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    Christian Advice Requested - Thread: What do I do about my anger?

    1. #1
      Jerlene is offline Participant Member
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      What do I do about my anger?

      Standard Western techniques such as therapy does not work for me. I was once ordered by a judge to attend anger management classes and I got kicked out on my first day for being too angry. I keep taking out my anger on the people closest to me, I'm guessing because I feel comfortable enough to do so, and I want more than anything for that to stop. My mom has always gotten the worst of it, and now that I have a significant other, they get the worst of it. I try everything I can but no matter what it comes back. I don't get physical, but I'm afraid that one day I will. This is just an all consuming demon, eating me alive from the inside out. I'm looking for any advice. Thanks in advance!

    2. #2
      MennoSota is offline Bronze Member
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      Galatians 5:13-25
      For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
      But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
      But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

      But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

      And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

      I suggest you pray and you pray and you pray. Seek to walk, moment by moment with God's Spirit. Let go of your self desires and hold to Christ Jesus. When you fail, confess your sin and walk in step with the Spirit of God. Pray that God's grace would be greater than your desire toward anger. God will walk with you and will help you, but you must also walk with God. You have a responsibility to pray and walk in step with God's Spirit. How do you do it? Read your Bible. Read it daily. Read it more than once a day. The old saying, "The Bible will keep you from sin or sin will keep you from the Bible" is true. Go to God and walk with God.

    3. #3
      jsimms435's Avatar
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      Anger and irritability is often a sign of someone hurting inside. Hurt People tend to turn around and hurt other people. If you have not read it I would suggest you get the book "Hurt People Hurt People" by Dr. Sandra Wilson. It will lead you to think about how your anger may be a reflection of how you feel not only to others, but to yourself. Because we also tend to treat others the way we feel about ourselves.
      I read Dr.Wilson's book in school and it changed my life

    4. #4
      Lucian Hodoboc's Avatar
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      Pray and use anxiety medicine such as Valium and Xanax.

    5. #5
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      Jerlene,


      Quote Originally Posted by jsimms435 View Post
      Anger and irritability is often a sign of someone hurting inside. Hurt People tend to turn around and hurt other people. If you have not read it I would suggest you get the book "Hurt People Hurt People" by Dr. Sandra Wilson. It will lead you to think about how your anger may be a reflection of how you feel not only to others, but to yourself. Because we also tend to treat others the way we feel about ourselves.
      I read Dr.Wilson's book in school and it changed my life

      Good....

      AND I'm wondering if you need some professional help and maybe some medication... NOTHING to be embarrassed about at all. But sometimes folks just need help.


      At least for much milder cases, GUYS especially seem to benefit from activity. Sometimes when I have some negative stuff, going to the fitness center and working HARD helps a lot. It seems to literally "work it out." I live in a gated community where there are LOTS of kids - but they tend to be young; very few teens. But my next door neighbor is a high school boy with a love for basketball. Sometimes, he knocks on my door and asks, "Can you come out an play?" (always makes me smile; as if we were both six years old, lol). We play some one-on-one. Thing is, he is INTENSE. And I'm twice his age. He's LEARNED, if he keeps the pressure on, he can wear me out and THEN wipe the court with me. My goal is to make him work hard and long to accomplish that (although he eventually will). I walk home tired.... but emotional stuff worked out of me. I long for a hug from my wife, a big glass of iced tea, and my wife to lovingly tease me.



      .
      We are justified by works - just not our own.

    6. #6
      Lämmchen's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Jerlene View Post
      Standard Western techniques such as therapy does not work for me. I was once ordered by a judge to attend anger management classes and I got kicked out on my first day for being too angry. I keep taking out my anger on the people closest to me, I'm guessing because I feel comfortable enough to do so, and I want more than anything for that to stop. My mom has always gotten the worst of it, and now that I have a significant other, they get the worst of it. I try everything I can but no matter what it comes back. I don't get physical, but I'm afraid that one day I will. This is just an all consuming demon, eating me alive from the inside out. I'm looking for any advice. Thanks in advance!
      My husband used to get very angry when he was on Claritin. Sometimes anger is a result of medications or even our hormones or blood pressure. When I was on birth control pills for a year I noticed that I got angry very quickly which is odd for me since I'm always a calm person. Look and see if any of those things could be a cause since you're having trouble controlling it.
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus

    7. #7
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      Last edited by Josiah; 05-24-2019 at 11:19 AM. Reason: Double Post
      We are justified by works - just not our own.

    8. #8
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      Quote Originally Posted by Lämmchen View Post
      My husband used to get very angry when he was on Claritin. Sometimes anger is a result of medications or even our hormones or blood pressure. When I was on birth control pills for a year I noticed that I got angry very quickly which is odd for me since I'm always a calm person. Look and see if any of those things could be a cause since you're having trouble controlling it.

      I'm no expert, but it IS my understanding that emotional unbalance is often chemical - perhaps caused by such and/or at least partly resolved by such. Sometimes all the "talk" in the world doesn't help much because the problem is chemistry, IMO, sometimes it's good to see an MD at least to rule that out. Now, I AGREE docs are sometimes too quick to prescribe some med BUT on the other hand, you likely can't solve a medical/chemical problem without medical intervention.


      True story: When I was a kid, I had a good fiend who was in the same theatre company as me. We've stayed friends all these years. Maybe 5 years ago, when he was in his mid 20's, he started having all kinds of emotional and behavioral issues. Increasingly bad. His parents were personal friends with a counselor and they kept taking my friend to him. He was prayed over and counseled - and it just didn't help. Turns out, he had gotten schizophrenia. He sorta of slipped into it. The counselor never picked up on that (even though it's not rare and he was the typical gender and age for the coming of that); it was his personal MD when he went in for a medical problem, the MD picked up on it almost as soon as the appointment began. Today he is on meds and doing fine.



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      We are justified by works - just not our own.

    9. #9
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      Quote Originally Posted by Jerlene View Post
      What do I do about my anger?
      You do whatever it takes...

      You have to become your own worst enemy...

      You have to become self-punitive...

      For outbursts...

      For thoughts...

      For feelings...

      In that order...

      Blow up at your Mother and you run around the block and wash her car...

      Blow up again and double it...

      You have to DECIDE to go after your temper...

      And do whatever it takes...

      Beginning all your sentences with the words: "Forgive me..." can often help...

      And mean it - You are being a jerk and need constant apology to everyone...

      Become Orthodox and confess your outbursts to your Priest and receive penances from him and do them...

      ASK for penances - really good ones...

      Don't be the sissy who makes yourself a victim of your anger...

      Nobody else is going to cure it for you...

      Get off your lazy spiritual dairy-hare!

      Good luck...

      Expect failures and relapses...

      Don't care about them - Increase penances...


      Arsenios

    10. #10
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      ================================================== ============================================

      As a novel approach, Jerlene could carry a mirror (as large as is convenient – the one in a compact is too small), and whenever she has one of her turns, dig the mirror out and look at herself.

      What would she see?


      ================================================== ============================================
      Seeking to understand with precision, God's holy and coherent revelation to us.

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