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    Christian Advice Requested - Thread: Money to your friends?

    1. #1
      TurtleHare's Avatar
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      Money to your friends?

      Do y'all ever loan out money to your friends? Asking for a friend.
      If you want to rile people up then go to a Christian site and give God ALL the glory for your salvation.

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      Never.

      It's been some time ago, but what I have done is GIVE them the money. If they give the whole "I'll pay you back" thing, I just said "pay it forward."

      My rationale? I may never get it back, so rather than cause ill feelings, guilt, anger, resentment.... I'll just give it.
      We are justified by works - just not our own.

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    4. #3
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      When I was in art school a friend from my high school asked me to loan her money for a stereo. My parents, who were on my bank account, said No, don't do it because it will ruin your friendship. I almost lost my friendship over that anyway by declining. She had a lot of financial hardships after that and I wonder if my parents were right. I mean, a stereo isn't necessary to sustain your life.
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus

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    6. #4
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      Quote Originally Posted by TurtleHare View Post
      Do y'all ever loan out money to your friends? Asking for a friend.
      It would depend on the amount involved.

      If you're talking about a nominal amount then I wouldn't have a problem with that. I remember one time a friend asked me for some help one day and offered lunch in exchange for a morning's work. I'd have helped him anyway but wasn't going to say no to him picking up lunch on the way home. We stopped in a little dive bar so it's not like he was breaking the bank or anything. Anyway, when the bill arrived he was hugely embarrassed because he realized he didn't have cash and the dive bar didn't do credit cards. So I rustled up the whopping sum of maybe $20 for lunch. On the way back he stopped at an ATM to give me the $20 back.

      If a friend asked me for the kind of money I'd be upset to not get back I would decline, unless it was the sort of thing that was clearly required to avert a crisis. In that situation I'd consider whether I was willing to make it a gift or an open-ended loan on the "pay whenever you can" basis while knowing that "whenever you can" might turn out to mean "never".

      If it was a friend who was clearly incompetent in handling their finances then my interest in throwing money into a hole would diminish. We probably all know someone who can't afford to pay their rent/mortgage, constantly struggles to pay bills, yet somehow manages to afford to keep lots of alcohol in the house and owns the very latest iPhone. I'm not really interested in notionally helping someone with their mortgage knowing that the cash is probably going to end up spent on beer.
      "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law" - Aleister Crowley

      "If you love me, obey my commandments" - Jesus Christ

      The Bible comes as a complete package. If we want to pluck verses out of context so make them mean what we want them to mean, if we want to ignore the passages that are inconvenient to our outlook, we should be intellectually honest enough to throw our Bibles in the trash and admit we are following Crowley and not Christ.

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      My budget is pretty tight to the point that when I’m standing on the street corner waiting for the light to change passerby’s have been known to give me their pocket change

      Seriously the few times one of my kids have needed help I go into it knowing if I don’t get the money back it’s not worth the value of the relationship.

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    9. #6
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      I gather that what y'all are saying is I can't get a loan? hehe j/k I don't feel at all comfortable loaning my hard earned cash out and not after I see the priorities or lack of from my friends who spend their money on frivolous garbage. I work too hard for them to blow it, ya know?
      If you want to rile people up then go to a Christian site and give God ALL the glory for your salvation.

    10. #7
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      Quote Originally Posted by TurtleHare View Post
      I gather that what y'all are saying is I can't get a loan? hehe j/k I don't feel at all comfortable loaning my hard earned cash out and not after I see the priorities or lack of from my friends who spend their money on frivolous garbage. I work too hard for them to blow it, ya know?
      Lending money to someone you know is wasteful is doing little more than enabling their wastefulness. It might seem patronising to offer a loan on condition that the recipient learns to budget or some such but the reality is that if they don't know how to budget (or choose not to bother) your loan is just going to get wasted along with everything else.
      "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law" - Aleister Crowley

      "If you love me, obey my commandments" - Jesus Christ

      The Bible comes as a complete package. If we want to pluck verses out of context so make them mean what we want them to mean, if we want to ignore the passages that are inconvenient to our outlook, we should be intellectually honest enough to throw our Bibles in the trash and admit we are following Crowley and not Christ.

    11. #8
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      Only if it's a co worker and maybe just a little bit so it doesn't break me. I've had friends that never paid me back and I lose respect for them, they pretend they forgot even when I mentioned it before...

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      Quote Originally Posted by Andrew View Post
      Only if it's a co worker and maybe just a little bit so it doesn't break me. I've had friends that never paid me back and I lose respect for them, they pretend they forgot even when I mentioned it before...
      One reason I don't tend to borrow from, or lend to, people I know (unless it's very small amounts) is that I tend to forget. You can tell it's a genuinely forgotten loan because I'm just as likely to forget that you owe me money as I am to forget that I owe you money.
      "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law" - Aleister Crowley

      "If you love me, obey my commandments" - Jesus Christ

      The Bible comes as a complete package. If we want to pluck verses out of context so make them mean what we want them to mean, if we want to ignore the passages that are inconvenient to our outlook, we should be intellectually honest enough to throw our Bibles in the trash and admit we are following Crowley and not Christ.

    13. #10
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      Quote Originally Posted by tango View Post
      One reason I don't tend to borrow from, or lend to, people I know (unless it's very small amounts) is that I tend to forget. You can tell it's a genuinely forgotten loan because I'm just as likely to forget that you owe me money as I am to forget that I owe you money.
      If I ask for a spot loan I am eager to pay them back asap, I literally pay them back as soon as the next day. Again, It's only with co workers and as of now I am 'in between' jobs by having a temporal part time job but I have asked around in the past when I am driving on an empty tank 30 minutes away.

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