's the internet and nothing is really hidden.

In the context of a forum, if I posted something five years ago and someone on that same forum dug it up and posted it on said forum, I wouldn't be concerned in the least. Even if someone posted something here from the "other forum" I wouldn't be concerned because like it or not, these two forums are inextricably linked.

However, if someone dug something up that had nothing to do with the forum, that might cause concern. So the context is important. Just because something can be found doesn't mean it should be looked for.

For instance, I have a better than average chance of finding members from the "other site" on Facebook given my position. Does that mean I should? It's on the Internet, after all.

 

[Lamb]

In the context of a forum, if I posted something five years ago and someone on that same forum dug it up and posted it on said forum, I wouldn't be concerned in the least. Even if someone posted something here from the "other forum" I wouldn't be concerned because like it or not, these two forums are inextricably linked.

However, if someone dug something up that had nothing to do with the forum, that might cause concern. So the context is important. Just because something can be found doesn't mean it should be looked for.

For instance, I have a better than average chance of finding members from the "other site" on Facebook given my position. Does that mean I should? It's on the Internet, after all.

What's wrong with knowing they have a Facebook and seeing their profile? If they don't want to be found they can be hidden, simple as that. When I left the other forum, the person I considered a troll reached out to me when other staffers ignored me. That is great kindness right there. I didn't balk that he found me on Facebook because I wasn't hiding from anyone so it doesn't make me nervous.

Hammster, you mentioned something about finding something that has nothing to do with the forum and bringing it up. Why does that freak people out? Maybe if you gave examples?

 

[Hammster]

If it had nothing to do with the forum, and was not easily accessed, then that would show that someone with whom I have no relationship with had to devote some time to find that info.

"I see your favorite color is chartreuse. I found that by looking at your Facebook profile. It was on a post from seven years ago."

Wait..what?

That's a bit obsessive. It doesn't qualify as stalking, per se, especially for someone who barely knows me, and with whom I have no relationship with.

 

[Stravinsk]

If it had nothing to do with the forum, and was not easily accessed, then that would show that someone with whom I have no relationship with had to devote some time to find that info.

"I see your favorite color is chartreuse. I found that by looking at your Facebook profile. It was on a post from seven years ago."

Wait..what?

That's a bit obsessive. It doesn't qualify as stalking, per se, especially for someone who barely knows me, and with whom I have no relationship with.

Just to clarify, whoever wrote that is not me. I seem to be mixed up in the conversation here, but our only conversation has been in MSC or the limited conversation here, sir. You assumed I was referring to you when I said someone created a sock and made veiled death threats. This happened long before you ever became staff. The person that is suspected is a female staff member. Not you. You are not my favorite person, but I would not implicate someone just because we butted heads a few times.

 

[psalms 91]

Hope that she was fired at the very least

 

[Hammster]

Just to clarify, whoever wrote that is not me. I seem to be mixed up in the conversation here, but our only conversation has been in MSC or the limited conversation here, sir. You assumed I was referring to you when I said someone created a sock and made veiled death threats. This happened long before you ever became staff. The person that is suspected is a female staff member. Not you. You are not my favorite person, but I would not implicate someone just because we butted heads a few times.

I didn't think you were referring to me. I was just addressing the OP. I do have a sock account, but I've never made a death threat with it.

And I thought I was everyone's favorite person. [emoji1]

 

[truth]

Hope that she was fired at the very least

no she was not

 

[psalms 91]

Then not only would I leave that site but also warn everyone about it. BTW are you a sock since you seem familiar with this

 

[Hammster]

no she was not

And you would know this because....?

 

[Rens]

I'm a stalker. I have no patience whatsoever for lurking.

 

[psalms 91]

lol messy

 

[TurtleHare]

I'm a stalker. I have no patience whatsoever for lurking.

Honesty is the best policy and you're my hero!

 

[TurtleHare]

Just to clarify, whoever wrote that is not me. I seem to be mixed up in the conversation here, but our only conversation has been in MSC or the limited conversation here, sir. You assumed I was referring to you when I said someone created a sock and made veiled death threats. This happened long before you ever became staff. The person that is suspected is a female staff member. Not you. You are not my favorite person, but I would not implicate someone just because we butted heads a few times.

If a staffer made veiled death threats than why didn't you press charges?

 

[Hammster]

If a staffer made veiled death threats than why didn't you press charges?

Or at least report it to other staffers.

 

[Lamb]

If it had nothing to do with the forum, and was not easily accessed, then that would show that someone with whom I have no relationship with had to devote some time to find that info.

"I see your favorite color is chartreuse. I found that by looking at your Facebook profile. It was on a post from seven years ago."

Wait..what?

That's a bit obsessive. It doesn't qualify as stalking, per se, especially for someone who barely knows me, and with whom I have no relationship with.

So it bothers you but you don't consider stalking. What DO you consider stalking?

I don't think I'm bothered by things that are open as much as most people do. I'm good at finding things so I don't find it shocking when other people can find things as well.

 

[Stravinsk]

If a staffer made veiled death threats than why didn't you press charges?

Or at least report it to other staffers.

Multiple reasons. The primary reason is that, at the time, I had no clear idea who it might have been. Most people suspect others they don't like. Well, at the time, I had no clue this person hated me so much. I found this out much much later. I was also operating a sock when it happened, it's complicated and because of my history there, I would have just rather handled it in private. Also - going to the authorities complicates things even further - the thought never crossed my mind.