Money to your friends?

TurtleHare

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2015
Messages
1,057
Gender
Female
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Married
Do y'all ever loan out money to your friends? Asking for a friend. :smirk:
 

Josiah

simul justus et peccator
Valued Contributor
Supporting Member
Joined
Jun 12, 2015
Messages
13,647
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Lutheran
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
Never.

It's been some time ago, but what I have done is GIVE them the money. If they give the whole "I'll pay you back" thing, I just said "pay it forward."

My rationale? I may never get it back, so rather than cause ill feelings, guilt, anger, resentment.... I'll just give it.
 

Lamb

God's Lil Lamb
Community Team
Administrator
Supporting Member
Joined
Jun 10, 2015
Messages
31,560
Age
57
Gender
Female
Religious Affiliation
Lutheran
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
When I was in art school a friend from my high school asked me to loan her money for a stereo. My parents, who were on my bank account, said No, don't do it because it will ruin your friendship. I almost lost my friendship over that anyway by declining. She had a lot of financial hardships after that and I wonder if my parents were right. I mean, a stereo isn't necessary to sustain your life.
 

tango

... and you shall live ...
Valued Contributor
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
14,083
Location
Realms of chaos
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
Do y'all ever loan out money to your friends? Asking for a friend. :smirk:

It would depend on the amount involved.

If you're talking about a nominal amount then I wouldn't have a problem with that. I remember one time a friend asked me for some help one day and offered lunch in exchange for a morning's work. I'd have helped him anyway but wasn't going to say no to him picking up lunch on the way home. We stopped in a little dive bar so it's not like he was breaking the bank or anything. Anyway, when the bill arrived he was hugely embarrassed because he realized he didn't have cash and the dive bar didn't do credit cards. So I rustled up the whopping sum of maybe $20 for lunch. On the way back he stopped at an ATM to give me the $20 back.

If a friend asked me for the kind of money I'd be upset to not get back I would decline, unless it was the sort of thing that was clearly required to avert a crisis. In that situation I'd consider whether I was willing to make it a gift or an open-ended loan on the "pay whenever you can" basis while knowing that "whenever you can" might turn out to mean "never".

If it was a friend who was clearly incompetent in handling their finances then my interest in throwing money into a hole would diminish. We probably all know someone who can't afford to pay their rent/mortgage, constantly struggles to pay bills, yet somehow manages to afford to keep lots of alcohol in the house and owns the very latest iPhone. I'm not really interested in notionally helping someone with their mortgage knowing that the cash is probably going to end up spent on beer.
 

Tigger

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,555
Age
63
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Lutheran
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
My budget is pretty tight to the point that when I’m standing on the street corner waiting for the light to change passerby’s have been known to give me their pocket change :boggled:

Seriously the few times one of my kids have needed help I go into it knowing if I don’t get the money back it’s not worth the value of the relationship.
 

TurtleHare

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2015
Messages
1,057
Gender
Female
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Married
I gather that what y'all are saying is I can't get a loan? hehe j/k I don't feel at all comfortable loaning my hard earned cash out and not after I see the priorities or lack of from my friends who spend their money on frivolous garbage. I work too hard for them to blow it, ya know?
 

tango

... and you shall live ...
Valued Contributor
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
14,083
Location
Realms of chaos
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
I gather that what y'all are saying is I can't get a loan? hehe j/k I don't feel at all comfortable loaning my hard earned cash out and not after I see the priorities or lack of from my friends who spend their money on frivolous garbage. I work too hard for them to blow it, ya know?

Lending money to someone you know is wasteful is doing little more than enabling their wastefulness. It might seem patronising to offer a loan on condition that the recipient learns to budget or some such but the reality is that if they don't know how to budget (or choose not to bother) your loan is just going to get wasted along with everything else.
 

Andrew

Matt 18:15
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
6,645
Age
39
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Single
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
Only if it's a co worker and maybe just a little bit so it doesn't break me. I've had friends that never paid me back and I lose respect for them, they pretend they forgot even when I mentioned it before...
 

tango

... and you shall live ...
Valued Contributor
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
14,083
Location
Realms of chaos
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
Only if it's a co worker and maybe just a little bit so it doesn't break me. I've had friends that never paid me back and I lose respect for them, they pretend they forgot even when I mentioned it before...

One reason I don't tend to borrow from, or lend to, people I know (unless it's very small amounts) is that I tend to forget. You can tell it's a genuinely forgotten loan because I'm just as likely to forget that you owe me money as I am to forget that I owe you money.
 

Andrew

Matt 18:15
Joined
Aug 25, 2017
Messages
6,645
Age
39
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Single
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
One reason I don't tend to borrow from, or lend to, people I know (unless it's very small amounts) is that I tend to forget. You can tell it's a genuinely forgotten loan because I'm just as likely to forget that you owe me money as I am to forget that I owe you money.
If I ask for a spot loan I am eager to pay them back asap, I literally pay them back as soon as the next day. Again, It's only with co workers and as of now I am 'in between' jobs by having a temporal part time job but I have asked around in the past when I am driving on an empty tank 30 minutes away.
 

tango

... and you shall live ...
Valued Contributor
Joined
Jul 13, 2015
Messages
14,083
Location
Realms of chaos
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
If I ask for a spot loan I am eager to pay them back asap, I literally pay them back as soon as the next day. Again, It's only with co workers and as of now I am 'in between' jobs by having a temporal part time job but I have asked around in the past when I am driving on an empty tank 30 minutes away.

I like to pay back soon, simply because if I don't then I'm likely to forget.
 

Brighten04

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 28, 2015
Messages
2,188
Gender
Female
Religious Affiliation
Protestant
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Married
I don't loan money. If I can give it, I do.
 

vince284

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
300
Location
USA
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
Interesting, before reading these posts on lending money to friends I would have said that I do and have no problems doing so. But I really don’t, if a friend asks me for $20 I give it as a gift, but I rarely do since I don’t carry cash. On rare occasions I have lent a few hundred but I really don’t like to because if they don’t have it now, I imagine they won’t have it later to pay it back (luckily, they have all paid me pack). However, I have made investments (loans) to/with friends of thousands of dollars but I always have a contract. Of course payback is always with interest. So I can’t remember having any problems in the past with friends and money.
 

TurtleHare

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 29, 2015
Messages
1,057
Gender
Female
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Political Affiliation
Conservative
Marital Status
Married
Here's to hoping all my buddies get big tax refunds this year and loan me some of dat cash :big-eyes: :smirk: :happy-run2:
 

vince284

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 15, 2015
Messages
300
Location
USA
Gender
Male
Religious Affiliation
Christian
Acceptance of the Trinity & Nicene Creed
Yes
Here's to hoping all my buddies get big tax refunds this year and loan me some of dat cash :big-eyes: :smirk: :happy-run2:

LOL, I ALWAYS pay at the end. I don't like anyone to keep my money without interest. Although, I have made exceptions for friends. I haven't received a refund in over 30 years at least, I don't remember ever getting a refund. :smirk:
 
Top Bottom