Unless you want God to take away my free will
I don't believe that we have free will. We might be able to do what we want (to some extent), but we cannot choose what we want. The fact that we want to be saved from hell is not a choice. We can't will ourselves to not want to be saved from hell. We can't will ourselves to like suffering. Therefore, we don't have free will. We only have limited will.
If I disagree with you it naturally follows that I think you are wrong. But while I am considering why I think you are wrong I need to consider the possibility that you are right and I am wrong. Maybe both of us are wrong and something totally different is right. To observe that I can't get my head around something and therefore conclude that it must be wrong doesn't really work, whatever the "something" is.
The problem is that God made the system in such a way that it is impossible for anyone to assess anything from an outside perspective. We are locked inside our consciousness and there is no means of judging God's system of morality other than by our own. There's no third being who can share their thoughts.
To observe that I can't get my head around something and therefore conclude that it must be wrong is perfectly reasonable if said something causes you suffering. We have an innate displeasure of suffering, we are born with it, the first thing newborns do is cry due to experiencing suffering (pain, discomfort etc.). We know that this is intrinsically wrong. If we had the medical advancements to minimize or eliminate all suffering during deliveries, we would.
People sometimes give the example of medical procedures which hurt, yet are meant to heal (like parents who willingly take their children to get shots, surgeries etc. in order to heal them), but those examples are meaningless when we consider that medical research has constantly worked to diminish the suffering caused by these procedures as much as possible. We can't completely eliminate it yet, but we acknowledge that accepting said suffering is wrong and that said suffering should not be there. That's why they constantly work on developing all sort of stronger painkillers with fewer side effects, numbing gels for when children get injections etc. Back in the 1800, taking your child to have surgery would have been considered a reasonable and loving thing to do as a parent, even though back then surgeries were brutal due to the limited number of pain-numbing medication and lack of general anesthesia. If we could time-travel back to 1800, take a family with a child sick of tuberculosis, bring him to a present-day hospital, have the doctors explain to them that we have the cure for it and the child could get well in a matter of weeks, but then refuse to offer them the treatment and sent them back in time to their era, surely, that family would have considered us to be evil monsters. And rightfully so. We could have helped them, we could have saved them, we could have spared them from physical suffering, but we chose not to. That is what God does. He has the powers to eradicate the pain. He can will all disabilities out of existence with a snap of His fingers, but chooses not to.
You're also bringing torture into the process. Torture is an active suffering - the Bible typically uses words more like "torment". If you're given the chance to attend a party - there are free tickets being handed out - but you choose not to, then your sense of missing out as you stand outside the party hearing everyone else having a great time isn't torture, it's a sense of missing out. And that consequence is entirely on you because you chose not to take a free ticket.
No, it's not entirely on me. Your comparison leaves a few elements out of the picture:
- there are people who hand out "free tickets" to the party, but there are also numerous people saying that this party is not real, and that they have tickets to a real party, and you end up getting 5 tickets to five different parties, all of them claiming to be the real party, but the parties are held in a place that cannot be found on any map and no one knows how to get to that location
- the party is held by your abusive father, who all throughout your life allowed you to get bullied, beaten up by neighbors, never took you to the hospital when you were ill, was pretty much absent from your life, and always blamed you or someone else for his lack of involvement in your life
If God is handing out tickets to heaven and you choose not to take one because you dislike whatever concept of God you have, you don't get to blame God if he grants your wish and you sit outside for all eternity. That regret that you could have been inside had you made a different choice is entirely of your own making.
Yes, I do get to blame God because He only created two options: in and out of Heaven. He didn't give me the ability to create my own world according to my own principles, or to remove myself from existence at will.
Also, dislike for someone is most of the time based on experience. While I admit that is is possible to willingly choose to dislike someone who has been kind to you, most people only dislike those who have been mean to them. No one wakes up one morning, looks at their loving and helpful father who is always nice to them and says, "hey, I think I'd like to dislike my dad for no reason". No one does that. But when your father makes your life a nightmare...
