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  • Results 1 to 7 of 7
    1. #1
      overcast is offline Participant Member
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      How to deal with people who don't consider your value?

      I am sure many of you have seen this that parents look down on the kids who are not richer than their siblings. So the one who is not so rich tends to get those stares and the looks where you may see that he has to deal with that cold shoulder look. It can be terrible considering that experience haunts you for lot of years and it can be seriously bad for the mental health too.

      So in such type of cases how do you deal with people including parents who look down on you?

    2. #2
      Lämmchen's Avatar
      Lämmchen is offline God's Lil Lamb
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      That would be difficult to have to live with if you have those parents I don't think all parents are like that and in my family my sister isn't as well off as my husband and I are but my parents help her out when they can, they don't give her evil looks.

      I think that a child who has parents who looked down on him should gather up the courage to speak about how that makes him feel to them and give them ideas on how they could be more supportive emotionally.
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus


      1 John 5:13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

    3. #3
      Josiah's Avatar
      Josiah is offline Bronze Member
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      I don't care. My "esteem" or value comes from God - not from myself or any other person.
      We are justified by works - just not our own.

    4. #4
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      tango is offline Bronze Member
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      Quote Originally Posted by overcast View Post
      I am sure many of you have seen this that parents look down on the kids who are not richer than their siblings. So the one who is not so rich tends to get those stares and the looks where you may see that he has to deal with that cold shoulder look. It can be terrible considering that experience haunts you for lot of years and it can be seriously bad for the mental health too.

      So in such type of cases how do you deal with people including parents who look down on you?
      A lot would depend on who the person was and the basis for them looking down.

      Sometimes people look down on another person because of an issue with values. Maybe the person thinks their values are superior and the other person is wasting their life following a different set of values. It's easy for people who are very successful in their field (based on how they define "success") to look at others who are less successful and see them as lesser people. Of course those "lesser" people may be successful in their own right but using a different yardstick to define "success". I remember some years ago a friend of mine used to talk about things he'd really like to be able to afford to do or to buy, and for me those things were often the kind of thing I'd just put on my credit card and forget about until the bill came. Financially speaking I was far more successful than he was. But he had a very active social life - far more active than mine, because I was working all hours and he was working enough to keep his bills paid. If we had wanting to play the "looking down" game I could have sneered at him for wasting his life with part time work when he could be earning real money and he could have sneered at me for the fact I barely had a social life. Practically speaking I think the people who are quick to look down on others are doing it out of a sense of unhappiness with their own life - perhaps they sacrificed one thing to achieve another and are jealous of the people who have what they sacrificed.

      As for dealing with them - it's hard to deal with parents until you're old enough to leave home and I don't imagine it would be easy to cut parents out of your life completely even if they did deserve it. As far as other people are concerned, just figure that people who feel the need to sneer at others are probably doing so out of a sense of their own inadequacy.
      "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law" - Aleister Crowley

      "If you love me, obey my commandments" - Jesus Christ

      The Bible comes as a complete package. If we want to pluck verses out of context so make them mean what we want them to mean, if we want to ignore the passages that are inconvenient to our outlook, we should be intellectually honest enough to throw our Bibles in the trash and admit we are following Crowley and not Christ.

    5. #5
      briantheroomie is offline Participant Member
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      Luckily my parents or family has not looked down on me, but friends have! Feels bad and if they continued to look down on me after talking to them 1 on 1, then I had to cut them out of my life unfortunately

    6. #6
      overcast is offline Participant Member
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      Quote Originally Posted by Lämmchen View Post
      I think that a child who has parents who looked down on him should gather up the courage to speak about how that makes him feel to them and give them ideas on how they could be more supportive emotionally.
      I wish it was that easy. In my case they are sending people on me to lecture me so that I just nod for food whenever they speak. They want a slave around them. So that is kind of pushes me away. I hope things would change but that is not going happen that way from what I have seen so far.

    7. #7
      Lämmchen's Avatar
      Lämmchen is offline God's Lil Lamb
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      Quote Originally Posted by overcast View Post
      I wish it was that easy. In my case they are sending people on me to lecture me so that I just nod for food whenever they speak. They want a slave around them. So that is kind of pushes me away. I hope things would change but that is not going happen that way from what I have seen so far.
      Have you ever reached out to set up a boundary so you are used as a slave? Let them know what you'd like and what you will and won't do because you want them to respect you?
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus


      1 John 5:13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

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