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    Married Couples - Thread: Your advice to newlyweds?

    1. #1
      Lämmchen's Avatar
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      Your advice to newlyweds?

      I was at a wedding this weekend and held off giving any advice for their marriage but I heard a lot of other people giving their words of wisdom.

      What advice would you give to newlyweds to help them along in their marital journey?
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus


      1 John 5:13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

    2. #2
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      My advise.... in no particular order....


      1. Love each other. 1 Corinthians 13, Jesus..... The other is more important than self, the other comes first. It includes faithfulness. And forgiveness. Love means there ain't no sacrifice.

      2. Love is also spelled "T.I.M.E." In today's world and economy, it's EASY to become "ships passing in the night" so we may NEED to prioritize our time, even schedule it (however unromantic that is, lol). Turn off the TV, shut down the computers, put away the phones. Talk to each other. Do things together (in addition to that... but omg, some couples even forget to do that).

      3. Learn each other's "Love Language" And do it.

      4. Keep Jesus in the marriage. Do devotions TOGETHER. Pray out loud for each other. Go to church REGULARLY and TOGETHER. Also, love, forgiveness, service - they will all be taught and inspired.

      5. Be cheerleaders for each other. Lift high one another.

      6. Live within financial means.... do finances together.... keep a handle on this: Bad finances can severely damage even strong marriages.


      I'd add, BEFORE marriage: Don't have sex (ever, not once),and certainly don't live together; get to know each other (and not be hyper-focused on bodies instead - there's decades ahead for that).... Get professional pre-marriage counseling from a licensed Christian counselor... don't rush into it....


      There are others, too.... but this spring immediately to mind.



      .
      We are justified by works - just not our own.

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    4. #3
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      Quote Originally Posted by Lämmchen View Post
      I was at a wedding this weekend and held off giving any advice for their marriage but I heard a lot of other people giving their words of wisdom.

      What advice would you give to newlyweds to help them along in their marital journey?
      Pray together and study God's Word together every day is the best advice I can give.
      My wife and I have done that for over 10 years years now, and God has blessed us in our marriage even in the midst of great struggles.
      "If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. Its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” - 1Cor 11:3
      "let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous" - 1John 3:7

    5. #4
      Lämmchen's Avatar
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      What do you say to non-Christian newlyweds who don't want to hear religious advice?
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus


      1 John 5:13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

    6. #5
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      Learn how to say things like
      I'm sorry
      I was wrong
      Please forgive me

      Humble yourself and admit your mistakes when you make them instead of being prideful.

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    8. #6
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      Quote Originally Posted by jsimms435 View Post
      Learn how to say things like
      I'm sorry
      I was wrong
      Please forgive me

      Humble yourself and admit your mistakes when you make them instead of being prideful.





      When I was engaged, a guy who had been married over 50 years told me, "Wives love to hear 3 words: 'I was wrong'." Then he added, "Oh, and 'let's eat out'."
      We are justified by works - just not our own.

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      Quote Originally Posted by Lämmchen View Post
      I was at a wedding this weekend and held off giving any advice for their marriage but I heard a lot of other people giving their words of wisdom.

      What advice would you give to newlyweds to help them along in their marital journey?
      I'm not providing specifically Christian advice, in light of your later question about advice for people who aren't necessarily Christians.

      First and foremost, remember why you're here and what it is you love so much about the other. There will come a time when life happens and you wonder why you did it. Make sure you can answer the question - it will help weather the storms.

      Know that in time you will fight and that's OK. Just make sure you fight fair, focus on the issue at hand and don't keep dredging up the past. Once it's resolved, move on and forget about it. If you're wrong admit it, if you just dig in your heels you'll never resolve it and it will sit there and fester until you do.

      Make sure you make time, space, budget for yourselves. It's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day life and suddenly find your spouse is practically a stranger. If you don't set aside some time and space for yourselves you'll essentially become "married singles" where you have the piece of paper and share a house but that's about it. If money is tight do cheap things you both love. A walk in the woods doesn't cost anything and you can always eat out somewhere cheap.

      Make time for yourselves. If you don't have friends aside from each other, or you never get to see your guy friends/girl friends, you'll feel isolated. Just make sure that time and money isn't spent disproportionately - it doesn't work for one to be endlessly going out such that the other doesn't have time or can't afford it.
      "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law" - Aleister Crowley

      "If you love me, obey my commandments" - Jesus Christ

      The Bible comes as a complete package. If we want to pluck verses out of context so make them mean what we want them to mean, if we want to ignore the passages that are inconvenient to our outlook, we should be intellectually honest enough to throw our Bibles in the trash and admit we are following Crowley and not Christ.

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    12. #8
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      Since so many people picked up on being willing to admit you're wrong, a related thought is that even if you're right sometimes it's better to let something go and be happy. If you know you're right and your spouse is wrong, make sure it's a point that's really worth fighting over before you let it come between you.
      "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law" - Aleister Crowley

      "If you love me, obey my commandments" - Jesus Christ

      The Bible comes as a complete package. If we want to pluck verses out of context so make them mean what we want them to mean, if we want to ignore the passages that are inconvenient to our outlook, we should be intellectually honest enough to throw our Bibles in the trash and admit we are following Crowley and not Christ.

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    14. #9
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      In these days it is not a new marriage to them as they have already relationship and enjoyed a lot. I am seeing after the marriage they hate each other and inmost cases Divorcement has been came.
      These days are different for giving advice to newly wed couples.

    15. #10
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      Quote Originally Posted by bharath View Post
      In these days it is not a new marriage to them as they have already relationship and enjoyed a lot. I am seeing after the marriage they hate each other and inmost cases Divorcement has been came.
      These days are different for giving advice to newly wed couples.
      What do you think causes the change after they get married to hate each other?
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus


      1 John 5:13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.

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