What are the pros and cons

Jazzy

Well-known member
Valued Contributor
Joined
Feb 14, 2020
Messages
3,168
Location
Vermont
Gender
Female
Religious Affiliation
Charismatic
Marital Status
Single
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
What are the pros and cons of moving your parent/parents in with you in their elderly years to avoid them going to a care home?
 

Lamb

God's Lil Lamb
Community Team
Administrator
Supporting Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2015
Messages
31,689
Age
57
Gender
Female
Religious Affiliation
Lutheran
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
The pros are that you keep your parents close to you, you can choose to directly care for them or hire someone to assist, and know that they aren't being harmed or taken advantage of. The cons are that it's expensive to put them in assisted living or other types of homes, they have fall risks, they might be neglected and get bed sores and they might feel abandoned by their children.
 

tango

... and you shall live ...
Valued Contributor
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
14,195
Location
Realms of chaos
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
What are the pros and cons of moving your parent/parents in with you in their elderly years to avoid them going to a care home?

If you look after them yourself you save the ruinous costs of care homes. You also have more control over their care regime. And it means you get to spend more time with your parents in their twilight years.

The downsides are that you have to provide the care or have someone else visiting your home to provide the care. If you can't handle it yourself and have home helpers visiting you're back to the chance that care will be scrimped and corners will be cut while also allowing strangers into your home with the associated risks of that. You also have to deal with your parents all the time, which may be very demanding depending on their needs and personality. A friend of mine has a grandmother in a nursing home - my memories of her was that she was a lot of fun to be around but now my friend's description is that she's just a mean old woman.

Depending on your family situation you may also have complications when parents finally pass. It's not unheard of for one child to provide extensive care for years only for their siblings to expect the estate to be divided absolutely equally with no consideration given to the sacrifices made by the one.

It can also be psychologically demanding if going out as a couple means hiring someone to sit in and watch the parents - even if it's saving the cost of a care home to some people it can feel like taking any time out gets ever-more expensive and they lose control of their own lives for an unknown time. If you can't even take a short break without figuring how to provide care for elderly relatives for that exact time that can become more draining than some people expect.

And of course moving them into your home requires that you live in a place big enough to house them and in a location they would be willing to live.
 

Forgiven1

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 23, 2015
Messages
878
Location
Texas
Gender
Female
Religious Affiliation
Lutheran
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
The pros are that they are in a home with family. The cons can be caregiver fatigue. If the person is needing lots of help, get lots of outside help for them so you don't burn out.
 
Top Bottom